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 Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 9:21 am
okay so i have not been jewish all my life. I converted to judaism because my mother is jewish and its the religion i believe in. So my mom told me when i was little that i can do whatever i wanted to do. So sephardi judaism runs thick in my mom's family i knew it was right for me. And my father is like "Evangelical Christian" and he told me when i was little that jews and other religions besides chirstianity go to hell. gonk and now he knows i converted and he is dissapointed in being my father. I told him this was what i wanted to do. And yes i love my father but it seems now he doesnt love me for choosing a way to love god... and i am thinking if he will go to my wedding or not even show up or anything. So what do you think i should tell him to not be so dissapointed in me for choosing this? emo
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Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 9:28 am
and yes my parents are divorced since i was 2 xp
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Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 10:30 am
My dad is Catholic. But he hates that Evangelical stuff; He even switched churches to totally avoid it.
So get serious.
Tell him to go, well, F*ck off. That is, if you're willing to take the punishment. True, it will change your dynamic forever and you can't be Daddy's girl, but he has no right to act this way. You'll catch your own Hell for it, but since I'm not the one facing consequences I think that the assertion is necessary.
In Media Res, ya comin'?
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Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 1:11 pm
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Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 3:19 pm
ANother JGGer, In Media Res IV, is a practing noachide who is in the process of converting to Judaism, and her parents are hugely unsupportive. I am sure she will show up here to share her experience.
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Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 3:35 pm
Lumanny the Space Jew ANother JGGer, In Media Res IV, is a practing noachide who is in the process of converting to Judaism, and her parents are hugely unsupportive. I am sure she will show up here to share her experience. oh well my mom and my brothers (who are also jewish) are proud of me but my dad obviously hates me....
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Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 4:22 pm
Adorkable Tori Lumanny the Space Jew ANother JGGer, In Media Res IV, is a practing noachide who is in the process of converting to Judaism, and her parents are hugely unsupportive. I am sure she will show up here to share her experience. oh well my mom and my brothers (who are also jewish) are proud of me but my dad obviously hates me.... I don't think you should have to take that sitting down. Just don't do anything you'll regret and still remember that you still muust honor your father.
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Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 5:26 pm
Lovely conflicting advice there, Lum...
The one thing to keep in mind is that you need to be assertive. Maybe your father doesn't like your decision, but this is one of the only areas in life where it is your decision alone. So stay strong and stick with it, but don't, as Lum said, tell your dad to f*ck off. He's still your dad and you don't want to severe the link. Instead, just remind him that this is your choice and you're still his daughter.
As I'm sure others will say when they see this thread, an important thing to do is get in contact with a rabbi. Technically, you're already Jewish, so no conversion is needed, but it's good to belong to a shul to educate you about Judaism.
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Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 11:14 pm
Lumanny the Space Jew ANother JGGer, In Media Res IV, is a practing noachide who is in the process of converting to Judaism, and her parents are hugely unsupportive. I am sure she will show up here to share her experience. Im not even trying to go to shul anymore. Tori has a huuge advantage on me. you're already Jewish, Tori. Ask your father why he loved your mother, knowing full well that she is a Jew.
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Posted: Tue Aug 04, 2009 3:29 pm
In Medias Res IV Lumanny the Space Jew ANother JGGer, In Media Res IV, is a practing noachide who is in the process of converting to Judaism, and her parents are hugely unsupportive. I am sure she will show up here to share her experience. Im not even trying to go to shul anymore. Tori has a huuge advantage on me. you're already Jewish, Tori. Ask your father why he loved your mother, knowing full well that she is a Jew. lol i guess so. But my mother converted to christianity because she wanted to be with my father. But i am sepharti jewish but on my grandmothers side and a little bit deep in my grandfathers side they are catholic. So my grandparents are christian. So its only my mother and my two brothers who are jewish in my family now. And i want to keep my family going with it. But on my dads side, my dad's brother and sister told me that they loved me and that they respect my decision. But my dad's parents told me straight up if i did this god wont love me and i will burn in hell. They dont even see me anymore they moved to england to spred the word of god and tell people to convert to evangelical christianity. And just a few weeks ago my dad went to visit peru and did the same f**king thing. NO i havent talked to the rabbi yet because i dont know what to tell him. My mother is fully aware of the situation and she is just saying little stuff to me that if he really respects me he would respect my decision and stuff. But my brothers i felt they only converted just to stick it to my dad because my father was very abusive to them and me when my mother was still with him. But i talked to them and they said they could care less about dad and they are doing this because it is what they want. And it is for me to. But my oldest brother has not talked to my father in 10 years because what he did to him. i never "make" him go talk to him i just say that god says that bitterness turns to hate and all that hate stays with you forever. But i to have bitterness towards my father but i get over it from time to time. But anyways i said alot. Just tell me what you think my life would go with this because i am not EVER going to convert back to christianity
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Eloquent Conversationalist
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Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 3:06 pm
Tori, welcome (if I haven't already said so at some point). You said something interesting -- you converted to Judaism because your mother is Jewish? If your mother was born Jewish, then you are already Jewish. Speak to your local halachic authority (in your case, your local Sephardi rabbi) to be sure about this, but I think you're a Jew even if your mother was practicing or professing another religion at the time, because once you're a Jew, you're a Jew all the way, from your first "oy gevalt" to your last dying day. Again, check with your Sephardi rabbi to get a final ruling on the matter, but I'm pretty sure you never even had to convert at all, if your mother is halachically Jewish.
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Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 4:48 pm
Res, I thought the exact same thing. How could you love and marry someone whose culture you disapprove of so thoroughly?
Tori, how long has your father known about your decision to embrace your Jewish heritage? This may just be a knee jerk reaction to something he's not in full understanding of. Though my parents never acted as if it were a horrible and condemning decision, there for a while when they tried to believe that eventually I'd grow out of wanting to be Jewish. Perhaps it's their way of clinging to the child they remember and not the adults we're becoming/become.
You seem like a girl who does not want to hurt your father or make it seem like you are trying to rebel, so like Behatz said remind him that you're his daughter and you don't mean to cause him grief.
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Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 9:33 am
kingpinsqeezels Res, I thought the exact same thing. How could you love and marry someone whose culture you disapprove of so thoroughly? Tori, how long has your father known about your decision to embrace your Jewish heritage? This may just be a knee jerk reaction to something he's not in full understanding of. Though my parents never acted as if it were a horrible and condemning decision, there for a while when they tried to believe that eventually I'd grow out of wanting to be Jewish. Perhaps it's their way of clinging to the child they remember and not the adults we're becoming/become. You seem like a girl who does not want to hurt your father or make it seem like you are trying to rebel, so like Behatz said remind him that you're his daughter and you don't mean to cause him grief. well my mother didnt grow up jewish. My grandfather raised my mother and my aunt to be christian. so my grandparents are both christian. But we found out that my great grandparents where jewish. And i couldnt tell my father how i felt about "converting" because my mother would get in trouble with the court order. i had to do it when my father stops paying child support and now like he is suprised that i did this. Even when i told him i didnt want to go to chuch with him when he asked me to.
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 7:24 am
I strongly urge you to talk to a rabbi about your background if you haven't already done so. You may not be a convert at all, but a Jew, despite what your parents practiced, if your maternal grandmother is/was a Jew.
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Eloquent Conversationalist
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Posted: Sun Aug 30, 2009 4:21 am
Divash is right in recommending that you consult a Rabbi on this, from my own experience I've learned to honour my parents at a distance. While it is true that one cannot live another's life for them as we are given free will from G-d. I don't think it is right for your father to attempt any sort of coercion when it comes to a matter of faith. How well you live in accord with the Covenant and your devotion to the L-rd should begin to have an effect on your father's disposition, viz. leading by examples of virtue. Only the L-rd G-d decides the issue of Heaven and Hell, not people. We have neither the wisdom or depth of knowledge of another let alone right to make that sort of judgement and we should be glad on this account. Again, consult the Rabbi as they are often a better source of advice when dealing with family and religious issues. wink
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