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 Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 7:47 pm
Alas! Hark! Hello!
Shouts of doom... doom.
Crying tears and bleedings.
Walls.
Memories, memories.
OH CRUELTY.
TIP THE HAT... TO THE WALLS.
River of death.
Ham sandwich.
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 7:54 pm
xp I love the fact that your poetry is just line after line of random.
Since I know you, and know that you're either a) absolutely insane, or b) on stuff, I realize you made this up line by line as you went along, and probably made sure that it would make no sense.
Therefore, it's virtually impossible for me to critique this.
All I can say is that the cliches in the first stanza stabbed my eyes out. Although I liked "TIP THE HAT... TO THE WALLS," for some odd reason. It's interesting.
The ending line was beautiful. It also made me ravenously hungry.
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Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 11:58 am
Laverne Terres Oh! Oh, the poor angel, lost in a river with a clump of wood stopping the flow. The poor dammed angel. It just seemed fitting. ^.^ (I couldn't find someone talking about how poetry is all about your feelings to suit the title...Oh well.) Fun aside, I agree with Kj's Tip the hat enjoyment - it made me giggle. I think I wonder most about opening with the Alas - hello, though. I mean, the rest of it looks suitably melodramatic in its darkness except for the joke ending, but...I can't figure out why you fit in the hello bits at the start. Even if it's all randomness, why begin there instead of opening with the shouts of doom? Just curious. ^.^
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Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 3:31 pm
Oh cause you see, it's a joke. I made it up as I went along to make fun of crappy crappiness.
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Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 11:31 pm
StudPowercock Oh cause you see, it's a joke. I made it up as I went along to make fun of crappy crappiness. I got that. I just thought I'd ask what inspired you to start there instead of with something else. I don't know much about constructing jokes, you see: I really lack much in the way of a sense of humor. People are always trying to encourage that side of me, but it just seems stuck in neutral. Or park. Whichever one would be more stuck. I don't drive.
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 3:39 pm
...but that was a joke right there...
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 4:46 pm
Shjade StudPowercock Oh cause you see, it's a joke. I made it up as I went along to make fun of crappy crappiness. I got that. I just thought I'd ask what inspired you to start there instead of with something else. I don't know much about constructing jokes, you see: I really lack much in the way of a sense of humor. People are always trying to encourage that side of me, but it just seems stuck in neutral. Or park. Whichever one would be more stuck. I don't drive. I refuse to believe Park exists. There are no automatic vehicles, for that would be an abomination. Thus, in first gear with the car turned off would be your answer.
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 5:50 pm
If set into first gear the car can still roll if hit or on a hill. Park locks the breaks so that the car won't budge. Duh.
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 8:53 pm
DagdaIV I refuse to believe Park exists. There are no automatic vehicles, for that would be an abomination. Thus, in first gear with the car turned off would be your answer. Um. So. Hm. ... :kidnaps DagdaIV and keeps him in an automatic car's trunk for a few hours, because she is evil:
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 11:32 pm
Since when did this become more about cars and less about my awesome?
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 7:00 pm
gonk I HATE ham sandwiches!!!!!
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 8:16 pm
Why? Are you a little b***h? heart
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 8:34 pm
StudPowercock Why? Are you a little b***h? heart I never really thought about it... sad I may well be... shucks.
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 10:16 pm
Follow My Lied StudPowercock Why? Are you a little b***h? heart I never really thought about it... sad I may well be... shucks. ... >.> <.< ...so, um. Does this mean... ...can I keep him? ... sweatdrop
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Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 8:57 am
Shjade Follow My Lied StudPowercock Why? Are you a little b***h? heart I never really thought about it... sad I may well be... shucks. ... >.> <.< ...so, um. Does this mean... ...can I keep him? ... sweatdrop Are you ready for that kind of committment? You'll have to feed and bathe me. Walk me. I'll probably take up a lot of space at the foot of your bed...
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