Welcome to Gaia! ::

So your first baby is about to turn one year old? (edit: I just assumed from the baby picture and August 1st signature you had, but maybe August 1st is actually your birthday and not the baby's?) Well, it's entirely up to you of course, but I think I'd wait.

Most children require so much time when they are about 0-3 years old. In a daycare where I used to work, there were three kids in the 18 months room. And it was just constant diaper changing, and cleaning hands, and preparing food, and cleaning bibs that I never actually got to just play with the kids or spend any sort of meaningful quality time with them.

Sibling rivalry is often worse when kids are closer together in age too. Because many small children see a new baby as just another person who's going to hog the attention and resources that they need. Where older children often feel more involved and included in the process of welcoming a new baby home and helping out with the care.

So I definitely don't think it's unhealthy to want another baby right now. And I don't think you'd be wrong for going for it if you really have the time, money, space, etc. for another child. But I don't think I'd do it. xp

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but given from some of the things I've seen you say over the past few months in the guild, money is tight and your relationship with your husband has some issues. Not necessarily the best conditions for having another baby, especially the money issue.

I know it's old-fashioned, but I'm a huge believer in not having kids until you're ready to pull it off. Financially, necessity-wise, emotionally, etc.

Spacing-wise it might be ok, but do you think your marriage could survive the stress? Would your first child be getting all of the attention it needs? How would you cope with money - are your jobs enough to provide for 2 babies? Would your maternity leave cover your expenses while he's the main breadwinner?

I can see why you'd want another one, as I've personally been waiting about 4 years and at this rate I'll have to wait at least another 2. But you're not even 20, you're both young, so why not wait until you two are in a better situation with more money and less stress before having another baby?

Fair enough. 3nodding Maybe a doctor would be able to answer some questions, like how much infertility is inherited/genetic? I've never heard of someone your age being infertile, but if it's genetic then maybe it'd be different... Mind you you have your daughter already, so maybe all is not lost? wink

So it sounds like a big part of your reason for wanting a baby is the fear that you might not be fertile for long. To be perfectly honest, I don't really think that's a good reason to have a baby, especially if you're very young and money is tight. I think it would be better to miss out on having another baby than to rush it and have one that you might not be able to fully afford or care for. And not being fertile is far from the end of the world! You still have plenty of options. You could still foster, adopt, get an egg from another woman, just have the one child, take fertility drugs, freeze an egg, etc. 3nodding

It's called saving money, if that's what it came down to. wink My cousin and her husband in California had to do at least one round of IVF when they first tried to get pregnant and couldn't, and I would imagine it was expensive. But it finally worked, she had a boy, and then the second time around she got pregnant naturally.

It's not wrong persay, just not a very good reason to have another baby, especially when the circumstances surrounding your life aren't ideal for having another child anyways. I honestly would wait past January before you start trying to have another child, until your daughter was a bit older (if not later), but that's just me.