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 Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 10:00 pm
That's right. The whole damn thing. Books one through four. And I'm doing it for you all. And because I have nothing better to do.
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Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 10:07 pm
DAY 1 Twilight pages 1-88
Bella bitches a lot. Srsly the first few chapters are just of her whining about how awful Forks is and generally being a b***h to the townfolks who are genuinely being nice to her. And she decided to make the decision to come here on her own. WTF. Character inconsistancies FTW. So far the prose hasn't been nauseatingly bad (if somewhat draggy and directionless), until she gets to describing the Cullens. You all know what happens then. There are a few hints of a plot, enough to make it classified as "character driven." Personally I find Edward enfuriating. With some of the things he says to her, I'd hate him forever and thus leave him pernaently labeled as a total a** in my brain. but he's HAWT and TOTALLY ENTICING and even his BREATH smells amazing. I rolled my eyes at that. Breath does not naturally smell good. XD
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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 12:49 am
I'm not always the one to support reading the book, but if you insist, I'm not here to stop you. And I'm proud to see you got as far as you did.
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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 1:18 am
I trust your reading judgement :3
Good luck! And don't forget this... *hands over mindsoap*
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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 5:12 am
I've read them all before. Be careful! You might get brainwashed! (Hopefully not.)
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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 9:30 am
I'm actually glad. With a new face of anti coming up, the kind that just randomly decided that Twilight was steeeeewpid and belluh is omg fugli!!!1!!, I think we need to keep our place as the ones who actually read it.
I'd rather be the one who took a bite and spat it out than the ones who just randomly trashed the apple.
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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 9:48 pm
I just finished reading the infamous meadow scebe. Basically, the whole scene is how Edward confesses to how he wants nothing more than to eat Bella like a big juicy steak, but he can’t because he LOVES HER (even though their interaction up to this point has been pretty damn shallow). And Bella accepts the fact that she’s literally a piece of meat to him because he’s so PERFECT and COLD and BEAUTIFUL and PALE (I’m keeping track of how many times she uses those words) and because HE SAYS HE LOVES HER SO IT’S ALL OKAY. Recently, on the Tampa news has been the story of a man after beating up his girlfriend, grabbing her baby and taking the car out, threw the baby out of the car window while he was speeding down the interstate. When she had to appear in front of him in trial, he said “I love you” to her as he was taken out in handcuffs. The girl went outside the courthouse and broke down screaming and crying. I couldn’t help but see that scene in the back of my mind as I read the whole meadow scene. When I wasn’t gagging at the descriptions of how COLD and PALE and BEAUTIFUL and PERFECT Edward was, of course.
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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 11:12 pm
M to the Third Power I'm actually glad. With a new face of anti coming up, the kind that just randomly decided that Twilight was steeeeewpid and belluh is omg fugli!!!1!!, I think we need to keep our place as the ones who actually read it. I'd rather be the one who took a bite and spat it out than the ones who just randomly trashed the apple. I'm happy to say that I'm one that ate the whole damn apple before spewing it back up. (And why you may ask?)
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Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:18 pm
You have inspired me to force my eyes past the first page.
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Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:58 pm
I'm proud of you 3nodding be careful though, there are dangerous things in those books... O_O
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Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 1:05 pm
I admire your courage. Reading Twilight is like handling radioactive waste unprotected.
Vandalizing the pages as you go helps some.
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Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 4:30 pm
Before I found this guild, I ate tthe apple and kept it down for a lonnnnggg time. But, all of you people have given awesome reasons for hating Twilight, so....*looks over at spewed up apple*
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Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 12:01 am
Don't read it without gloves and a dictionary on hand. It's like having unprotected sex. Who KNOWS what you'll catch.
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Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 11:25 am
You know how it's going to be absolute torture, but your going to read it anyways. Your very brave. 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 10:26 pm
Okay, so I think I'm getting to the part of Twilight that actually has a plot or something resembling one. I've been re-reading the Ex-Mormon analysis of Twilight which really is one of the best (not to mention funniest) critique/bashing of Twilight out there. (But if you do read it, keep in mind that the author being ex-Mormon and pretty clearly has had some bad experience with the LDS, so some of the things she says about Mormonism in general are pretty harsh) I can appreciate it a lot better now. XD I'm glad I'm doing this. I can definitely hone my arguements against it a lot better now.
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