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Questionable Autobiographer
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Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:41 pm
Closing his eyes for only a few moments, Zack felt the cool breeze on his skin. He ran a leather-gloved hand through his dark spikes and relaxed. He took this time to breathe in deeply and soon open those cerulean eyes of his once again, smiling as he took in the beautiful sights of the garden.
"I wonder where he went off to..." Zack spoke to himself as he continued meandering through the garden, something he found himself doing for quite a while. He loved to hang out with his guide and the other spirits, but after finding out that Cloud was also in the garden, Zack noticed he spend his recent days simply looking for him.
There was something about Cloud and his distance that lured him to the other spirit. It seems that when he left Cloud that faithful day, he created a lot of unfinished business that even in death Cloud cannot seem to deal with...
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Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:56 pm
Perched up on a hill, overlooking the garden, Cloud sat in his solitude. A part of him torn between a simple decision of going to meet someone or continuing to stray away flogged his mind. But it wasn't such a simple decision to Cloud... No... It was something more. The thought that he had failed an important promise he made with his death cringed the blonde spirit to this point of despair.
Letting a long overdue sigh escape his lips he gazed out, mako eyes drowning with sorrow. "...Why do I run..?" He asked himself in a hushed tone, fearing the answer his mind would reply. "...Why?"
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Questionable Autobiographer
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Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 11:07 pm
Realizing that he's gotten pretty high up in altitude from climbing hills and things, Zack faintly wondered if he was straying farther away from Cloud rather than looking for him.
"Maybe I should find a good place where I can see most of the garden. Who knows if I can spot him somewhere below?" He slightly mused over the idea that he'd see a tiny, distance Cloud somewhere under a tree and chuckled. For some reason or another, Zack usually always managed to find Cloud whenever he set out to look for him, despite how vast the garden is. The dark haired spirit wondered if all of this is somehow connected to some predestined path they were to take. Looking up to see the said spirit he was looking for was not too far from him, Zack wonder if he had been answered already.
Walking over to the blond, Zack tried to put on his best greeting face and smiled as he spoke softly to his long ago comrade.
"Hey there, Cloud..." he said as he approached him, making his best efforts not to scare Cloud suddenly, noting the other was in some kind of reverie.
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Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 11:13 pm
His discussion fell internal as he sat there, blankly looking out into the distance. He placed his hands on the ground behind him and leaned back, soon hearing a familiar voice call out. He didn't jump nor turn to look at who it was... Instead he continued to gaze out and subtly replied, "...Hello, Zack..."
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Questionable Autobiographer
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Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 11:19 pm
Knowing that he can get away with it, Zack soon dropped his greeting face and frowned slightly; his light colored puppy ears and tail drooping in slight sadness.
This was not the Cloud he met long ago, back then on that mission with Tseng and the ShinRa soldiers, out in the cold tundra. This was not the Cloud knew before.
"...Do you mind if I joined you, Cloud?" Zack softly spoke, asking as if he were scared of some kind of scolding if he didn't otherwise. Back then, he would have joined Cloud without asking, giving him a classic noogie or a pat on a back. Now... with this new Cloud, it seems like every time they meet, Zack would have to ask.
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Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 11:28 pm
It was true, the blonde wolf spirit had changed throughout the years. Time wasn't kind to him as it was others. There was many times he struggled to get up in the morning after Zack had passed away. Never once did he blame Zack... but instead he blamed himself. He was the reason his best friend had died... and now, he couldn't even hold up a simply promise he had made upon his friend's dying breath.
Despite the other friends he had made over the years, Cloud tried to find new reasons to smile and failed each time. He would constantly relapse into the distant person he had become, much as he was now, and it would take months for him to recall even the faintest smile that he could before all of it happened.
With closed eyes he sat up right, arms lazily resting on his legs as he sighed faintly. "...Go ahead. You don't have to ask me, you know..."
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Questionable Autobiographer
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Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 11:37 pm
There was a tempest of emotions going on inside Cloud and Zack knew it. Perhaps... the reason why Zack was reluctant to join the wolf spirit was because he felt his presence would only intensify Cloud's depression or instability. Or both. Really not knowing if he should be relaxed or not, Zack decided that perhaps its finally time to talk to Cloud. One on one. About what was going on...
"Yeah..." was all he said as Zack took a seat next to Cloud. He looked up at that garden and noted the majestic view Cloud had. How could he look at such beauty so sadly...?
"You know, Cloud.. You keep on telling me that it's nothing I should worry about, but I think now is about time we talk." Zack started off and turned around to Cloud, trying to see if the other would look back.
"I want to know what's making you so sad... I want to know why things have changed so much.." Zack trailed off, not further continuing his plea for more. He realized that at this point in time, it would be better to take things one step at a time with Cloud.
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Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 11:47 pm
Shifting his gaze to the grass in front of him, Cloud allowed the silence to take hold as he listened to Zack's words. It was the moment he dreaded and feared the most... And yet he knew it had to be done.
"...Things have changed due to what I was so foolish to realized, Zack..." Cloud admitted. "...When you died... it felt as if a part of me did as well. You asked me to carry on your legacy... and I tried." The blonde paused, never once looking at the other as he talked. It wasn't out of rudeness but out of the desire to not see the truthful expressions Zack would make to his long overdue confession. It was true many could have figured out what plague the blonde, but for years he refused to accept it. Taking a deep breath, he continued.
"...I... I lost sight of who I was... I began to think I was you. That your life was mine. That my life didn't exist. I followed in your footsteps, exactly as I believed you would walk... I only did things knowing if you would help someone or not... I... I was a fool..." He looked up, back to gazing at the marvelous garden before them. "...When I began to realize my mistake, due to Tifa's help... it was too late. Although I tried to correct it and live for myself... and let go of the pain I felt... I died. And I failed you..."
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Questionable Autobiographer
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Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 12:02 am
Zack looked down and tried his best not to let any tears fall down his cheek as he heard the words come out of Cloud's mouth. He knew that crying made things better, but for now, he has to be strong for Cloud. If Cloud saw Zack cry, gods know what that would do to the poor spirit.
"Cloud..." was all he said for a good while, noting that he was choking back on the words he wanted to say. In all honesty, Zack had a pretty good idea that all of this had happen. After his death, Zack tried his best to watch over Cloud and follow his every move. He wanted to guide him even though there was only so much he could do. Although now seeing him once again, Zack couldn't help but want for things to be like the old days.
"My living legacy... So you remembered when I told you that day..." Zack remembered the day he died so clearly, it scared him. However, if those same words were the ones that made Cloud commit to such a different path in life, perhaps... it was Zack's fault anything of this had happened. Although, to be honest, Zack didn't know why Cloud was faulting himself so much. In that time, even if Cloud had be posing as someone else, it gave him the strength to do extraordinary things. And even after Cloud found himself, he still managed to do good things for the world. Many good things for the world as a whole.
"I.. I didn't think you'd take my words so seriously. Cloud, I.. I know I died protecting you, but I wouldn't have wanted for you to live on with that day forever in your memory. That last thing I wanted to do was hurt you..." The dark haired spirit shook his head and then turned to Cloud once again.
"But you know, you didn't fail me. On the contrary... I think, you did way more that what I would have done in life." He nodded reassuringly and slightly chuckled. "I've been watching you, as much as I can, since I died... You did a lot of of good things, Cloud. Heh. To be honest, I don't think I wouldn't have had the guts to save the entire world like you did." Zack then turned back to face Cloud and smiled.
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Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 12:13 am
Cloud slowly began to look Zack's way and frowned, stopping himself from looking at the other male. "...Zack... I'm far from a hero... Maybe I did save the world... Maybe I did help people... but the whole time, I let people down... You're more of a hero than I ever could be..." He turned away, still not being able to bring himself to look at the dark haired spirit.
"And I did fail you Zack... In more ways than one... Look, right now I'm failing you... Look at what I've become..." Cloud closed his eyes. He wanted to weep, to drown himself in sorrow, to vanish. The discussion brought back the painful memories of seeing Zack's bloody body laying on the ground, the ear piercing cry he let out upon seeing Zack give his last breath, and the months that followed. The memories of how he grew so distant and pulled others from his life. The way he thought no one knew what he was going through... The jerk of a person he had become... All that and more preyed on his mind vividly. He hunched over, pulling his legs to his chest and hugged his knees.
"...I'm nothing more than a failure..."
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Questionable Autobiographer
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Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 12:27 am
Slowly but surely, Cloud was breaking down in front of his eyes. Zack bit his lower lip as if in punishment for not helping Cloud by confronting him like this. He knew that right now, Cloud is remembering that day. Just like how Zack is remembering it; the way the rain felt on his skin, the way those mako-induced eyes stared back at him as he gave his final words to Cloud. Even though he smiled before, bringing up those memories hurt.
"Cloud... Cloud, don't do this to me..." Zack pleaded, his words ending in a soft whisper as he shifted over and wrapped his arms around the other. In the time they were alive, Zack usually comforted Cloud with his words and a smile to boot. Sometimes they would share a high five or a handshake of agreement. Zack would even reach out and mess up some of Cloud's hair. Although now was something completely different. Now... both were in pain , but Zack knew they had to be strong.
"Stop saying that. Stop calling yourself a failure. Stop saying you're not a hero. Just.. stop it alright? I don't know what life you were living, but Cloud... I'm damn proud of you.." he slightly chuckled at his own choice of words and only embraced Cloud tighter.
"Right now, it's got to be even harder for you to realize you're dead. I've been dead for a while Cloud..." he smiled sadly to himself. "I don't think.. you'd know that we'd meet each other again.. And I'm not going to lie. Looking at the past and present. It hurts. It hurts a lot, those memories. But...we have to move forward, alright?"
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Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 7:00 am
Cloud's eyes widened more in shock than anything else as Zack wrapped his arms around him, begging him to stop followed by words of praise. Of anything... he didn't expect that. He didn't expect the other to be proud of him, to know that he was still struggling with his own death, and admit the past hurt...
Those bright mako eyes of his slid shut as Cloud rested his head against the man's chest. He shook for a moment as he fought back the tears, trying to remain strong in front of the other even though he wanted to cry. He wanted to cry and scream and curse, asking someone why things had to be the way they were. For years he wanted to and yet he never once did.
The blonde remained slight all that time as he tried to gather his composure and soon he spoke once again, his voice shaky at first but soon evened out, "...Zack... Despite... all that... I've done... You're still here for me...? You're still my friend..."
He slowly began to lift his head, opening his eyes for the first time in the whole heart wrenching conversation, to look at the other. As his eyes met Zack's, he continued, "...Thank you..."
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Questionable Autobiographer
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Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 9:21 am
Looking back at his friend, Zack looked deeply into those blue eyes and smiled. He knew that Cloud was trying his best to be strong for himself too and fight back those tears that Zack was trying to fight back. Now that he finally saw Cloud looking back at him, he knew it was okay to cry. Still keeping that bright smile on his face, Zack softly shed small tears and nodded.
"Cloud... Of course we're still friends...I'll always be here for you, in life or in death..." he chuckled softly and hugged his friend tightly. He continued to cry for a few moments longer, wondering if Cloud would join him or not. He always wanted to be strong for Cloud...but for now it was alright to appear weak.
"And Cloud... you don't have to thank me.." He nodded and let go of their embrace for a moment. Looking down to meet Cloud's face, he smiled once more. "That's what friends do for each other..."
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Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 9:34 am
Cloud tried his best to keep his composure as he saw the tears stain Zack's cheeks. But soon he too felt tears trickle down his own as he hugged his friend back for a moment. Tears were a sign of weakness and yet, Cloud didn't care at the moment. This time they were relief. Relief from some violent memory that barraged their minds endlessly, a tragic death that tore two friends apart. Cloud welcomed the tears but kept them under control as he looked back at his friend and formed a faint smile.
"...Zack... Maybe... we can start off where we left off..." He said as he gazed out to the garden again. "It... will be a hard road for me... I won't deny it... But... with you here, I'm willing to try anything... to be happy again... and smile like I used to."
Wiping away his tears, turning to Zack, he spoke softly, "...What do you say?"
He reached up with his other hand and dried the tears from Zack's eyes carefully. "...Are you up for the challenge..?"
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Questionable Autobiographer
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Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 9:51 am
Zack looked back at Cloud and modestly blushed as he felt his friend's hand gently wipe his tears. Smiling happily, the dark haired spirit nodded reached up with his hand to slightly mess up Cloud's hair like he used to many years back.
"You know... that sounds like a good plan." Zack smirked, his confidence and energy returning to him. Despite all that has happened, he was glad to know that everything turned out better than he had expected. Before the two spirits fate held yet another journey they must take; starting with finishing up all the loose ends they didn't get to tie in life. Then after that, well, who knows what will happen after. But Zack didn't mind that, in fact, he looked forward to it.
"I am ready... We both are. And we'll help each other along the way, right?" He tilted his head as he asked his question, his puppy ears perking up as he smiled.
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