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 Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 2:00 pm
I've been doing some thinking. For all of a couple minutes, because we've really got to get some more discussion stirred up in here. But in any case, how do you act in the workplace or around your vanilla friends or family compared to how you act in Scene or when around your sub or Dom. Some of you I know live in 24/7, but for the rest of you?
For me, it can depend. I generally revert to being quiet, kind of shy, and even submissive when I'm around tons of new people or in an otherwise unfamiliar situation. But on the flipside, I can be almost a control freak when it comes to people I know well and once I've opened up to someone and gotten to know them, I'm far from subdued. However, I consider myself mostly Dominant.
So let's hear it guys, how do things work with you?
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Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 2:17 pm
Well, for me, I'm usually quiet in real life. Other than that, I'm a normal kid, but when the time comes I could either act like a perfect little sub, or a somewhat rude dom XD But I like being sub more X3 XD Not sure why... Its just more natural for me to take orders, I guess...
My dom side isn't so mean or whatever, its just I like to use more authority. I try to act like a boss, or a teacher, sorta... Nice, but still strict, & full of powar X3 As for sub side is kinda like you'd expect, I guess XD
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Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 2:24 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 2:28 pm
I would LOVE to live it 24/7, though unfortunately for my my stubborn room mate doesn't allow for it.
I'm pretty easy going, but because I've lived a vanilla lifestyle for so long, I find myself being rather assertive with people I know won't argue.
Among my friends I tend to be shy, and go with the flow, with my room mate I tend to put my foot down rather hard, just so he does some work around the house.
If it ever gets to the point where I'm living with my Master, it will be his rules 24/7 and nothing else. It really all depends on who is around me and my mood.
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Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 3:24 pm
I'm not really sure what I'd go under... I guess it changes for me, depending on who I'm around... If I know someone well, they tend to figure out that I'm a little agressive... xDD And some of them go on to figure out that I can be a little bit of a sadist. xDDD But when it comes to people I don't know very well, or at all, that's not a part of me that's very noticeable.. I mean, I come across as someone who won't take too much crap, but I definitely spend a lot of time trying to figure out how not to stand in people's way and mumbling and apologizing too much...
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Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 10:46 pm
I'm a total contradiction. ^^
With myself, my scene, my lifestyle, and at times my own thoughts. One day I might dress boldly but not be able to actually speak anyone due to my anxiety. I have a very strong personality and can be extreeeeeemly stubborn some times (Pfft, always. XD) I'm never the same around any two people. It's not intentional, just how I adapt to things. I learn peoples boundries and take them into consideration and have even gone so far as to instinctually pick up on someone accent or way of speaking/carrying themselves and mirror it when I'm around them. (Over the years this has left me with an interesting way of talking/writing/acting from the things that have stuck with me. I tend to make a sense that isn't.^^) And I'm a big fan of reading/using body language. Things that will make an encounter more comfortable for the other person and nowadays I don't always no I'm doing it till people point it out. I can only assume it's because underneath it all I truly am submissive and a people pleaser.
Any one who knows me well enough wouldn't be the least bit surprised to hear about my lifestyle. My dad would probably laugh and have a gazillion jokes handy for whenever he saw me. But I've learned that to get ahead you have to learn a time and a place for everything. At least that's the way it seems to work out for me. I've lost jobs because of my religion alone and could only imagine how this little tid bit would go over in my small little one or twenty church town. *cringe*
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Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 9:52 am
I'm naturally a more subservient individual. Visiting friends, I give massages and cook, sometimes clean. Same with family. When in school, I enjoy defering to those more knowledgable, though in work/academia is where I'm least submissive, since I can and will take the lead in projects.
I'm technically a 24/7 slave, as I live with my owner and have set rules, etc. But I don't really change personas from one situation to another.
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Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 11:53 am
Personally I haven't been in the scene long enough to see any changes in myself during it. I have noticed that I am alot more open when I am around others who are the same. I also seem to enjoy myself, more relaxed and less defensive about it.
While with my friends I am alot more shy, I only talk to people if I know them fairly well. Very careful on what I say around them.
I dunno it's just odd. I think it's because with my friends I don't feel comfortable talking with them about the life style because they don't really feel it. They are okay with it but I can tell that they don't want to hear the details and such.
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 2:02 pm
It's the same me. I've been a dom since before I knew what a 'dom' was.
I think in all probability, I've been a dom since before I knew what sex was.
It's not even just an extension of my normal personality, it's simply how I am.
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Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 7:09 am
I'm a very different person around my dom as opposed to around others. Around my family, friends, and relative strangers, I'm confident, a bit sarcastic, and very much eager to do things on my own, and my own way. This is the way that they've always known me, and so this is the way that they're comfortable with me. Around others, I tend to lead more than follow.
When I'm with my dom, though, it's great because I get to pass leadership onto someone else. I'm still fairly vocal, but my entire attitude changes so that this person, my dom, is the one and only authority, and his word is my bible. I go from being the one in charge to an eager learner who'll do anything he says with energetic abandon.
Now, both of those aspects of me are very real. I don't play-act for anyone. However, in order for me to even acknowledge someone as my dom, they first have to earn my respect and my trust to a degree. And although trust might not be the most difficult thing (I'm a fairly trusting person. People have called me naive, it's so bad), it's very hard to earn my respect. Unfortunately I've found a lot of those "doms" who think that just because they can yell, "KNEEL, b***h!" they're somehow worthy masters. From everything I've seen, a dom is meant to be there to lead the sub, to help them grow and learn, to help them discover and overcome their limits and become the best they can. It's meant to be a relationship where both parties get something out of it. Too many so-called "doms" don't seem to get this, and I have no respect for them.
That being said, I dunno... I used to hear a stereotype a lot that subs were supposed to be all shy and timid and whatnot all the time, and I know I'm definitely not, especially not with people I don't respect (matters a lot for me). I tend to take charge rather easily in those situations. However, I'm quick to acquiesce to someone who's shown they deserve to lead.
...took me a long time just to say that.
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Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 5:30 pm
Mymiq I'm a very different person around my dom as opposed to around others. Around my family, friends, and relative strangers, I'm confident, a bit sarcastic, and very much eager to do things on my own, and my own way. This is the way that they've always known me, and so this is the way that they're comfortable with me. Around others, I tend to lead more than follow.
When I'm with my dom, though, it's great because I get to pass leadership onto someone else. I'm still fairly vocal, but my entire attitude changes so that this person, my dom, is the one and only authority, and his word is my bible. I go from being the one in charge to an eager learner who'll do anything he says with energetic abandon.
Now, both of those aspects of me are very real. I don't play-act for anyone. However, in order for me to even acknowledge someone as my dom, they first have to earn my respect and my trust to a degree. And although trust might not be the most difficult thing (I'm a fairly trusting person. People have called me naive, it's so bad), it's very hard to earn my respect. Unfortunately I've found a lot of those "doms" who think that just because they can yell, "KNEEL, b***h!" they're somehow worthy masters. From everything I've seen, a dom is meant to be there to lead the sub, to help them grow and learn, to help them discover and overcome their limits and become the best they can. It's meant to be a relationship where both parties get something out of it. Too many so-called "doms" don't seem to get this, and I have no respect for them.
That being said, I dunno... I used to hear a stereotype a lot that subs were supposed to be all shy and timid and whatnot all the time, and I know I'm definitely not, especially not with people I don't respect (matters a lot for me). I tend to take charge rather easily in those situations. However, I'm quick to acquiesce to someone who's shown they deserve to lead.
...took me a long time just to say that.
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Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:29 am
Yeah, I got some off comments before about it, until I got into it a bit more and learned that it was just a stereotype after all :3
There was this joke me and some of my friends had once. All of us were into BDSM (two of them were actually dom and sub), and they were sort of teasing me about how... I dunno, un-sub I apparently was most of the time, and the one guy started pretending he was my dom, and looked at the other sub and said, "I bet my sub could beat up your dom". It was from a picture we'd seen on DA a while back, and we'd all thought it was funny. I laughed a bit. I don't think they meant anything in a bad way x3
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