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What follows is the narrative of the Dwarven expedition The Furnaces of Murder, and their quest to establish Humidhelms, the mightiest of all Dwarven fortresses.

Year 201, Spring

Our group assembled late in the winter and made the arduous journey to the new dig-site. Along the way, I took some time to get to know my fellow members of The Furnaces of Murder. I think I'll begin abbreviating that TFoM, because that's really a lot to write out and I fear I'll need to requisition more ink as is. Our expedition leader, Dee, is rather stingy with the supplies, although I've caught her taking the best of the stockpile for herself when she thinks no one's looking. Moving on, I discovered that we all have a variety of reasons for leaving the safety and comfort of our Mountainhome. Josh mentioned there being a lack of elves to war with as he was sharpening his axe (I must say it now: that one worries me), and I get the impression that Dee was "rewarded" with the post of expedition leader simply to get her out of the hair of her fellow nobles. The others were either recruited for their skills or volunteered to garner respect among their fellow Dwarves and further their personal accomplishments and sense of self-worth. Myself? Doesn't really matter why I joined, because we've just made dig site.

PFish, whose name is stranger than most, suggested breaking down our wagon for parts to begin construction. I'm beginning to think that he will prove to be by far the most useful Dwarf among us. As a reward for his ingenuity, Dee mandated that he be the one to do the work. No good deed goes unpunished in Humidhelm, it seems. I was tasked with digging out our storage areas and meeting hall, as well as sleeping quarters. There is already grumbling at the possibility of having to sleep aboveground among the expedition, so this is a priority to stave off violence down the road. Dee took me aside and made sure that I knew to finish her quarters first, to make them larger than the others, and to put it on an entirely different floor so that the comings and goings of the other Dwarves wouldn't interrupt her beauty sleep. While I admit that such a fine, womanly beard must require a lot of tending, I doubt such vanity will go over well with the other Dwarves. Still, we're an obedient lot, so I took her demands into account as I struck earth. Thus began the fortress, Humidhelms!

While I mined the earth, creating caverns for farming, dining, sleeping, and storage, the other dwarves toiled (or didn't, in Dee's case) in their own ways as well. Josh mentioned something about Elves hating the destruction of trees, and immediately began hacking one down with his battle-axe. It wasn't long before the dig-site was clear of trees. While we were still wondering how to handle such behavior, PFish took the parts from the wagon and made himself a carpenter's shop. He even rigged up a carpenter's mallet, somehow. Blood for Armok, that Dwarf is useful. He took the fallen logs and began fashioning beds, cabinets, chests, and the like. Everytime I poked my head up from my caverns to eat or drink there was more furniture waiting to inhabit the bedrooms and meeting hall. Seeing that inspired me to work faster, and it wasn't long before Dee's quarters were completed. They were opulent, far more than a Dwarf could ever need... and she deemed them "livable for now". She also demanded an office and a dining room. By Armok, I'll do it if it means she'll use that office to actually DO something around here. The other Dwarves were much more satisfied with their meager quarters, simply grateful to be sleeping underground (as any good Dwarf should be). It took a deal of time, hauling all of the furniture PFish had made into the rooms, but even as we kept to these simple tasks, that dwarf astounded us again. When one of the other Dwarves, Fen I think, mentioned that it just didn't feel like home without great stone doors welcoming us to the meeting hall, PFish whipped up a masonry shop and wrought doors from the very rock I had left lying around as I dug. If this expedition succeeds, I believe he will deserve most of the credit.

Year 201, Summer

Our first season has passed, and the watchword of the day now is "self-sufficiency". We've been promised a caravan late in the fall, but that's a long way off and we need to make sure that we have ample supplies to last us. Thanks to Josh's campaign against the hitherto unseen Elves and everything they stand for, I doubt we'll be running out of wood anytime soon. Kraun has proven himself to be adept in the kitchen, although he has mentioned that there are others that could make better alcohol. None of us have any skill at all, though, so the duty falls to him to provide us with that delicious, delicious drink. Dee commissioned the construction of a well, for "ambiance", which seems to be the only purpose it will serve since it goes built but unused as long as there is ample booze to be consumed. That drink is the oil that wets the gears of progress, my friends!

Speaking of progress, in digging out the dining hall, I had come across an ample amount of native copper. Not knowing what to do with it, I had set it aside at the time. We've since built up the facilities for metalworking, a huge step forward for any dwarf fortress. Now all we need is a skilled blacksmith and we'll be set. Instead of that, though, we've settled for ... me. As soon as the bare necessities were dug out, I was taken out of the caves and put to work in the metalworks. My first task was to make a sword, as the one called Desi was complaining non-stop about the lack of swords in the place. I get the impression that the one sword I made for him to wield won't be nearly enough to make him happy, but it should at least serve to quiet him so he'll get back to his fields and tend his crops.

Due to an oversight on our part, we ran out of bolts for Fen's crossbow. I watched the Dwarf beat a fox to death with the weapon when it ranged too close to our fortress during his patrol. Notes to self: get PFish to make more bolts, do not anger Fen.

Although everything was going smoothly for a time, and the fortress was on its way to being stocked for the fall and winter months, our work has been interrupted more often of late by the demands of Dee. At first it was something simple: a pair of bee statues to spruce up the meeting hall. Now, though, she is having us build a great Wall around the entrance to the caverns. I fear that she has been talking to Josh too much, and that his tales of Elven ambushes are getting to her. She's getting to be as bad as he is, except that where he meets the prospect of a long-ear attack with savage glee, she seems terrified and is doing everything in her power to get us to ensure the safety of the fortress (I'm quite certain that when she says "the fortress" in that context, she means "Dee").

More reasonable, though, have been her directions to Josh to cut the trees in a specific direction. It came to our attention that the caravan would never be able to make it through the thick forest come fall, so Josh's "slash and burn" method of baiting the Elves is a stroke of luck in that regard, since he's managed to clearcut a path for the wagon in a single season of work. I just hope that we can keep finding uses for his unearthly hatred of Elves, because I get the impression that he'd be a dangerous one to leave idle for too long.

The Wall has taken up much of our summer, and it still isn't done. PFish had become overworked (and who can blame the poor Dwarf. He's been behind every major project so far), and took a break; without his direction the project came to a halt. He's feeling better now, and we're well on our way to appeasing Dee and getting back to real work soon (I hope).

Year 201, Autumn.

The Wall has been completed, and I must admit that I feel safer working within its confines. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all. Still, I don't think we've heard the last of this, as I see Dee looking up at the Wall, seemingly dissatisfied.

We haven't run out of bolts for Fen in a while, as the stains of blood on his crossbow remind us what happens if we do. I've been making bolts out of the copper I mined up for him to use against live targets, and PFish has been keeping a steady stream of wood bolts flowing from the workshop for him to practice with. He's gotten rather exceptional with the weapon, I must say.

Kraun speaks more often of wishing someone else would run the brewery, and as he scares the beard off me, I've been suggesting to Dee that we ask the caravan if they know of anyone that can aid us. The way Kraun walks around with that cleaver makes me think that sooner would be better than later.

[the writing continues in a different color ink]

Well, a couple of months have passed, and the season is at an end. Winter is at our door, but it turned out to be an eventful autumn. The caravan has come and gone. We picked up some fine Dwarven brew, as our stockpiles were running low. We also inquired as to whether they could send someone from Mountainhome that could aid us in producing our own quality drink. When we offered them some of ours out of hospitality, they promised they would send someone right away. I'm pretty sure they dumped the ale in the dog cages when we weren't looking and used their own stock for the rest of their stay. They couldn't complain about the food, though, and in fact they took some of our extra meals with them in trade for a variety of goods.

One thing that the caravan mentioned was that they had a difficult time getting to us, as the ground was uneven and some of the trees we had cut down were regrowing. Hearing that his hard work was being undone, Josh flew into a rage. He demanded that we build a road out of wood, "a road we can paint with the blood of elves... when I find the buggers". He even volunteered to help, he was so enthused at making a pathway of fallen trees to further taunt his nemeses. Since we needed a road and he would work on it, we all agreed to the idea. We really don't have much labor to spare.

A month later, some new settlers arrived from Mountainhome! Oh, we were all excited to see some fresh faces, as the better part of a year with just each other was begin to test even our mighty Dwarven patience. Nine people made the journey, and I've gotten to know some of them.

JB, Brewmaster - He was the one that was sent to us when the caravan made it home. Although he is a skilled brewer and has already produced some fine ale for us, I can't help but notice that he brought some gadgets with him that have nothing to do with his craft. Simple as I am, I can't fathom what they would be for.

Maxi, Deli Meat Slicer - I'm still not sure what a "deli" even is, but at least it means that we now have a skilled butcher. Kraun was doing a fine job, but with his attention split as it was, it always seemed that either the kitchens were unattended or meat was left long enough to rot in the butchery. It just occured to me that I haven't gotten a good look at this dwarf's face. Curious, as he's been here for a while. Must look into how he manages that.

Anna, Maid - I guess when she showed up in a maid outfit with a kitten-ears headband, we should've known what she was about. Still, we all breathed a collective sigh of relief as she took over the fortress cleaning duties, allowing us to get back to more dwarvenly pursuits like mining and brewing and fashioning things from rock.

Jayne, Dog Wrangler - I'm not gonna lie: I figured this one would be useless. Yes, we set out with a host of dogs (we figured it would be cheap meat in an emergency), but really, how useful can a dog be? Well, she set to work immediately, building kennels and disappearing with the dogs for days at a time. When they came out, they were as obedient as any dwarf and took up guard positions or helped Fen when he went patrolling for more meat. I don't know what magic she uses to accomplish all of this, and I don't care so long as it keeps up. We've got a crop of puppies growing as we speak, and more cannon-fodd- erm, war dogs would be nice to keep around.

Damion, Fisher - Didn't really get to know him, but Kraun seems delighted at the prospect of fresh fish to work with. Damion has mentioned that he can both catch and clean them, so all Kraun will have to do is cook them. Those two should make a good pair, and more variety in our food is never a bad thing. No matter how good it is, plump helmet stew is really starting to get old. Gotta say, though, now that we have some good brew, Kraun's learned to make a mean beer-battered roast. Hopefully he'll whip some more up soon (too scared to put in a request).

Year 203, Winter

Oh, those poor, hippie fools. The elves brought another caravan, flying another banner of peace. I guess they wanted to give peace, love, and harmony another chance. We didn't even bother trying to restrain Josh this time. He didn't have to say a word; when they saw him heft his axe, murder in his eyes, and start heading for the trade depot, they dropped everything and ran again. I hope they were intimidated enough that they won't send troops, but we're ready for whatever they throw at us now.

The retractable roof is still a work in progress. Although JB has the mechanical portion of it rigged up, we've had a difficult time keeping PFish and his team supplied with enough wood to build the actual structure. Dante's metalworks goes through a lot of wood for their smelters and forges. We've also been having a hard time with our food and drink supplies, as Desi's militia has taken all of his time, and his replacement simply lacks his touch in the fields. Poor harvests and an increasing number of mouths to feed had dwindled our supplies to dangerous levels. In a way, the elven caravan was a blessing from Armok, as they brought a lot of fruit with them that JB can brew and enough meat to keep Kraun busy for a while.

Our troops are all outfitted in the finest steel armor we can make, so Dante deserves a break. We'll spend that time stockpiling wood and finishing the fortress roof to appease Dee, at least until she comes up with another "special project". I've heard her asking PFish if statues come in larger sizes...

We've also had another dwarf possessed, who came out of the experience with new knowledge and skills. Darth seems to have gone on some sort of spirit quest, as he disappeared for a few days and emerged with an exquisite crown of bone, wrought with skill beyond that of mortals. Since then, he's been making masterpiece totems and adding menacing bone spikes to pretty much anything he can get his hands on. This is really starting to feel like a FORTRESS with his handiwork around. It would be nice if one of the practical dwarves could have such a transfiguration, but that's hoping too much. Dante and PFish will likely have to achieve the height of dwarven craftskill through time and hard work.

Year 203, Spring

Another wave of immigrant dwarves brought something truly novel with them: democracy. When they arrived, someone (I have yet to find out who, but if I get my hands on them...) organized a fortress-wide vote for the position of mayor. It seems that Dee has graduated from being the expedition leader, a title recognizing her status as the financial backer of this endeavor but little more, to the full-fledged overlord of our increasingly populous fortress. She has, of course, taken it as a sort of divine mandate, a confirmation of her authority. The edicts began almost immediately, starting with a commissioning of statues for the personal palace she calls a bedroom, and progressing to the creation of a jewel workshop manned by a few randomly chosen noobs to keep her provided with pretty trinkets. Unfortunately for the rest of us, Wulf, in his role as Fortress Moderator, has declared that her policies are law and that any who violate them will be faced with the ban-hammer. I think we're doomed.

Vahn still hasn't recovered from his wounds, but Desi's sword-squad has been hard at work bettering their fighting prowess. Another kobold staged a break-in, and this time Kael caught up to him first. It required a small search party to find the thing's severed lower half. I pity the first elves that arrive with any intent toward aggression. Okay, I don't, but I feel like I should.

Desi and Cog have been increasingly at odds during their training, probably due to Cog's lack of SWORD. He holds his own in combat, but I think this is more of a philosophical difference than a practical one. I don't think it will be long before they part ways.

Year 203, Summer

I don't know if someone demanded a recount, or what the reason was, but we had another vote. Dee won again, and remains mayor. You know, this dwarven democracy thing doesn't make much sense to me. It's not a particularly dwarfish thing to do, really. I mean, the supreme leader of our race is a king, an unelected monarch who rules with an iron fist (quite literally in the case of King Sledgefist Hammerale, may he rest in peace). If anything, this practice seems peculiarly human in origin, and while I'd be all for abolishing it immediately, Wulf and his hammer say otherwise.

As I predicted, Cog and Desi have parted ways, and much of the summer has been spent reorganizing and significantly expanding the fortress military.
- Wulf has appropriated a number of dwarves (seven, at the moment) to serve as sub-moderators, since he can't be everywhere at once and doesn't want to miss a single ban-hammering opportunity. They are each empowered with his authority to enforce the law (which is now whatever Dee says it is). They each wield a ban-hammer of their own, and they have all taken to wearing pieces of Darth-wrought bone armor to better intimidate rule-breakers. Wulf himself maintains his full suit of pristine steel plate as a symbol of his office.
- Cog has formed "Cog's Irregulars", a group of dwarves that use weapons other than swords. He continues to wield his mining pick, and has recruited Ryke and Gamma, both macedwarves. They have a reputation as some of the most brutal and violence-prone dwarves in the fortress, and are looking to expand their ranks with those of a similar mindset.
- One of the newer dwarves, Reiko, formed a squad of unarmed combatants. He, Fox, and Sieg have all become elite wrestlerdwarves, and they continue to train daily. Although they originally intended to go into combat unarmored as well, an explanation of just what a goblin crossbow or elven longbow could do before they ever got close enough to unleash their martial prowess convinced them that a compromise was in order. They all wear leather armor, made by dwarves who were instructed in ancient techniques of leathercrafting by Darth himself.

We also now have more war dogs than we know what to do with. Jayne is thrilled, but I'm worried about how she'll react after the first invasion, since we'll be using her dogs as distractions and soft cover. The casualty rate will be horrific. In happier news, Anna and Damion have had two babies (which we'll try not to use as distractions or soft cover), our first such blessing for the fortress. Anna brings them to work with her as she tidies up bedrooms and workshops, and they don't seem to hinder her ability to work at all (except when she misplaces one. Then she gets nothing done until it's found).

On the civilian side of things, many of our original dwarves have become leaders (whether that was their intent or not). PFish is now the foreman of a whole crew of useful dwarves, and although Dante still does the actual metalworking himself, the rest of the process is handled by underlings. JB still spends a lot of his time brewing, so he has passed on some of his engineering knowledge to an apprentice, but still enjoys doing it himself when he can be spared from the brewery. Josh, oddly enough, has developed a zealous group of followers with his radical views. We refuse to provide them with axes as well, so they've taken it upon themselves to follow him around and pick up the wood he fells. They also, of course, are fanatically opposed to elvenkind, and want nothing more than to get their hands on one, even though they lack Josh's combat training. I'll never understand fandwarves.

Fen was injured in a hunting accident. Another dwarf, Impact, has stepped up to fill his role while he recovers. They were practically interchangable anyway.

Anyway, it's been a busy summer, and I suspect it'll stay fast-paced into autumn as we prepare for another dwarven caravan. If those elves do ever show up in force, I think we have little to fear now.

Year 203, Autumn

This season marked the return of the dwarven caravan. Iron and steel for everyone! Trading more stolen elf cloth and Darth's masterfully crafted totems got us everything we wanted from them and more. We requested more of the same for next year, and sent them off with a hearty farewell.

A new threat presented itself early in the season: a goblin attempting to kidnap one of our children. We let Reiko and company handle this one, and when Reiko caught it he promptly put it in a submission hold, gouged its eyes out, and then choked it to death. The goblins escalated things by sending a full raiding party, complete with a goblin marksman, a month later. Desi rushed out to meet the threat as the civilians hurried inside. Even Vahn leapt out of bed and joined the fray, fully recovered. He earned his first kill that day, and Desi added several notches to his sword. Ryugi and Kael accounted for the rest of the goblin victims.

The attack showcased our military superiority and raised morale, but it also brought up the need for more organization to avoid such ambushes in the future. Desi and Reiko have begun collaberating on the strategy our fortress will take against invasion (Cog's input for how to handle such attacks was simply "Get meaner. Hurr."), and they've come up with a multiple phase plan.
-We are limiting the number of dwarves that have to do jobs outside. Only specific dwarves will be given tasks that can take them outside, and the rest will stay within the fortress walls.
-The dwarves that do have outdoor jobs (PFish and his crew, Josh and his groupies, as well as Anna and Sunny for post-combat salvage operations) are being given personal guard-dogs to give them time to escape if they're attacked in the wild.
-A new barracks is being built outside the front doors of the fortress so that the squads housed there can quickly react to a threat before they breach our walls. The old barracks will be converted into a hospital for wounded dwarves.

They have more in the works, but organization and construction should take us into the spring.

In other news, Dante has been certified as a Legendary Armorsmith by the Dwarven Armorers' Guild, after rediscovering long-lost methods of superior dwarven blacksmithing. He has since begun reacquiring all of the armor he has previously forged so that his underlings can melt it down and he can reforge it with his superior technique. Our champions will truly be invincible now.

Finally, tragedy has struck Humidhelms. We suffered our first loss, discovering the hard way that Fen and Impact weren't actually as interchangable as we thought. We sent Impact out to hunt, as we had done with Fen so many times before, and found the dwarf torn into pieces with bear tracks leading away from the massacre. Reiko tried to track down the bear to wrestle it to death, but it had left the forest around our fortress before he could find it. We've built him a coffin and dug out a tomb. With any luck, it will remain unfilled.

I hope this isn't a foreshadowing of things to come. Armok grant us a safe winter.

Year 205, Winter

We are besieged!

Okay, I'm being a little overdramatic. I know the goblins thought of it as a siege, since that's all they could shout the entire time, but a squad of twelve goblins does not a siege make. Our preparations for elven attack served us well against the goblins, as all of our citizens scrambled indoors, our soldiers scrambled outdoors, and our Meatshields scrambled straight at the enemy ranks. Desi and Cog's squads followed closely behind the Meatshields, while Reiko, Fox, and Sieg circled around back and wrapped their marksgoblins into pretzels.

It was a glorious battle. We suffered the loss of two meatshields early in the fight, and a few more were wounded in the melee, but when Desi arrived the fight was as good as over. They fought at a pond just outside the fortress walls, and I saw Desi charge at a goblin and use his sword to send that poor creature launching across the water to land at the other side a mere corpse. The fight continued much that way, as the invaders were cut down in short order and our non-Meatshield combatants suffered no wounds at all. Clean-up took significantly longer, prompting us to give Sunny an increase to his janitorial staff. Dante's workers began melting down the inferior goblin weapons and armor so that it could be made into vastly superior dwarven weapons and armor.

All-in-all, at the cost of two Meatshields, I'd say the day was a rousing success. Morale at the fortress has never been higher. With any luck, those pointy-eared hippy elves will return come Spring. They won't know what hit 'em!