well i am going to be 15 and me and my mom have already spent two days searching for the perfect five string bass for my birthday. well we found it and now i really want it. mom decides it is not a good present because i can't use it for jazz bad any better than if i repaired my old five string. so now i get no party*no party equaled my choice of present* and no gift*braking point of no party. now my mom's depression meds are failing so she is taking it all out on me. so now if i do any little thing that makes me seem disapointed she either gives me mean sarcasim or she starts a pitty party about how she has failed me then her life and how she wished she married jack... but i can't do anything about it without hurting her worse. she has said a couple times things that are like thoughts of suicide. so not only am i a spoled rat mad because i have no birthday and i should be happy to be eating but i have to take care of my depressed mom
lastly i want to be able to cry about it but i can't until friday8today tuesday*
i am busy with church stuff and i need to be setting a good example and mom will be at all of those places i have no time alone to let it lose so this is my rant
worst birthday
mom sad
can't even cry
only one friend left in town that i could talk too but he would probibly not understand
and i am still in love with my best friend and my ex but niether like me like that