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Sorry, but this is rather long sweatdrop

It was the summer of 'o8 that I got my wish come true. For months I had begged my mother (my parents are divorced and I live with my mother) if I could go see the concert (I'll keep the band name to myself. Surely you understand). It was almost my birthday and my mother thought it nice if she gave me the surprise early since the concert was in July and my birthday in August. Well, I'll just say I was majorly surprised. My mother is usually a no late night outing kind of mom, so I was really surprised when she gave me two tickets to the concert. One for me, one for my oldest cousin (let's call him Isaac). We were both huge fans of that band.

So, on the night of the concert, cousin Isaac picked me up two hours early so we could eat and stuff. We chatted and browsed the many shops along the way to the event. Isaac bought me a poster of the band and a tour t-shirt. To be honest, he was my favorite cousin. So nice unlike my other cousins, who are all boys except for the one girl cousin.

Anyway, it was while eating hamburgers that I met him. Let's call him Jack. So Jack was obviously just another face in the crowd for a while before Isaac caught him looking at the two of us teasing each other and throwing our food at one another. Anyway, like the dork I was, I waved to the guy. I mean, I'm not just going to ignore someone who was watching me, right? I am not that type of person. The guy looked away after laughing as Isaac put mustard on my nose, but anyway, I'll spare you the nerdy details of our food fight, because this is a different story.

It was time for the concert when I bumped into someone in he crowd (everyone was standing up because there were no chairs). I excused myself and when I looked up it was Jack again. He just smiled and said "It's okay." That's when I realized my cousin Isaac left me. I told myself I'd kill him later (not literally of course). I pointed this out to Jack and he said I could stand by him until I saw my cousin.

Well, I had to stay with this guy for the whole concert because Isaac didn't show up. So, after ten minutes of looking for him when the riot ended, Jack invited me to have cotton candy at the entrance of the concert hall because that's where everyone would exit and then I'd find Isaac. We ended up loosing track of time. We talked about ourselves for a while.

I learned that the guy was eighteen and had a toy train collection with about 125 trains all together. I also learned he worked part time at my favorite small cafe and bar. It was strange, because I've never seen him before. After pointing that out, he said he only worked weekends and I told him I never saw him because I was at my fathers every weekend. Anyway, I learned his hobby was making music with anything he could think of from toothpicks to plain old tubes. We talked until my cousin finally found me. Me and Jack said goodbye to each other, but I did not know that we would meet again.

Time and time again we would see one another when we least expected it, and we grew close. Closer than any parent would allow their child. No, it wasn't anything like we were sleeping with each other or anything, it was just we knew each others lives like we had been friends for a decade instead of half a year. He knew me inside and out and I knew him better than his closest friend. Neither of us could explain the attraction. It wasn't like love or something like that. I thought it was curiosity. Jack thought it was just what happened in such a small world.

Of course I was stupid enough to accept an invitation to go to his house. Alone. I told my mother I'd be going to me friends house for a while. she seemed to believe me. Of course, she called my friend, whose mother was "out" at the time, and we arranged it. The friend, let's call her Eve, knew about Jack. Anyway, I left for my friends and then doubled back and headed to Jack's place. I knew the root because sometimes Jack would drive me home from school and he would stop at his house for a moment for his work clothes. So I soon ended up at his front door. I'll get straight to the interesting part.

So we were just sitting watching a movie when he left for a drink. When he sat back down I didn't notice straight away he began to creep closer to me every five minutes. By the end of the movie he could have wound his arm around me. I began to get uncomfortable and told him I should get home and was going to stand up before it happened. He pulled me back down and kissed me hard as if it was the end of the world, except it wasn't loving or anything like that. It was forceful, like he was commanding me to kiss him back. It was like he had this sudden urge to just kiss me. After that I left and he didn't say anything or do anything else.

A couple months later, after I had gotten over what happened that night (I couldn't sleep for three days; I was up all night thinking about it) I agreed to go to his home again. It didn't register that he lived alone. Anyway, this time it was far more than one kiss before I left. He managed to persuade me to go into his room and sit on his bed while he looked for something. While I just sat there, I didn't realize he had gotten onto the bed with me until he gripped my shoulders. He pushed me down and started groping.

I'll spare you the details. I'll just say that I did say no, I did struggle and I did make him hesitate for a second, but of course, me being scrawny and full of it, he over powered me. Obviously.

I hope you realize what had happened. I consider this rape. Well, it obviously was since I am no longer a virgin thanks to Mr. Jack. Anyway, that was almost one year ago. I remember that day clearly. August fifteenth, 2oo8. About 8:45 p.m. I was almost fourteen years old that day. Eleven days until I was fourteen. What a birthday gift, huh? Ever since then I haven't seen Jack except for the few days a month I pass by him at his new job; working at a grocery store. I have the chore of shopping with my mom, so obviously I see him. My mom doesn't know about that day. Neither does my father or boyfriend. the only person who knows is my best friend. Her name's Ally for now. For days afterward, almost a week and a half, I didn't sleep. Not once. It took all of my strength to accept the sleeping pills my mom gave me once she found out my sleeping deprivation. I still sometimes stay up at night, fearing his face. I am scared at night that he might haunt me in my dreams, that the event might become clear in my mind again and again, which it does most of the time. Even last night I remembered vividly the end of it, which was painful let me tell you.

Main Questions:
If this happened to you, what would you do?
I know it's not my fault, but I can't help but think I brought this on. Anyone think I could have done anything to prevent it?
How can I tell my parents?
Ally tells me to tell the police, but I don't want him to be fined because I fear that he will know it was me and come after me again.
I told a counselor some things about this and she told me to get tested. That was months ago and I still haven't. What should I say?

If anyone has an answer, please tell me.

Seconded.

Please don't think me rude or shallow for not replying earlier than this. I edited the post to say that I did struggle (of course I didn't want too have sex; I was only thirteen! And I wasn't a skank) and say no. Anyways, after thinking about it, I realized you (Lorien and Nikolita) were right. So, without my parents knowing, I went to get tested.

Of course, my doctor chastised me for not coming sooner, saying that if I had an STD or got AIDs or something it could have spread and become larger and more infectious or whatever, but thankfully (after like a week [couldn't go over to the office every second day; still living with mommy here]) I got to my doctor and he said that I didn't have herpes or AIDs or anything, but I did have chlamydia. Looked it up, saw the symptoms and told him that I didn't experience anything. He replied that sometimes you don't notice anything, or that the symptoms are so minor, there's no need to call attention to them.

Luckily nothing happened more. So all I have to do now is take some antibiotics and hope for the best. And the best is getting cured and hoping that "Jack" will not rape anyone else ...

And yes, I did tell my parents. Well, I had to, because being my mother, she automatically has the authority of coming into my room when I am not home. She found the pills and confronted me when I got home. I lied and said I was keeping them for a friend, then she accused me of being some pill popper, faking some illness and managing to persuade the pharmacists to get me some pills to use. Out of fear of the pills getting taken away and thrown out, I had to tell her. She was understanding, but she could never understand unless she was forced to have sex with someone she trusted with her life. So much for trust.

Mom told the police, no one told my father or brothers (as they are all way too protective of me [damn you, pint-sized curse!!!!]). So, the only people that know are (in order) my friend "Eve," my doctor, my mother and then my one year old sister who had overheard, but she doesn't matter. Oh and me obviously. And poof! Life was (almost) back to normal! ^_^ Haven't gone to a concert since. Unless you count that one time I saw Tragically Hip ... So all turned out well in the end ... Hopefully.

Thanks for the help!!!!

Well, last time my mother let me in on what's happening, she told me the complaint is on file. They said they had a similar report a few months ago with a guy that had the same description, but a different name. If it's "Jack" again,. I'd bet he changed his name. Screw it, the name he gave me was probably false, too. He told me his name was Brandon. I don't know what he changed his name to, but I don't need to get more stressed. So ... yeah ^_^

I do hope that if he does this to another girl and the report comes in, they go after him. So other than that, I don't really know much ... sweatdrop