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Did you ever wonder why everything is the way it is? Ever stop and think about what things would be like if something else happened? Ever wish that you didn't do anything so that way maybe something good could happen for you instead of something else for someone else?

I've wondered why things are the way they are and it seems that it isn't the choices that we ourselves make, its the choices of the people around us that shape our lives.

I pondered long about what would happen if instead of doing one thing I do another. And what would come from it. But the past is past and we can't change it no matter how hurtful, shameful, or humiliating.

I've wished so many times that instead of helping somebody else, I actually stopped and helped myself. Maybe then something good might come. But then there would be sorrow on another's shoulders.

In the end it all comes down to a choice we make and a choice they make. Your choice could be to save somebody's life, or to end it. Or it could be to help yourself or help another, whatever it is you have to think through what could happen. Acting on impulse doesn't help anyone at all. Well, at least not you in any case.

In our lives we live our story and die. No matter what you think or believe, thats how it is. there's no immortality, or living for a cure, because death is an inevitable predator that will engulf us all, and there is no point in running. How we live our stories is our own choice. But to fully understand it you must look at your characters.

Hero/Heroine: The person who is always on everyone's good side and takes care of the problems.

The Villain: The person causing the problems, and making everyone else suffer

The Hated: The people who sacrifice their own happiness to give others happiness. And in the end live and die alone because of their choice, solving problems, finding the unseen solutions that the heroes are too blind to see.

The Loved: The people who are the supposed good guys but are cheating behind everyone. leaving small lies that cascade together onto one another.

The Blind: People who can not see the things that others can. Often not literally blind, but just ignorant of things around them.

The Observant: People who notice all of the details in their story and others. Not easily distracted, perceived as mind readers, and are undoubtedly one of the most dangerous people in the story.

The Shadows: The final people in the story mentioned are the shadows, the lurking, unknown threats to your life and others. they seem harmless when you first meet, but in a few years, like a succubus they lure you in and put a dagger at your throat.

I have no certain idea why i wrote all of this, but I'm quite sure that it might help at least one person.

Religion to alot of people is just something they do with their family. But for to most people is something that no matter how hard life is for them its their looking point and I had to voice my opinion on it.

Atheists don't choose to believe in God or any other deity as far as my comprehension goes, but thats not my area of expertise. and when I seem them every now and then I see alot more than that, most atheists I see are on the Virge of suicide because their life has been completely screwed up for them because of their beliefs and nobody was there for them and when I see that I think to myself that must really suck. So every now and then when I see somebody like that I ask them if they're an Atheist about 67% of the time they say yes. All I ask after that is why they have that belief and it amazes me as to so many reasons why people are atheists and it actually compels me to figure out what atheism really is. I try to help all of these people when I see them by showing them that faith through god is one way were if you believe you know there's always somebody there for you. I never try to push the religion onto anyone i just explain it. And sometimes they convert and other times they don't, but all the time they keep more of an opened mind about it all and none of them has committed suicide. I'm not saying all Atheists are suicidal. and all atheists who aren't please I'd like to talk to you as to figure out some of your reasons for being an atheist.

Monotheistic people all have their own specified religion but they're really all the same, in their eyes there's one god that rules everything. and I really enjoy speaking with these kind of people about their religion because its just so interesting. and whenever i find out something new about a religion its just a little pick up for me because I can actually understand people a little more.

A few weeks back I got a letter back form a 14 year old atheist girl who i found literally ready to commit suicide, she had her note written and everything and was on her way home to hang herself when i saw her. I asked her what was up and she said that her life sucked and that she's had some bad family problems because her family were atheists but she wanted to be a Christian. I told her that she didn't need to listen to her parents that whatever she believed was what was important and recently her letter found its way to me and I completely forgot about it until now but she thanked me. She told me that that day she was going home to commit suicide and that I stopped her by helping her open up to Christianity which at the time i didn't really know she was suicidal, and it made me feel a little better that I helped the world somehow. But moving on....

Polytheistic people, we are more complex than everyone else because our beliefs carry so many gods and goddesses that we can't count them all. Me personally i don't get bothered by Christians trying to convert me because I find the debate pretty interesting to see if they can convince me enough to want to change. Others of my beliefs however prefer their own gods to Jesus, or Allah, or any other gods (please excuse me if you find any of that offensive) So alot of the times we like to be left alone. my personal story about Polytheism is that i converted from Catholicism at a pretty young age eager to prove my own beliefs but I was hot headed and closed minded back then and when i opened my mind i really got a good sense of what everything was about.

looking over all of this I would think that all of us (who believe in god/gods) are the same. But then again our beliefs always make us unique and thats what I love abotu religion so much that everyone gets a chance to voice their own thoughts on it. Atheists I'm sorry we're alike too but your beliefs are what keeps you from alot, but then again at the same time it gives you more things that we can do.

Thanks for reading I hope some of you guys learned something or just plain enjoyed my thoughts on this.

You remember the last time you made a mistake? And the only thing you had to do to fix it was apologize? And if not that then assure yourself or somebody else you'd fix it as soon as you could? things always start out that easy, but what I want to figure out is why things get so much more difficult. Because when you get yelled at for something that you didn't even do, apologizing can be quite difficult.

Relationships Part 1:
When you make a mistake in a relationship sometimes its easy to fix as long as your not a jerk to the person. but as soon as you make the wrong comment on anything you're finding yourself talking alone again, without the comfort of anyone listening. Alot of the times you can't just apologize to make it better you just have to walk away hoping that maybe things could get better.

Jobs Part 1:
A mistake in the workplace is probably one of the worst mistakes made. Once you make one big enough you don't have a job and when you don't have a job you have no income, and eventually no home or anything to yourself. So we all just end up biting our tongues even though we know our boss needs to be told off, and just keep walking.


Friends Part 1:
Never screw up a friendship, it may start with a small thing but it can always blow up into something alot bigger and end up with you not having anyone period. A stupid joke can cause alot of these problems. That's why we have to watch what we say to our friends even though we know they need to hear somethings we have to keep our mouths shut.


Relationships Part 2:
When you do end up making a mistake your partner will let you know without telling you. Normally it'll be in subtle responses like their not wanting to talk at the moment, or not returning your calls, or going out with their friends a little more often than normal for no particular reason. And that's when you realize that you screwed something up. And the best thing to do is wait until they're cooled off and take them somewhere private to talk. And you have to tell them that you're sorry, and if that doesn't make things better right away then give them some time instead of constantly pounding them.

Jobs Part 2:
After you screwed up in your job you'll normally notice right away with your boss normally shouting at you, firing you or just shaking their head like they're disappointed with you. And when you're walking back from their office to your station its like everyone of your peers knows what happened and they show it by disregarding everything you say. Its like you don't even matter anymore.

Friends Part 2:
After losing your friends because of something stupid you feel alone in the world and you can't really feel any better. But you still walk around with a fake smile and fake laugh to prevent anyone from noticing. You can try to apologize all you want but really the best thing to do is just wait and try not to talk. and if they want to be friends again after awhile they'll talk to you.

Relationships Part 3:
After it all when you finally realize that you want them back you go out to do anything for them. even if that includes running 4 miles from your home in the rain to apologize. But the thing is that even if you do get the chance to apologize they don't always accept, and you're left with quite a cold and long way home. And then there's times that they're not even at home and your left there wondering if it really even mattered. But finally it comes don't to the last words you say to them that really matter.
"I miss you" "I love you" "I'm so sorry for it all" "I'm leaving"

Jobs Part 3:
At the end of the day and you get up and get ready to walk out you look back and notice that your normal group of coworkers are calling your name to go out for dinner with them. And it hits you that yeah they were a little bit mean earlier but that's because of your mistake and that they were only giving you what you needed. And you smile and shake your head instead. "No thanks guys, I've got a few other things I need to take care of..."

Friends Part 3:
When it finally comes down to you seeing them again face to face and you're ready to just keep walking and they stop you to talk. Asking what happened between you, and why can't things be like they used to be. The only thing you can say is that you made a stupid mistake that broke it all. And as they're walking away your turn around and call their name and ask them if they want to hang out that night.


Well, that's my thoughts on all those things and i really think that's the way it should be even though its not. Because everything would be alot better than what they are. Oh and by the way I'm sorry guys.