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Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 3:25 pm
Lately I've been finding myself on the floor more often, holding my knees and crying. It'll come at weird moments too, I'll be perfectly fine, then I'll look out the window and I'll collapse and begin crying. I don't know why, it just happens. During those times I have this weird ache in my chest, like something is empty.
Then I'm having these weird dreams. They're baby dreams. In each dream I've been pregnant but something goes wrong. In one I felt the actual heartbeat when I pressed my fingers where the baby was. Then I woke up and my hand flew to my stomach, when there was no heartbeat I began to cry.
Another was I was a surrogate mother and I gave birth to about four baby girls, but when I went to go say goodbye to my little blue eyed, blonde haired angels they wouldn't let me.
I don't know why I'm feeling this way or having these dreams, but any advice is welcome to make them stop.
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Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 6:50 am
Well when did they start? Was it after you and your ex had your falling out? Because it may just be that you feel more alone than usual, now, and you need someone/something to keep you company.
Have you been thinking a lot lately about children/infants while you're awake? If you are, then maybe that's just carrying over into your sleep.
Also, there's the fact that those are just depressing things to have happen. I've had crappy dreams before, and the rest of the day afterwards I just felt sad and alone. I couldn't imagine having a vivid dream and really believing I had a child only to wake up and find out that they weren't real. That would hurt.
Since i'm not sure of the cause, I can't really be sure of what would help you. Try sleeping with a stuffed animal at night, though. Not a small one. A really big one. Then during the day when you're at home, carry around a smaller stuffed animal with you that you can hold no matter where you're at. I know it sounds silly, but having something there with you all the time can help a lot to make someone feel better. Make it a stuffed animal that comes with a happy memory. Maybe one that a good friend gave to you.
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Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 6:07 pm
They started way before I broke up with my ex. It's been happening for about a month or two now, the dreams. It's horrible. I don't think about it much during the day, but when I go to sleep the dreams come. My babies are never there when I wake up and I can't help but cry.
I don't know why I end up on the floor crying, it comes at the most random of times. I don't really want to think too hard, I just prefer to be numb to it.
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Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 6:11 am
Think it might be depression? =(
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Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 1:46 pm
That's what I'm scared of. I don't want it to be, and I'm usually a very happy person.
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Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 9:12 pm
Have you tried speaking to your parents about it? I'm not saying that you should, because that's not a decision for me to make, and i'm not saying you're sick. But i'm usually closed up and keep to myself, but I don't believe i'm depressed. I just hold a VERY strong dislike for most people. Maybe you should talk to your parents about it and go find a doctor to get a list of symptoms? Have you ever thought about suicide or the like?
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