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 Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 8:21 pm
I'm going to begin with a story to help explain where I am coming from.
I have had a male friend for years who has always been "flamboyant." People have always thought he was gay. He was hurt when people said such things, as he was pretty certain about his sexuality at the time.
Now, I've known him for four years, we're juniors in high school now, and he has come out. I found out a week ago. The rest of the school found out months ago. We grew apart over the past year, and he said that was why he never mentioned it, but when I pushed the matter further, saying I thought we were closer than that, he said that I had always been a little "homophobic" and that he didn't want to tell me too quickly.
I talked to other friends who knew both of us, and they all said the same thing. I was "homophobic."
When I think about it, I'm kind of offended. I'm not "homophobic" by any means. Because of my religion, As a Jehovah's Witness, I have been raised to believe that homosexuality is a choice and a facet of immorality. I disagree with the choices that they make, but that's all. I also disagree with his choice to flush his old phone down the toilet "by accident" to get a new one with the insurance money.
It's so frustrating to be tossed into the pile labeled "homophobic" because the label to many means ignorant, close-minded, stupid, intolerant, and even elitist.
I don't actively fight their way of life. We remain neutral in all political affairs, so we don't vote. We don't campaign like some other Christian branches have done.
My highschool is a special audition-only school, and it has a motto and community feel centered around respect and tolerance. For that reason, many people who would be mistreated at other schools end up at my school. People with disabilities, very religious people, homosexuals, transexuals, bisexuals, immigrants, and all sorts of others end up at my school as a sort of safe haven. Many people from my congregation and others in my area go to my school. Tolerance is abundant.
Yet, by being called a homophobe, I feel that I am being criticized for my religious beliefs in a way that I should not be in a tolerant environment. When I respect everyone's differences and keep my beliefs to myself - only my close friends know my beliefs and some of the more detailed parts of my faith - why should I not at least receive the same amount of tolerance in return?
So. What does the term H O M O P H O B I C mean to you?
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Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 8:47 pm
*shrugs* I hate being called an atheist, but that's what I am. No matter how I stress my difference from the norm.
Anyway, homophobic is someone who is intolerant of homosexuality, though I only use it myself for someone who is militantly so.
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Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 8:53 pm
Well you said you two were close. He knew your beliefs and was probably upset at the thought you wouldn't support him, whether this is true or not.
To be completely literal, "homo" means same and "phobic" is be afraid of.
Though I think I would use the term for those against homosexuality for whatever reason. I know it's incorrect, but that's what my mind defines it as.
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Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 9:07 pm
Hmm. I would say that homophobic would be someone who hates and/or is scared by homosexuals.
According to your description, you're not homophobic - you don't hate or fear him. You might qualify as bigoted though, as your religion is intolerant of gays (believing them to be immoral and all)
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Nespin Fernagon Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 9:32 pm
Homophoic is the thought pattern where Homosexuals actions are more likely to frighten you then a heterosexual's, based solely on the fact they are homosexuals.
I also find his remark towards you distasteful, as you said, he hinted your friendship was not strong and was using his homosexuality as an excuse for you two becoming distant.
Based on my personal definition of the word though it is not as bad to me as some people, since mine has a larger range and can simply mean feeling uneasy or something casual.
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Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 9:58 pm
I've a friend who went through the same thing.
....
E'eryone called him gay. To this day I don't see why. Now, he's got a mental disorder and says he's gay.
Personally, I don't think he really is. It seems to me like he gave into everybody's expectations. And later tried to kill himself for it. I'd heard from rumors quite a while before. But recently, after 1-2 years of not talking to him, he comes over. Telling me and my sister that he's gay, and that he's not allowed to have a gun because he tried to kill himself.
I've met gay people before. Like.... Gay gay people. This guy didn't fit the bill. The other gay people I've met have spoken about how they like men. He just says he's gay.
And I just don't see it.
Homophobic.... Holds no meaning with me. Seems like just another word to be misused.
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Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:25 pm
Well I typed a very long response and got logged out.
I am not typing it again.
I'm not biased or judgemental, but I am opinionated.
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Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:33 pm
Honestly it doesn't mean anything to me since until a few minutes ago I'd never heard the term... though just from looking at the word I'd interpret it as being afraid of sameness, which doesn't make much sense.
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Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 12:00 am
Jikoniau Honestly it doesn't mean anything to me since until a few minutes ago I'd never heard the term... though just from looking at the word I'd interpret it as being afraid of sameness, which doesn't make much sense. Props to your English skills, but no homophobia basicly means that you disike or are uncomfortable arround homosexuals.
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Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 10:07 am
Jikoniau Honestly it doesn't mean anything to me since until a few minutes ago I'd never heard the term... though just from looking at the word I'd interpret it as being afraid of sameness, which doesn't make much sense. XD Cute. Homophobia has nothing to do with being afraid of gay people. I've always hated it when homophobic people say they aren't homophobic because they aren't afraid of gays, they just hate them and want to kill them all =.= I would say that that is homophobia, a hatred against people. Naturally the severity of this hate is different but I think you get the point. I had one kid call me a racist before (because the girl who's in GSA saying we need to do something productive whose two best friends and mother are gay is clearly a homophobe rolleyes )
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:49 am
Some people call themselves homophobic but first they have to learn what the word means to be one
for example my aunt is a ratphobic she wont even let my cousin watch Tom and Jerry
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 5:34 pm
Wow, that's horrible. I mean, if he was your close friend he would know your beliefs. But, with how you described it, you can come off a bit homophobic. Even so, being that you guys were close friends he should've known that you would be supportive of him being gay.
Hmm, well the definition of homophobia is "unreasoning fear of or antipathy toward homosexuals and homosexuality." With this said, basically it's where you're scared of homosexuals and/or have a a natural, basic, or habitual repugnance; aversion (antipathy) towards them. But I think homophobic people can also be intolerant and wish to kill all homosexuals for being "sinners". (Wanna know real homophobes? Look up West Boro Church. They're horrible people. They even came to my school to protest since we're a tolerant school like yours. Of course we protested back having 300 to their 7 protesters).
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 10:07 pm
I don't really understand how some people can think that homosexuality is a choice... that doesn't really make any sense...
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Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 2:42 pm
being bisexual, i think homophobic means being scared, or having a strong hatred. at least that what it has become. Jikoniau i think is right, its supposed to mean by using homo and phobic, scared of sameness. but. that just isnt the case.
Just today my friend . best guy friend got in a fight because he was tired of people calling him a f*****t(and i know that's a crazy offensive word, its the only one that makes me angry but, i use it because its how it was) and the guy slapped him how manly is that. and my friend punched him in the face and is now suspended. at my school its also a really cool thing for some reason i do not understand to act like your gay. and if offendes the gay population as small as it is.
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Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 3:23 pm
ninjaaduckie the guy slapped him how manly is that. ninjaaduckie at my school its also a really cool thing for some reason i do not understand to act like your gay. and if offendes the gay population as small as it is.
Why the ******** would someone be offended because of someone "acting gay?" Do gay people have some kind of monopoly on certain actions, and no one else is allowed to "act gay" unless they're part of the club? God, people are stupid.
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