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Well I Will Put Them In Order Of When I Wrote Them

1.sex story
2.the bathroom
3.Cullen boys have a sleep over
4. Bella's wedding
5.who's is who's
6. Isle Esme

sex story

Bella walks into Alice and Jasper's Room. She held up a piece of paper with dresses on it. She Said "Hey Alice I was wondering what dre..."
She walked into see Alice and Jasper in bed with there eyes closed, when Alice opened one eye and smiled at Bella and said
"Oh I am sorry I will come back later" She started to back toward the door when Alice said "No no we were just done." She got up so fast that all Bella saw was a blur toward the closet but Jasper stayed in bed but opened his eyes and smiled at Bella. Alice was back in a flash. "He will like that one" She pointed to a blue satin dress with lace on the bottom "Thanks Alice. Hey did you want to go with me in case there is another dress there." Alice Nodded and went to give Jasper a kiss good bye when he complained. "but I wasn't done with you!" He picked her up by her waist and pulls her on to him. Bella just walks out and shuts the door in the hall she meets up with Emmett he had a towel around his waist he pulls Bella into a hug and turns so his back to his bedroom door and said "Hi'ay Bella how are you?" "Good. Oh yeah don't go into Alice and Jasper's room." He gave Bella one last squeeze and walked into his room"Wait a minute what was down that way other that Edwards room"She thought. She shrugged her shoulders and walked down the stairs where she sees Edward on the couch watching TV "I am going to the mall now." "Is anyone going with you?"
Alice fly down the stairs fully clothed again and says "Yeah I am"
She smiled at Edward and they walked out the door when Jasper walked down the stairs with a pair of sweets "Rough night?" "For a little girl she has power" He said siting down by Edward. When the floor above them gives out and Rosalie and Emmett's bed with them in it falls in front of Edward and Jasper, Edward screams "IS EVERYONE GETTING ACTION BUT ME!"
Edward runs out the door after Bella. Jasper just smiles at Emmett and Rose and walks toward the stairs and yells to Carlisle and Esme "Be careful you don't want to break the house like Emmett and Rosalie just did!" "I will get the tools you get the wood just like everyday." Carlisle said "All ready" Esme complained She Quickly Kissed Him Carlisle moaned "I will be right back" He Said Agents Her Lips "EMMETT!! I told you if you were going to do that go to a hotel!" Esme yelled to Emmett
When Edward Busted through to door with Bella in his arms and up the stairs. Alice walks in looking annoyed "didn't even get to the hwy before he jumped in front of my car!"

bathroom

"Esme!, Edward took all the hot water!" Rosalie complained "Hurry up Rosalie I need to curl my hair NOW" Jasper Screamed. Jasper was banging on the door when Carlisle walked up the stairs and yelled
"Yeah well I have to get ready for work!" Alice danced up the the others
"Rose, I have to gel my hair now or it will not turn out." She said hoping Rosalie would let her in. Emmett walked up to Jasper, Carlisle and Alice
"Rose, baby I have to pose in front of the mirror" He said All three turned with bugged out eyes "WHAT I like to see my muscles in the morning"
He complained. When Rosalie yelled back
"YEAH WELL IF Edward DIDN'T USE ALL THE HOT WATER
I WOULD BE DONE BY NOW!" Esme walked up the stairs and looked at everyone with confused eyes "You know we have another bathroom?"
Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle and Alice ran down the stairs and all over the house looking for another bathroom. They all appeared at the bottom if the stairs "WHERE" They all said at the same time "After all the years you guys have lived in this house... Down the hall third door on the left" She said annoyed They all went off again
"FOUND IT!" Alice said as she slammed the door "HEY, do you want to be able to buy new shoes?" Carlisle said through the door "Esme!" Alice pleaded "Oh Carlisle we have a bathroom in our room, don't teas her like that" Esme said "Its in my room I called it" He called running into his room "What a bunch of kids...Jasper, you guys have a bathroom in your guys room go curl you hair in there" she said to Jasper "WHAT ABOUT ME!!!" Emmett screamed
"Rosalie is your wife go in the same bathroom as her" She Reminded him "Oh yeah I forgot" He said running up the stairs.
"AHHHH" She ran out if the bathroom with bleach blond hair
"ROSALIE DON'T..." she warn her
"AHH MY HAIR" She ran out of the bathroom with black hair "ALICE WHAT DID YOU DO!" "No what did you do. If you just let me gel my hair this wouldn't of happened!" Rosalie Gave Alice the death glare and Alice stuck her tong out at her. "THAT'S IT!" Rosalie Screamed and came at Alice. Alice barred her teeth Emmett and Jasper came running to save their other halves backs Jasper quickly hugged Alice from the back and made her calm and Emmett Pulled Rosalie's arms behind her
"Alice, baby we can dye your hair back." Jasper said to her, He said kissing her cheek she turned her head and kissed him back then pointed at her head
"Will you help me wash the gel out" She gave him puppy dog eyes "How can I say no to those eyes" He quickly scoped her up into his arms and headed back to the bathroom. Rosalie just glared at Emmett ans pulled away and snapped her teeth at his face and stocked back to the bathroom.
"Oh come on baby. Do you know what Jasper would of done if I let you bite her?" He yelled after her "What just happened?" Carlisle wanted to know "Don't worry I got it all on tape" Edward said flashing the camera
"EDWARD!!" Rosalie and Alice said at the same time
"got to go" And he took of out the door.

Cullen boys have a sleep over

The Cullen boys Are having a sleep over. When the girls go to port angles and they hide a camera in the house when they are gone.The boys are in
there underwear in the living room."Emmett will you curl my hair?"
Jasper asked as he came down the stairs with the curler in his
hand."Yeah sure, some here" Emmett replied. As he was curling
Jasper's hair, Edward comes down in a pink thong"hey guys, does
this make me look good?"Edward wanted to know" "sure why not"
Carlisle said as he came down in Esme's pink dress" I don't know I
don't think it is my color" he said twirling around. Jasper Turns around
and starts putting make up on Emmett, when Jasper was done he
had bright red lip stick on and blue eye shadow on Jasper holds a
mirror up " I don't know it makes me look trashy" Emmett says
As the girls were driving to port angles they were watching there
boys on screens "what is Emmett doing?"Rosalie said she showed
they girls they saw Emmett dancing on the Coffey table singing barbie
girl in to the lamp . "So that is what has happening with my lamps, the people
at the store think I am crazy buying the same lamp over and over again"Esme said.
When Bella goes back to her screen she screams "EDWARD
IS IN MY DRESS!" she started dialing his number Alice quickly
stooped her "No, Bella we don't want to break our cover besides I want
to see what Jasper does" Jasper comes from the up stairs and yells "RUN!!!"
they all run past the camera and out the door when the water runs down the stairs
in the distance you hear Edward yell "Oh!!!!, I got my thong wet again !"
"Don't go back in side if we say we weren't there and wait until they get home
then walk in it isn't our fault" Emmett says to Edward who is looking at the
water that is seeping out from the crack under the door "WAIT, We can go
anywhere in our UNDERWEAR!" Jasper yells a little to loud "well we cant
open this door or we will get wet" Edward said still looking at the water
" lets go through the window" Jasper said " no Esme locked them after
I almost fell out one the other day" Emmett said " Back door"
Carlisle exclaimed they all ran to the back door "hey look under wear"
Edward said pulling the dry pair that is not a thong " it is dry in here "
Carlisle said walking in they all went to the stairs that had water still going
down them they all tried to walk up the stairs but fell trying Jasper jumped up
and ran up the stairs got to the last stair and fell he grabbed the railing Edward
came up behind him and grabbed his leg and crawled up the stairs
"you wait here and I will get a rope and I will pull you up"
Edward ran all over the up stairs then came down the stairs
"no Edward you wont get up again" Jasper yelled still hanging on to
the railing at that moment Edward fell again "Well we are never going to get up now"
Carlisle said "the girls could be home any minute now" Emmett said.
The girls are watching the hole thing at the hotel."Any minute now...who want to go home?"
Rosalie sneered" but we haven't gone shopping yet" Alice wined. from the speakers
you could hear jasper yell "my underwear is falling down" "lets go"Alice ran out the door
"she'll think about shopping later" Esme said as they walked out the door.
In the car Rosalie said with a groan "I can see it not the water running over his muscles..."
she jumped out of the car and started running.
Back at the house the guys sneak back around to the camera and turn it off "do you think they
caught us?" Emmett laughed "no but I think we should clean this up before they get home"
Carlisle laughed "we will die if we were caught" Jasper said with a laugh "yeah but that was fun" Emmett said
there was a long awkward silence "yeah it was fun" Carlisle said as he finished moping up the water Edward walked down the stairs with pants on "hey,good idea" Carlisle said Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle walked up the stairs. When they came down the stairs they sat on the floor and stared talking about their mates and how it was going when Rosalie
busted through the door and tackled Emmett "hey what happened to you being shirtless?" she ripped off his shirt and the other boys got up and backed up out the door just as the girls drove up the drive way Alice jumped out the the window and graded Jasper's hand and pulled him up the stairs he looked back at the others and then yelled "look out Edward!"
he said that 2 seconds to late Alice shut him up with a kiss he wouldn't forget, when Bella tackles Edward "so what is this I herd of you in a thong?" Bella asked Carlisle looked at Esme with opened eyes and then took off up the stairs into the house Esme took off after him
In the end when the girls found out they knew that the knew about the camera they took them shopping with them and they didn't like that one bit at all.

Bella's wedding

"Bella it's time" Alice sang. Bella got up and Alice dragged her up stares Bella was shaking by the time they got up to her room "Bella that is it I am getting Jasper up here" Alice left and was back before she could get up "there, jasper can you keep Bella calm so that i can do this? Emmett came up to and was sitting in a corner laughing "its sunny out so we put up blankets over the windows" jasper told them. " Alice can I ask you something?" Bella said, "go ahead" "did you and jasper get married before or after you found Carlisle?" "After" Alice smiled at jasper "how did he ask you?" Bella wanted to know "well, I was about to go hunting with Edward and when I was walking out the door jasper grabbed my hand and went down on one knee and said...” Jasper took over " Miss Alice Cullen will you marry me?" he smiled at Alice she stopped what she was doing and walked over to him “ and I said yes and got down and gave him a hug he pulled me on to him and kissed me when Edward came in and wanted to know what was taking me so long and he saw us he yelled ‘not in here that is what your room is for’ everyone started walking in so I sat up and told them ‘jasper asked me to marry him’ everyone was so happy” she told her “ there done” Alice stepped away from her “ well you boys should get down there she kissed jasper when he walked by “ well its my turn you come down after me “ Alice started walking down and Bella did come after her everyone was watching her and of course she trips over her own two feet and when she was falling she ripped down one of the sheets over the windows and all the vampires started sparkling a hiker was watching this all and he fell backwards and started bleeding some of the vampires ran after the hiker and Edward walked up in front of everyone and said “as you can see some are sparkling and some ran after that hiker well I can explain” Edward went on about a sparkle miss have at the store and they ran after that guy because he wasn’t suppose to be on their land and he was bugging them. When he was done everyone was back “Edward” Bella said, “ I thin you have bored the people lets just get this over with so we can go”. After the wedding Edward said, “so I told you the stories so we are all good now right?” “JUST GO EDWARD” Rosalie said. They headed out the door and they turn around to wave bye to all the people and Bella falls down the stares and she spends her honeymoon in the hospital.

Who's is Who's

Something’s you need to know well all the vampire girls are not vampires 0-0

Emmett and Rosalie are at school after lunch they are walking to their English class when Rosalie throws up on the floor. Emmett picks her up and says to her “ lets get you home” he walks to Edwards class to get the car keys Emmett puts Rosalie down and knocks on the door “ can I speak to Edward?” he asked Mr. banner. When Edward comes to the door he looks down at Rosalie “oh Rosalie you don’t look so good” he said in a mocking voice” “I need the keys “ Emmett tells him “ jasper all ready took Alice home call him” Edward walks back in to his class. Emmett calls jasper on his phone “jazz, I need the car to take Rosalie home” “ you could run faster than this car would go” jasper exclaimed “ true but that would give her motion sickness, I don’t want her to throw up on me” Emmett said “true but I am cleaning out the car right now because Alice got sick in the car, DON’T TELL EDWARD! He’ll kill me,” he said in a whisper so only him and Emmett would hear. “Wow, so do you think there is something wrong?” Emmett asked him “I don’t know, well have to get them to Carlisle. I’ll be done soon I will pick you up on the way” jasper said “bring buckets” Emmett said shutting the phone he picked up Rosalie and said “ don’t worry baby jasper is coming to get us and we are bring you to the hospital to see Carlisle” they walked out side and Edward came through the door and said “is there room for one more in the car?” ” her too?” Emmett said. Jasper drove up then and picked them up Bella was on Edwards lap and Rosalie on Emmett’s Alice was in the passengers seat and jasper was driving. They got to the hospital and Alice got sick that made Rosalie sick that made Bella sick “ lets get them to Carlisle” jasper said to them, when they got to Carlisle, Esme was there crying “what’s wrong Esme?” Edward asked her “ I’m pregnant” she cried some more Carlisle came over to her “ its okay, it must be half human and half vampire will be out of there in 3 weeks”. “so Carlisle why we are here is because our woman are sick and we don’t know why ” Emmett said “:well lets check them out” Carlisle brought them all to a room where no one else is. Rosalie went first “ Well Rosalie see that” he pointed to the screen “Yeah” “that’s a baby, you are pregnant” Rosalie looked surprised but didn’t say anything. Alice wet next “Well Alice” Carlisle said “Same for you” he looked nervous “Alice how did this happen?” Jasper wanted to know “Well…” he looked at her then Rosalie started crying “No, no baby you’ll be fine” Emmett said to her, Then Bella went Same for her PREGNANT! After all the pain and screaming and getting sick all of them had their babies Esme’s came first “Oh isn’t he cute.. He looks so much like… Edward?” Esme looked at him with sad eyes “I don’t know how this happened” she said to him Carlisle didn’t say anything then Bella’s came “How cute is this” she held him up to Edward “He looks like Carlisle” He said to her looking pissed off. Then Rosalie’s “She looks like Jasper” she said too quick Rose what do I not know” Emmett asked her. And finally Alice’s, Emmett said “ Aww she look like me….” Emmett looked strangely at the baby “Alice” Jasper said…

So what do you think will happen when they find out who’s is who’s? Well I will tell you
Alice’s baby is Emmett’s
Rosalie’s baby is Jasper’s
Bella’s baby is Carlisle's
Esme’s baby is Edward’s

Well…what were they doing 0-0 xd

Isle Esme

One day in the Cullen house…
“I got that time off,” Carlisle said as he walked in from work one day “That’s great” Esme said as she wrapped her arms around him “So when are we going to tell the kids?” she asked him “tell us what?” Alice asked walking down the stairs “Yeah like you don’t know” Carlisle said. Alice smiled and Esme said “get the others” as she and Carlisle went to sit on the couch the others came in not long after and Carlisle said, “Guys, we are all going to Isle Esme”….
“Its even more pretty then I remembered” Alice said as she danced around in circles right after she got off the boat. Jasper followed after her with their bags “Come on you guys get your things” he said taking Esme’s and his own bags then ‘helped’ her out, Emmett, Rosalie, Bella, Edward and Renesmee followed them all into the house.
When they were all in the house Carlisle spoke up “Um..So Renesmee can sleep in the blue room and the rest of us can use the white room. Take turns I guess” he said. When they all were in their swimming suites Carlisle and Esme were making Renesmee lunch because she had learned to eat human food. Emmett and Rosalie came out of the room and walked over to the door the stopped to say “Don’t wait up”, Alice and Jasper ran after they and they all jumped in the water at once and started play fighting. “We can get this” Carlisle said to Edward and Bella “We will bring her out after” Esme added as Edward and Bella walked out the door “Thanks mom” Edward said, He and Bella were ‘Sun bathing’ together. Renesmee didn’t know how to swim yet so they put up a sprinkler for her. Not long after Esme and Carlisle brought her out then went to lay in a hammock in the shade why Renesmee ran over to Edward “Daddy, play with me” she asked pointing to the sprinkler, he got up and went to play with her. Emmett walked over to Bella and picked her up “Emmett what are you doing?” she said as he walked into the water and lightly threw her in, when she surfaced she push Emmett under then went back to the beach laughing, Emmett being under water he found Rosalie and slid under her then got up with her on his shoulders, “Emmett!” she said as she slid down to his back then turned to face him with her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, kissing him quickly she dropped back down into the water. Alice and Jasper were laughing until Emmett splashed Jasper and Rosalie grabbed Alice and pulled her under, when Alice came up she stopped them and pointed to some buckets then pointed to Bella that returned to shore to ‘sun bathe’, they all grabbed the bucket filled them with water and dumped them on Bella, screaming she got up and looked at them laughing, Emmett was rolling on the ground all ready. Carlisle and Esme looked at each other then back at the others and started laughing as Bella walked over to Edward and Renesmee as she whispered something to Renesmee she smiled. Renesmee ran over to Emmett and started splashing him, when Emmett gave up, Renesmee ran over to Carlisle and Esme and laid with them knowing that he wouldn’t splash his parents. She snuggled up with them to keep cool, after a bit when it was dark everyone went in side. Bella and Edward went to put Renesmee to bed, why Emmett and Rosalie claimed the white room. Alice and Jasper went down to the beach to watch the stairs, Carlisle and Esme went down the dock why Edward and Bella watched Renesmee sleep.
The next day they all went desisted to go on a sale boat ride, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Edward, Bella, Rosalie and Renesmee were all on the deck why Jasper was sailing. Alice came up beside him with a sails hat, She put it on him, he put his arms around her as she put her hands on the wheel but let him steer. Emmett and Edward got up and Emmett pushed Edward that fell in to the water and Bella pushed Emmett into the water and Rosalie pushed Bella into the water and them jumped in her self. They all got out of the water and went below to get dry. Alice smiled “Teach me how to steer” she asked Jasper “Alright its just like driving a car just harder to turn” he said letting go of the wheel “Don’t let go” Alice said he put his hands on her hips “Look at you” she said putting the hat on her head “My little captain” he said as Alice giggled
A week later Carlisle said “Well it has bin a week, lets go home” Esme nodded as the others went to pack. Alice and Jasper were the first to be done; they went to the dock and put their bags in the boat. Jasper turned and kissed Alice, Renesmee came out and whistled at them, Carlisle came out then and covered her eyes “Do you guys want to wait until we get home” she said , the others came out then “Alright lets go home” Carlisle said.

Hope you like them smile

Okay, you know what I don't give a ******** what you think because you are an a** to everyone in this guild. They are MY stories and I can post what I want and put them as I want, others have laughed so hard because of what I have wrote because they are so funny, I know because I was with them AKA my friends, others on a different guild and they couldn't stop laughing, what you have done rewriting the story is called plagiarism because you didn't say they were mine done by me!
Oh yeah, by the way there is a difference between constructive criticism and just being a jerk. Also you didn't correct everything I still can see some errors, So you are saying I am stupid? Who do you think you are!. I put my stories on here so others could enjoy them not tell me to change them.

omg seriously calm down guys! i agree with alice a little bit... it was kinda jerkish do repost her story and say you didnt like it. you couldve just done the poll thingy. but i laughed pretty hard... i thought they were pretty good. they may not have been the most well written, but they sure did make my day (:

If we're the only two posting and you're obviously talking to me I see no reason to quote it. It just stretches the page. And it isn't plagiarism because I didn't take credit for it. And following your line of logic, if that was plagiarism, than Twilight would have never been written. People edit other people's work all the time. And since I didn't take credit for it, or repost it somewhere else, then it isn't plagiarism.

I liked them, Alice. Dont let him get to you.

Thanks =D

but he posted it in ur thread, and never said it was his. and since its fanfiction u dont have copyright to it cause if that was the case ms. meyer would sue u biggrin