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 Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:04 pm
I'm 15, and i want a baby.
Ok, it may sound crazy but i love kids, all
ages. And i always dream of having a baby,
and i really want one. I know that i have a "future"
ahead of me but what if i want my future to make
me as a stay at home mom.
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Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 2:23 pm
Wanting a baby is perfectly fine, most of us want a baby eventually. It's ok to want to be a stay at home mom too. Just remember that loving kids isn't really enough to make someone a good parent. Babies need love, but they need a lot of other stuff too. And 15 year olds cannot provide the other things that babies need.
Babies cost money, so you need to wait until you can afford one. If you're still living with mom and dad, don't even think about trying to get pregnant yet. Because it wouldn't be fair to them to have to give up a room to your child (that baby isn't going to be a baby forever and will eventually need a room of their own), pay for medical expenses, pay for more food, pay for a higher electricity bill, get woken up in the middle of the night when the baby cries, and other the other issues that come into play when another person is added to a household.
Before trying for a baby you should ideally have some money in the bank, a job or a partner who can support you and the baby, a place of your own with enough room for another person, and health insurance. Mom and dad's health insurance isn't going to cut it because you're going to lose that when you get a bit older, so you're going to need your own or be added onto your partner's.
You should also finish school before trying for a baby. You should finish high school at the very least, but I'd recommend going to college after that. You can even take child development classes. Once you're done with school you'll know more, which means more things you can teach your child. And you'll have more time for your baby too.
Waiting is also better for your baby's health. Because babies who are born to teens have more health problems.
You also need to see an ob-gyn, discuss any medications with your ob-gyn, and take prenatal vitamins before trying for a baby. You should also do research on breastfeeding.
So it's perfectly fine and normal to want a baby in your life. You just need to control the urge until you're actually ready for a baby. Because trying for a baby at this point in your life just because you want something to cuddle and love would be selfish. Waiting is in the best interest of you, the father, your parents, and the baby.
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Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 9:15 pm
I've always wanted to have children of my own and have a happy family with a likeminded individual to be my mate. So that has always been my priority. Sure, I stayed in school, but school has always been just a method for me to meet people (including my husband) and it has helped me to gain access to a fairly good job that has insurance and benefits to pay for my pregnancy, birth and postpartum recovery.
What you want to do is have a healthy baby and the best way to do that is to have the savings, insurance coverage, and support people (my husband is taking off 2 months to help me recover and help with the baby) who will best support you in your goals.
So I suggest the following:
1) Stay in school; it is more likely that if you stay in school, you will be more likely to meet a man who is educated and can eventually get a job that can allow you to stay at home with your children if you were to marry him. If that is not the case, you can always get a job of your own and save up to take a long maternity leave or possibly even work from home (most highly paid work from home opportunities are only available to those with college educations) so that you can afford to have a child that way.
2) Screen out all of your possible dates. Make sure they have the qualities you're looking for in a spouse and life partner. Do they have a good work ethic? Do they like children? Do they have similar goals and beliefs? Etc...
3) Be up front and honest about what you are hoping for in the future. If a possible mate isn't interested in it, move on immediately.
4) As always, keep telling yourself that having a baby requires planning, just like having a career. Being a parent is one of the more important and hardest things you can do in your life, and there are no sick days or days off from it!
As for myself, I'm only 24, and I've just recently given birth to my first baby. I'm in a committed marriage with a man who takes care of me and respects me and I do the same for him. We both saved up so we could take off a good amount of time from work, but due to the fact that I make more than he does and carry the insurance, I must go back to work in the fall while he goes to part time and stays home with the baby during the day. For us, this works out just fine, but it would not have been possible if we hadn't planned for it.
So for the health of your precious future child, make sure that you get your ducks in a row before you commence having children. Even if you don't have a perfect situation, the most important things that a baby needs is health, loving parents, and the time and money needed to raise a child with love and respect. Even if you're not rich, there is a certain level of financial stability that you must realistically achieve to make sure that it is possible for you to stay at home with your baby. I hope that helps!
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