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 Posted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:47 pm
hello! i am writing some poems and want feedback on my first one. if it goes good i will write more. first, you need to know my style. i don't like punctuation. so don't chew me out about that. i write free verse poetry. that's it. so read and enjoy.
She looks into his eyes
Tears in hers
How she longs to be with him forever
How her heart breaks when he leaves her
He belongs to her
And yet, he doesn’t
He turns to leave again
Not hearing her heart break once more
If only he could hear it
Then maybe he would never leave her again
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Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 4:33 pm
It pretty nice, but you should try making it more continuous. Your poem seems to have alot of sentences. No offence.
But the poem is really cute.
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Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 9:48 am
missmurder1106 It pretty nice, but you should try making it more continuous. Your poem seems to have alot of sentences. No offence. But the poem is really cute. thanks biggrin
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