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COLD COMFORT
by
Esmeralda Shadowkin



Sookie sat in the kitchen, watching beads of condensation trickle down the sides of her glass of peach tea. The spring night was warm, almost humid. She'd piled her long blonde hair up in a neat coil and fixed it in place with a banana clip. It didn't help much. There wasn't a breath of air. Under her thin blue bathrobe, her lightweight cotton nightie stuck to her back and sides. She'd have to see about getting an electric fan for the kitchen.

Tonight was her night off. She should have been enjoying it, watching a movie, painting her toenails, doing something fun to take her mind off her troubles. There were too many now, more than ever before. They waited for quiet moments like this to come creeping into her mind, bringing sorrow, anger and that deep, deep sense of loss.

She'd lost too many people in too short a time. Not all of them people, either. Not all of them dead. Some were just too far out of reach, like Jason and Bill. The silence in the house reminded Sookie of the comfort she'd once found in Tina's quiet purr. Bob hadn't purred all that much, but at least he'd been some kind of company. Sookie hoped he was doing all right, coping with the losses he hadn't even known about until Octavia and Amelia turned him back into a human and told him about Hurricane Katrina.

Sookie made herself take a sip of tea. The pleasant sweetness tasted wrong to her, as if there should be nothing pleasant, nothing happy in the world when so many of the people dear to her were gone forever. She'd been looking forward to holding Claudine's baby, to seeing what a real fairy baby looked like. Knowing Claudine and from what Sookie had seen of male fairies, the baby would have been as cute as a button. Poor Niall. Was he sitting somewhere in his secret place, mourning the loss of a family member he'd never had the chance to even meet?

Sookie wiped the tears off her cheeks and shook herself. She had to think about the good things, the positive things. Tray Dawson had gone down fighting to his very last breath. He'd given Bill the moment Bill needed to plunge Sookie's iron garden hoe into the side of that b*****d Breandan, the one who'd killed Claudine and her baby. Sookie couldn't take any pleasure in the vengeance, though she was content to know Niall was safe now. If Claude chose to stay in the human world, maybe Sookie would drive over to his club sometime. He'd be as rude to her as he ever was, but maybe they could share just a moment in honor of Claudine.

Outside car tires crunched on the gravel driveway. Sookie glanced over at the kitchen clock. Ten p.m. Who could be coming to see her at that hour? Not Sam. He would have called first. Not Eric. She would have felt him getting closer to her. Not Bill, who was still too weak to walk much less go to all the trouble of driving his big black Cadillac round to her place. The slow, quiet way the car rolled to a stop told Sookie it couldn't be Jason. He'd arrive in a spray of gravel, slewing the back end of his truck around as he parked. Not Quinn, not after the way Bill and Eric had run him off. Thanks to that trick with the ceremonial knife, Eric had made it crystal clear to the vampires from Las Vegas that Quinn had better not come around again. That brought up another big tangle of unresolved feelings that needed thinking through, but Sookie was just too tired to try.

So who was out there? The police? Some friend in trouble bringing more bad news? Or somebody else, somebody Sookie didn't know, somebody who had their own shiny new problem to get her tangled up in?

Sookie got up and turned out the kitchen light, then slipped out through the connecting door into the living room. She hurried on tiptoe into her bedroom and dug her cellphone out of her purse, then picked up Jason's Benelli shotgun from its usual place by the water heater. Clean, oiled, loaded, ready to blast any unwelcome visitors, the shotgun would put a good-sized hole in almost anything.

A car door slammed. Sookie stood just to the side of the front window and peeked around at the car out front. A sedan, hard to tell the color from that distance. A tall man stood by the car, leaning against it with his arms folded and his head down. He didn't seem to be in any hurry to come on up onto the porch and knock.

"Well?" Sookie whispered. "It isn't nice to keep a lady waiting."

As if he'd heard her, the man straightened up and turned toward the house. The shadows thrown by the trees concealed him for a few strides, then he stepped out into the moonlight. Taller than Bill, not quite as tall as Eric, with a thick head of curly dark hair, broad shoulders, and that chest Sookie would remember forever.

Alcide Herveaux.

"Oh s**t." Sookie put the shotgun away and dropped her cellphone into her bathrobe pocket. She tucked a few stray wisps of hair behind her ears and tugged her bathrobe straight, retying the sash. There was no time to make herself presentable, and no real reason to do so. If a man came calling at this hour, he'd just have to take her as he found her. Not that Alcide would be doing anything like that. Sookie could only hope that now the war between the fairy princes was over, none of the people who'd been keeping an eye on her for both good and bad reasons were still hanging around. She did not need her unseen bodyguards to know the new Packmaster was visiting her on her night off at such an indecent hour. She'd never hear the end of it, from the humans, the vampires, and the 'shifters.

Three firm knocks rattled the screen door.

"Who is it?"

"Sookie? It's me, Alcide."

"Good Lord, Alcide! Do you know what time it is?"

"Yes I do. I've been counting every minute since I left home."

"What on earth are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you, Sookie. Please. Won't you let me in?"

Sookie knew she should send him away. Right then and there. Things were already bad enough, him just being on her front porch. She reached out to Alcide's mind. The usual tangle of shapeshifter sensations and images came rushing at her. One emotion overrode all the rest of it. Loneliness, deep and vast as the night sky above. Sookie leaned her head against the wall, her eyes squeezed tight shut. This was bad. First she'd killed Debbie, Alcide's possessive, homicidal ex-girlfriend, then rival werewolves had killed his next love, poor little Maria-Star. No wonder Alcide was lonely. If he thought she could do anything to help him through that, he was in for one hell of a nasty surprise.

"Alcide, I'm really not dressed for company. Maybe you could--"

"Sookie, please." That deep voice broke. "Give me ten minutes. Just that much."

Hearing an echo of her own pain, Sookie could not turn Alcide away. Knowing she was a fool, she unlocked the front door and let him in. Alcide stepped past her and stood there staring down at her like he was starving and she was a cheeseburger with all the trimmings. His khaki work pants and flannel shirt in green and brown plaid suited his coloring, reminding Sookie that Alcide was quite a main dish himself.

"Sookie." He took her shoulders in a gentle grip, looking her over. "You have no idea how good it is to see you safe and whole."

"How you been, Alcide?" Sookie was very glad she'd kept the lights off. Alcide wouldn't be able to see the marks that remained from Lochlan and Neave torturing her. "Things going all right for the pack?"

Alcide shrugged, raking one hand back through his heavy dark curls. "Well enough, I guess. Things have settled down, at least for a little while."

Sookie turned on the lamp by the recliner, keeping behind the light, then moved on into the kitchen. "Can I get you something? Tea? A Coke? Maybe a beer?"

"Tea is fine, thank you."

Alcide took a seat at the kitchen table across from Sookie's place. In the better light Sookie could now see how worn Alcide looked. New lines in the corners of his eyes, more threads of silver at his temples. He kept rubbing his right palm over the knuckles of his left hand. Both of his hands looked battered, whether from work or fighting she couldn't tell. Sookie set the glass of tea down in front of him, then took her seat.

"What is it, Alcide? I can see you got something serious on your mind."

He looked at her then with those green eyes, then a smile lit his handsome face. "I swear, Sookie. No matter what's wrong with me, one look at you and I feel better."

Sookie stared down into the depths of her tea. "Well. That's real nice of you to say."

"How have you been?" Alcide laid his big right hand on hers. "I know terrible things have been happening. I would have come sooner, but I didn't want to bother you when you needed some rest."

Sookie tried to shut out the thoughts that came rushing at her the second Alcide's hand touched hers. She did not want to know what he was thinking. It was obvious he'd been thinking about her, a lot. If Eric ever had even the slightest suspicion, Alcide was as good as dead.

"It's been bad, Alcide. Real bad." Sookie took a deep breath and blinked back the start of more tears. "I don't know if I'll ever be the same person I used to be."

"Somebody hurt you?" Alcide's jaw clenched. "Was it one of those bloodsucking freaks?"

Sookie sighed. "No, Alcide. They were the ones who saved me. I got on the wrong side of somebody else. Two of his little friends did everything they could possibly do to me without actually killing me."

"Where are they?" Alcide's voice deepened, with more than a hint of a growl.

Sookie pulled her hand out from under his. "Now don't you go getting all hairy-chested on me, Alcide Herveaux. And yes, I mean that any way you want to take it. The ones who hurt me are dead. All of them."

She got up and went to the refrigerator, pulling out cold cuts and cheese slices, mustard and mayo and ketchup.

"You hungry?" Sookie kept her mind focussed on making a sandwich. She hadn't bothered with dinner. The lead weight of grief in her belly had made her too sick to eat. "I got ham and roast beef. I think there's some meat loaf in there too."

It was way past even a late dinner hour, but she needed something to do that would keep her hands busy and her back to Alcide. He didn't speak, but his mind was busy with hot red thoughts of blood and pain. Finally Alcide let out a long, slow breath.

"Whatever you're having is fine."

Sookie made two ham and cheese, then fished two dill pickles out of the jar and got some packets of potato chips down from the cupboard. She set the plates down, then took her seat and bit into her sandwich. Alcide was looking at her, willing her to meet his eyes, but she would not look up at him. They ate in silence, the only noises the rattling of the ice in their glasses and the crinkling of the chip packets. When he was done, Alcide sat back.

"You always did know how to treat a man right."

"My grandmother would have a fit even now if she thought I didn't do right by a guest."

"You're a lady, Sookie. There are damn few left."

Sookie didn't know what to say to that.

Alcide sat forward. "I don't want to keep you up much later, so I should say what I came here to say." He bent over a bit, turning his head, trying to put himself at an angle so he could see up into Sookie's eyes. "Come on, Sookie. Look at me?"

Sookie's heart started to pound. She had a feeling she knew what Alcide was about to say, and it meant all kinds of trouble. Still, she might be wrong. So she looked him in the eye.

"All right, Alcide. I'm listening."

"Sookie, I've given this a whole lot of thought. I didn't just get a wild idea and jump into my car to come racing over here tonight."

Sookie nodded. "That's good to know."

"You remember the time I asked you to move in with me?"

"Yes."

"I can see now I was rushing things. I just wanted to take care of you. That wouldn't have been the right way. It would have been too much like locking you up in a cage."

Sookie stared at Alcide. "You understand that?"

"Believe me, the idea of a cage is hateful to me too."

Of course it would be. Alcide had watched his father die after the cage match with Patrick Furnan.

"You are a fine, strong, independent woman, Sookie," Alcide said. "I'd be the worst kind of fool if I did anything to try to change that."

"Thank you. I think. What is it you're getting at, Alcide?"

"I want to make things right between us, Sookie. All the trouble and misunderstandings and bad blood...." Alcide winced, hearing his own choice of words.

"You don't owe me any apologies, Alcide. Not now. All that got settled a while ago."

Alcide shook his head. "That's not what I mean. I want to be here for you, Sookie. I want to stand between you and anything else that tries to hurt you."

"That's real nice of you, Alcide, but you can't be my bodyguard. You've got a business to run. Besides, I'm not in danger now."

"Not right now, but sooner or later more trouble will come. The supernatural community knows about you, Sookie. They know about your talent. As long as those vampires think they can use you against each other, they'll just keep trying to scare you and push you around!"

"Oh, Alcide." Sookie leaned her elbows on the table and put her face in her hands. "You have no idea what's been happening, and I am too tired to explain it all to you right now."

"This is exactly what I mean."

Alcide stood up and moved around behind Sookie's chair. He put his big hands on her shoulders, digging his fingers into the knots of tension there. His hands were so warm, almost hot. Sookie missed that kind of warmth. Eric was all kinds of wonderful in bed, but he ran cool. The heat and strength in Alcide's big hands turned her stiff muscles into soft butter.

"You can't carry this load all by yourself, Sookie." Alcide's voice, low and husky, sent a pleasant shiver down Sookie's spine. "You shouldn't have to. Can't you just lean on me a little?"

More tears burned behind Sookie's eyes. Hell yes, she needed someone to lean on, someone to be there when darkness fell and all the bad things came out on the prowl. She needed someone who wasn't part of that darkness, part of the scary noises and the strange footsteps and that horrible feeling the prey gets just before the predator jumps out and devours it. Sweet as Alcide was, three nights a month he was one of those predators. So she made herself stand up and step away from his warmth.

"Alcide, you're a fine man. The thing is, that's not all you are. I'm just a human. Maybe I've got a little extra something, but that's all it is."

"Sookie, cher--"

"You need to be with one of your own kind, a woman who can give you strong, healthy babies and carry on your daddy's name."

"I want you to be that woman, Sookie." Alcide took her by the shoulders again and looked up into her eyes. "Now you listen to me. I know what you're thinking. I wouldn't ask any woman to take a chance on getting pregnant only to lose the baby and suffer all that grief." He stroked her cheek. "Thanks to Katrina, there are kids out there who need a home where they will be understood."

"Alcide!" Sookie stared at him, speechless with amazement. "You mean, you'd be willing to adopt a baby? A Were baby, from somebody else's pack?"

"Real wolves have been known to do it. I figure this is the right time to follow their example."

"But—what would the rest of the pack say? Would they go along with that?"

"They would, especially if we found a child from a family related to one of the pack members."

"So we'd be kind of like foster parents."

"Exactly." Alcide took Sookie's face in his big hands. "You hear what I'm saying to you, cher? I'm willing to find a whole new way of doing things, if it means I can have you by my side."

New tears rose in Sookie's eyes, blurring her sight. She turned her head to kiss his palm. Struggling to keep her voice steady, she spoke.

"I am honored, Alcide. Honored and touched, more than I can say."

Alcide opened his mouth to speak, but Sookie laid her hand across his lips.

"I'm afraid I can't accept your most gracious offer. I am so sorry to have to say that to you, when it's plain you've been working so hard to do this right."

Alcide didn't look upset. If anything, he looked more determined that ever. "Is it the vampire? Have you decided to take him back?"

"No, Alcide. Bill and I aren't together. We're hardly even neighbors now."

"Don't tell me you've taken up with Sam. Sookie, he's your employer!"

"Sam Merlotte is my best friend and one of the finest people I've ever known. Don't you dare use that tone when you talk about him in front of me!"

"All right! I didn't mean it like that!" Alcide ran his hands up and down Sookie's arms. "Last thing I want to do is upset you, cher." He looked down at her from his impressive height, sorrow clouding those green eyes. "Tell me who it is, Sookie. Who means so much to you that you won't even say his name?"

The front door slammed open. Alcide dropped into a crouch, snarling. Before Sookie could so much reach one hand toward the Benelli, she was lifted bodily off her feet. When the sudden rush of movement stopped, she was on the other side of the table from Alcide, held up in the arms of Eric. He wore a black leather duster, cold from what must have been his flight to her house, along with a black T shirt and black jeans. The familiar bittersweet tangle of relief, happiness, consternation, and aggravation surged up inside Sookie.

"Hello, Eric. I believe you know Alcide Herveaux."

Eric's face was bone white. His eyes blazed. His thin lips were a straight, hard line. "Allow me to answer your question. The only man in Sookie's life is me."

"You?" Alcide straightened up to his full height, his face still set in that ferocious snarl. "I won't believe that until I hear it from Sookie herself!"

Eric glanced down at Sookie, then bent his head to brush his lips along the tracks of her tears. His expression softened for a moment as he licked his lips, then his scowl returned even darker.

"If you are the cause of Sookie's tears, 'shifter, you and I will have words outside."

Alcide's green eyes lit with rage. "I am a Were, damn you! More than that, I am Packmaster of the region where you reside."

"That might impress your furry little friends, but it's of no consequence at all to me."

"Eric!" Sookie struggled in his grip, trying to get her legs down. She might as well have been trapped in the grip of a marble statue. "The Weres were very good allies during the Witch War!"

"That is so much history."

"How did you know Alcide was here?"

"Bill called me the instant he sensed a Were approaching your house."

Sookie held back a groan. So she'd been right. The bodyguards were still on duty, and they'd been watching.

"Fortunately," Eric said, "I was already on my way here." Again that gentler expression crossed his pale features. "Such sorrow, Sookie. Such pain...."

He'd felt it. All the hurt churning inside her had reached him through the blood bond, and he'd come. Sookie closed her eyes and rested her head against Eric's shoulder. He kissed her hair, then turned a stern look on Alcide.

"Leave, 'shifter. You're not needed here."

"That's not up to you, vampire. Put the lady down and let her speak for herself."

Eric smiled, but his eyes blazed with rage. "Miss Stackhouse is quite comfortable where she is. Now leave or be removed."

"Excuse me?" Sookie rapped on Eric's broad chest the same way she might knock on a door. "This is my house, Eric. You mind your manners or I'll make you leave."

"That's an empty threat and you know it."

Now Sookie was well and truly angry. She glared up into Eric's blue eyes, sending him every bit of her fury.

"Put me down right this second."

Eric gave her the little smile that meant he was just humoring her, then shifted his grip, making her lower body slide down his until both her feet touched the floor. Sookie smacked his shoulder.

"Now you stop trying to provoke Alcide, or I really will rescind your invitation." She straightened her robe and tidied her ponytail. "Alcide hasn't said or done one thing outside the limits of a proper friendship."

"I didn't come here for friendship." Alcide took a step forward. "I want to stand between Sookie and everything that's bad for her, everything that wants to hurt her and use her and eat her alive."

Eric arched one golden brow. "If it's Miss Stackhouse's safety that concerns you, rest assured I can protect her. She's safe with me."

"Like hell she is! To you she's just the latest pretty face to catch your dead eye."

Eric smiled with real amusement. "He doesn't know yet, does he?"

Sookie sighed. "No, Eric. I was just about to tell him when you showed up."

"Tell him now, then." Eric pulled Sookie back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Tell the 'shifter why he'd do well to abandon any thought of ever making you his."

Alcide frowned. "Sookie? What has he done to you? Some kind of blackmail or something? Tell me!"

Sookie could sense Eric's enormous enjoyment of Alcide's distress. She wanted to haul off and slap him right upside his arrogant Viking head. Instead, she took a deep breath. "Alcide, the fact is, I am now married. To Eric."

Alcide's jaw dropped. He swayed, clutching at the back of Sookie's chair for support. The pain contorting his features made Sookie flinch and turn her face away.

"How--" Alcide shook his head. "Why--"

Eric pressed a kiss to Sookie's hair. "That is not your concern."

Alcide's jaw clamped shut. He growled, deep in his chest. Sookie didn't need to look up at Eric to know his fangs were out.

"You're impressing no one but yourself, 'shifter," Eric said. "Even when I was still human, I was killing wolves before I was ten years old."

"Laugh now, bloodsucker," Alcide snapped. He turned an anguished look on Sookie. "You say I need to be with my own kind? You should listen to your own advice, cher. Do you really think you can have any kind of happily ever after with a vampire?"

"That would be quite a step up from bestiality." Eric laid his right hand on Sookie's left shoulder, his brawny forearm crossing her chest in a gesture of possession and warning. "I suggest you take your pathetic case of puppy love and go find yourself some 'shifter b***h willing to have you."

Alcide's fists clenched. Sookie could tell he was seconds from violence. She threw out both hands.

"Alcide! Please! Don't give him a reason!"

Slowly, muscle by muscle, Alcide forced himself to relax. He reached out, picked up his glass of tea, and drained it swallow by swallow. He set it down, wiped his mouth on the back of one hand, then gave Sookie a smile.

"You will always be a Friend of the Pack, Sookie. I say this to you as Packmaster. Call on us whenever you're in need."

"Thank you, Alcide. I wish you the best, you know that."

"You are the best, cher. I just wish you'd do right by yourself." He shot a glare at Eric. "I go in peace for her sake, vampire, not because of any order from you."

Alcide turned toward the front door. Sookie started after him, but Eric's arms held her like iron.

"Let go of me! This man is my guest and I will see him to my door!"

Eric's arms fell away, but he stayed a step behind her as Sookie moved through the living room to open the front door for Alcide.

"Goodnight, Sookie. It was good to see you."

"Goodbye, 'shifter." Eric loomed over Sookie's shoulder. "This will be your last visit to Miss Stackhouse's home."

"That's not for you to say, vampire. Sookie belongs to herself, always has, always will."

Sookie watched Alcide walk down the porch steps, get into his car, and drive off. It never would have worked between them, for so many reasons, but at least Alcide realized that Sookie had to be free to live her own life her own way.

"I could feel the weight of your grief, my lover." Eric's voice, soft and low, just behind Sookie. He freed her ponytail and combed his long fingers down through her hair. "I was already on my way, even before the 'shifter appeared."

Sookie wanted to be angry at Eric, to throw him out and make him drive all the way back to Shreveport to face Pam's knowing smile. But she just couldn't stand being alone in the silence of her empty house, alone with all the memories that would never have a chance to become happy ones. She turned to Eric and put her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest.

"Thank you, Eric. I know it's not easy for you to get away, with the Vegas people hanging around."

"They know I will fulfill my commitments, just as they know they will suffer if they ever try to come between you and me."

Sookie looked up at him. "Eric, would you ever marry me? I mean, really marry me? White dress, flowers, bridesmaids, the works?"

"I think it would be best if you wore the dress, don't you?"

"Eric! I'm serious."

"You want to know if I would participate in the ceremony recognized by both legal and religious authorities as binding the two of us together in an exclusive relationship for the foreseeable future?"

"Complete with bridesmaids, ushers, lots of flowers, music, and held some place really nice and romantic. At night, of course."

Eric pulled Sookie over to the couch and seated himself, then drew her down onto his lap and settled her head against his shoulder.

"Hm," he mused. "Would you ask Pam to be a bridesmaid?"

"You think she'd accept?"

"I think she'd be deeply offended if she weren't given some significant role."

"You'd need a Best Man."

"I suppose it would be in poor taste to ask Bill?"

"You suppose right."

"Or Sam?"

"He might be willing to tend bar, but no, don't ask him to do that."

Eric stroked her hair, letting it sift through his fingers. "Tell me, my lover, do you have your heart set on this?"

"Not yet, no. The question just popped into my head."

"Good. You realize this would be a most peculiar wedding, and the guest list would read like the various factions in a world war."

Sookie thought about that. She'd have to invite Jason, since he was family. That got her thinking about Niall and Claude, who were also family. Fairies and vampires didn't mix. The vampires would love it, but the fairies might object to being thought of as part of the wedding buffet. Having seen Niall and Claude in battle, Sookie did not want to think about them going back to back against Eric, Clancy, Bill, and other Fangtasia staffers.

"It's not fair." Though her voice was the thinnest whisper, Sookie knew Eric heard her. More than that, he understood.

"I know, my lover. I know how much you've given up now that you've stepped into the territory of the supernatural beings. You've been part of it since your birth, but now you no longer have the innocence of childhood to shield you."

"I lost that early on, in more ways than one." Sookie closed her eyes, thinking of Uncle Bartlett and Bill's very final way of punishing him for what he'd done to Sookie.

Eric touched her chin and tilted her face up to his. "Dear one, beloved goddess, I cannot stand to see you so melancholy. I know I can distract you with the pleasures of the flesh, but I wish you'd tell me what I can do to ease your heart's pain."

Sookie pondered that for a few heartbeats. Eric couldn't give her back everything she'd lost. Maybe he could give her something else, something new. "What country were you from? Way back in the beginning?"

"Norway."

"Will you take me there sometime? Show me the sights, explain all the history to me, tell me about Viking ships and how you farmed then and what people did when they were celebrating something happy?"

Eric gazed down into her eyes. "I am not that man, Sookie. I have not been human for longer than you can imagine."

"This isn't about knowing who you were, Eric. I'd just like to travel. You know so much about the world because you've been in it for so long. I thought you could tell me all the really interesting stuff, all those strange but true little details you just can't find in guide books."

"This would make you happy?"

Sookie leaned against him and closed her eyes. "Well. If we can't have the wedding, we could at least have the honeymoon."

Sookie felt Eric's sudden surge of delight. He clasped her to him and buried his face in her hair.

"Sookie, my lover, constantly you amaze me with your cleverness."

"What? What did I say?"

"'Honeymoon' comes from the custom of a newly married couple drinking honey mead for a full 'moon,' or month, by which time they were sure to be over their shyness of each other and well on their way to being parents." Eric slid out from under her. With an agile twist of his long frame, he pinned her beneath him. "I haven't drunk mead in ages, but I can promise you the rest of the celebration!"

Babies again. She could not escape that idea tonight. Before the tide of sorrow could roll over her again and drag her back out into that dark sea, Eric kissed her, a long, slow, hot, lingering kiss that shut down all coherent thought. Sookie wrapped herself around him and gave as good as she got.


END