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 Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 10:23 am
One of those rare growls of irritation crept out of the female as she lashed out, sending a rock flying across the ground and into a tree. She felt tears in her eyes but furiously blinking them back, turning with a sigh and beginning to head back towards the pride. Why couldn't she hunt? She was just so shaky and uncertain and...and wrong. Was there something wrong with her? Coming to the edge of the woodlands used for hunting, she peeked out from behind the trees with a rather sad expression. She couldn't turn up without a kill! She'd never done that before!
Whimpering softly, Tuliua turned around again to head back into the woods. She couldn't turn up back in the den until she'd caught something. No matter how long it took.
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Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 11:08 am
"My sweet flower, whatever did that poor tree do to deserve such fury?" Faiz's deep voice asked in calm amusement as he stepped from behind another tree. He had been half-observing his little Tuliua for a bit now and knew her frustrations were because of her failing hunting abilities. Spying on her, though something he wasn't exactly proud of, was proving to be a very promising past time. It allowed him to see her when she wasn't controlling her words and actions as much as she did around him. It made him sad for her, wanting to wrap his paws around her and hold her when he heard that whimper, but in all honesty, he felt the best thing for it would be to lift her spirits rather than make physical contact.
He had a feeling physical contact with him was part of the problem.
He approached her slowly, his face changing from a small, amused smile to one of sincere concern.
"Tuliua, precious, is everything all right?" he asked gently, stopping just paw's reach from her.
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Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:42 pm
She physically jumped several centimetres into the air as she was surprised by Faiz's voice, backing away slightly, the beginnings of a defensive snarl forming on her face. Upon realizing it was him, however, she quickly wiped any aggression from her face, although the extra quivering brought on by his sudden appearance was still there, Tuliua physically shaking now. Noticeably, too.
Why'd he been watching her? Tired, afraid and rather stressed, she gave a long whine as she sank to her feet, feeling herself breaking down inside. She was falling apart - or at least, it felt like it. But why did he stop? Why wasn't he cuddling her, like he usually would? Perhaps he was disgusted at her - perhaps she'd done something wrong. "I-I-I sorry-y!" she choked out, still shaking as she pulled her paws in close, trying to warm her body. It just didn't help the shaking, though - because it wasn't the cold she was shaking because of.
"I...I-I-I...A-And..." she started numerous sentences, but just couldn't finish them. Deciding to quit trying, she swallowed, just watching the floor. She didn't want to meet Faiz's eyes.
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Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:51 pm
Faiz's blue eyes shot wider than few had probably ever seen them and he closed the distance between them in a speed far better suited on a much smaller, thinner creature. He was sitting at her sit in a heartbeat, pulling her up and into a tight hug in an attempt to stop her shacking.
"Good, gods, Tuliua," he breathed against her fur in slight disbelief, slowly shaking his head. Why did she do this to herself? His precious little flower would worry and shake herself to pieces if she kept this up. And he most certainly did not want that.
"Shhhhh, love," he hushed, closing his eyes. Somehow, deep inside, he knew this was his fault, and it tore him apart. He hated seeing his ladies upset, and he forever seemed to be the cause of it. That was his curse. Blessed to have a heart able to love so many, and yet cursed that he should be unable to prove so to those he cared about.
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Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:58 pm
She was afraid for a split second that he was just going to stand there, watching her. She was being rather pathetic, but she just couldn't help it! It was all just too much! She let out another sob until suddenly he was there beside her, hugging her tightly and allowing her to bury her head into his warm, soft fur. Her shakes grew slightly more intense as she sobbed silently into his fur, the silence only broken by the occasional whine or whimper.
Eventually his hushed words calmed her, shakes dying down until it was only a very light shiver - only noticeable since Faiz was right beside her. Sniffing a little, Tuliua allowed herself to glance out of his fur, peeking out with a small quiver. "I...s-s-sorry." she squeaked quietly, her voice showing she was still delicate. One wrong word would send her over. "I...Y-You...I-It's just t-too much."
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Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 2:10 pm
Faiz grit his teeth in pain at her shakes and sobs, feeling each one like a slash upon his heart. He had hurt her, after all, and he felt lower than the lowest creature in all the lands. He smiled sadly down at her when she pulled back to look up at him, dropping his paws from around her so he could use one for support. The other reached up, wiping the back across her cheek to dash the tears away.
"Please tell me, Tuliua. Keeping your inner turmoil to yourself only hurts you more, my little flower." His tone was soft and just a little hoarse, as if it was difficult for him to speak as well. And yet, no matter what the tone of voice, there was no disguising the fact that he was begging her to trust him. Fancy that, a Vizier and Emir of the Ukuucha, one of the most powerful males in the pride, begging this tiny female to trust him enough to share her pain, her troubles and worries, with him.
He knew what he was talking about, too. There were so many things he had no one to tell, not since the death of his mother. She had been the only one he trusted enough with the knowledge of his deep, inner feelings. Not even Aali knew the deep depths of his heart. No one would, he made sure of that. And yet there were days when he felt as if he were being torn apart from within by secrets and weights so heavy.
He didn't want his Tuliua, or any of his ladies for that matter, suffering as he did.
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Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 2:16 pm
She moved back a little as he reached out a paw, flinching as if she was afraid he was going to hurt her. She soon warmed to the touch, however, purring as she nuzzling him, hiding her face in his fur once again. Tell him? Tell him what? She'd only hurt him more if she did. But he seemed really upset now. She gave a low, soft whine, moving up to lick his cheek affectionately, nuzzling his cheek lightly.
"I...I-I wasn't..." she began, pausing to allow a shudder through her spine before she continued, eyes cast downwards in shame, "I...wasn't completely...r-ready, yesterd-day," she spoke, whispered even. She shivered again, determined not to look at Faiz. She was disgusted at herself - she was just making herself a burden for him. Maybe...maybe he should trade her away? She certainly didn't want him to, but it'd be best for him?
"I...w-what if something's gone w-wrong?" she mumbled, referring to the pregnancy and birth that was bound to occur soon. "I d-don't want to hurt anyone."
Like my parents hurt me she thought, though she kept it to herself.
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Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 8:30 am
Faiz sighed and moved to her side, resting his chin upon the top of her head. Deep down, he had known she wasn't. He had someone convinced himself that he had asked enough and she had given him enough yeses that it was okay to go with his instinct. He had been a fool to think that she was truly giving him consent because she wanted to.
He slowly shook his head back and forth a bit, rubbing his chin against her head.
"Whatever happens, you'll be fine, my sweet Tuliua," he assured her before pulling back to rub her cheek with his once before looking at her intently.
"Please, Tuliua. Try and be truthful with me. Nothing makes me happier than your honesty. If you are unsure or uncomfortable about something, tell me, no matter what my opinion on the matter," he asked, the pleading of his words reflecting in his eyes.
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Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 8:36 am
She flinched a little as he rested his chin on her head, though pushed her head up in an affectionate way. But then he moved, and she looked up to see him shaking his head before nuzzling her. It was a gentle, fond nuzzle, but the shake of his head worried her. He spoke soothing, reassuring words, but they didn't calm her quivers, Tuliua meekly looking to the ground again, nudging her paw against his. "B-But...what i-if I'm a rubbish mother?"
She didn't want her cubs to suffer because she wasn't experienced. And then he started...what was it? It wasn't exactly begging - pleading perhaps? She couldn't help but look up, watching the reflection of his words in his eyes that caused her to cower down, away from him in shame. "I...b-but you wanted them s-s-so much! I...I don't wan to make you unhappy."
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Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:09 am
Faiz actually gave her a slightly amused look at her first question.
"Why, because you've never done it?" he asked and gave her another nuzzle. "I helped my father and Almas raise Aali. I think with my help, you'd be fine, if you did need help at all."
The lion sighed and nuzzled her again, wishing his touch comforted her. He wanted to make her feel better, and he seemed to be doing a poor job of it at the moment.
"It's true, I would like children, but I would never want to have them with a female that did not, at the time. You being happy and safe, that makes me happy. You being distressed, especially when I'm the cause, makes me feel very low and selfish," he answered her honestly as he continued to nuzzle her. He was doing his best to be comforting, gentle and tender with her. She needed that, he was sure of it.
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Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 1:35 pm
His amused look caused her to blush furiously, keeping her eyes facing downwards, glaring almost angrily at the ground. She wouldn't look up - she was too ashamed to. Too embarrassed. She gave a small, tiny nod in response to his question, reaching down to lick his paws gently. He would help her? She purred softly, showing her gratitude and thankfulness for his reassurance as she move up, snuggling his shoulder.
She listened to his next words, feeling the shame build in her. So...by trying to please him, she'd actually hurt him!? Feeling tears coming to her eyes, Tuliua swallowed a lump, trying to hold them back as an all too familiar phrase cemerged from her mouth in a shaky tone of voice. "I-I-I s-s-s-s-sorry. I...I-I didn't mean to. I...I just want you to be happy."
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Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 1:59 pm
Faiz wanted to beat his head against one of the nearby trees. Maybe then he would learn what not to say and 'Liua could go through a day without him upsetting her.
"Shhh, shhh," he hushed, trying to calm his poor flower.
"I know you were, 'Liua, my sweet. And it did make me happy," he replied, pulling his head back and raising his paw to her chin to tilt it up so that he could look at her properly.
"But, it would make me even happier if you tell me your feelings, rather than saying or doing what you think will make me... happy... Well, I think I've just contradicted myself there," Faiz ended the statement looking rather thoughtful and amused over his slip. His smile turned soft and he returned his blue gaze to her.
"All contradictions aside, telling me what you would like, at least every once in a while, would make me very happy, Tuliua, even if it goes against what I want," he explained and immediately caught himself. "Of course, that doesn't mean you'll always get your way, there are some matters where my decision, my opinion rules, but... well, I imagine you've gotten the idea by now..."
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Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 2:08 pm
And now she'd made him upset! Oh, she was such a failure! She couldn't get anything right! Whining softly, she gave a longer one as he pulled her face up, averting her gaze from his eyes. She was too ashamed, too embarrassed. She didn't deserve him.
Wait? What was he saying? Confused, her eyes flickered up to his, forehead creasing just slightly to show her confusion as she watched his eyes. He had such pretty eyes - you could get lost in them so easily. But then he made a mistake, catching himself quickly and making himself look a little silly. And...she smiled. A bright, cheerful smile that he probably hadn't seen in a while. Nudging closer, she snuggled into him, nuzzling his cheek fondly.
"I...o-okay," she spoke, watching him carefully. Maybe she should give this a try. Just this once. "I....I-i'd really like it if I could not have to hunt today? I...I-I don't think I can..." she spoke, trailing off a little as she looked to the floor again. Despite the progress that had been made, she was still quivering, "And...And I'd really like a hug, sir."
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Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 2:28 pm
The laugh that Faiz originally intended to laugh came out only as a chuckle, not wanting to be to amused at his lovely lioness.
"Ah, both wishes I am entirely supportive of granting," he replied, wrapping one paw around her shoulders to give her a long, tender hug. He even added a little lick to the side of her muzzle for good measure.
He pulled back just enough to look down at her, tilting his head to one side a bit.
"What does my flower want to do then? Perhaps a stroll by the lake? A bit of cuddling? Or do you wish a day to yourself? These are merely suggestions, sweet 'Liua. My ears are quite open."
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Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 2:31 pm
She purred the loudest she ever had, her whole body practically vibrating as she did so, leaning against Faiz with her eyes closed, enjoying the moment. Her mouth was stretched into a content smile as she lay there for several moments, just wishing it wouldn't end.
But, inevitably, it did. She beamed a smile up at Faiz, liking his face affectionately before her ears twitched as she listened to her ideas. A thoughtful expression crossed her face, Tuliua's smile faltering as a thoughtful frown crossed her face, before it returned back with her smile. "A walk by the lake sounds...sounds really nice. Please."
She never was one to forget her manners.
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