Screw being happy and cheerful. Screw Irit's persistent optimism. Screw Narci's constant 'why are we doing this for a girl.' SCREW IT ALL. Tama flopped into the grasses. He HATED this. Thinking about her made him happy and depressed at the same time. And guilty. Oh gods so guilty. He'd hurt her. He hadn't wanted to hurt her! He'd been trying to HELP her. To give her a chance to find someone better than him.
He sighed and hid his head under his paws. He was doomed to screw up. He'd screwed up something so...perfect in his life. Even Irit had liked Muscail! She had to, or she wouldn't have bothered dragging him out of their home and deal with Narci. And in all their searching...no more than a cold trace of her scent. This area was the warmest they'd been in weeks. And it was still an OLD scent.
It had been a few moon cycles, maybe longer since Múscail had last seen him. And to make matters worse, even though she and Codail had settles into the Mistweavers, the visions hadn't stopped. The lioness was beginning to suspect that maybe, just maybe, these weren't the lands her visions had intended her to arrive in. The thought was always brief - both she and her sister had a large group of cubs to care for. It wasn't like they could just set out on another journey to find the lands she dreamt of...
With a low sigh, the lioness wandered forward. It had been a long time since she'd been this far out of the lands...
Tama, in his moping, didn't even notice he wasn't all that alone anymore until the wind blew a scent to him. A very familiar, long-sought for scent. Blue eyes wide, he immediately stood, nearly tripping over himself in the effort. "Muscail?" He looked around, and spotted a pale form not too far away.
Grinning in relief, he started towards the form. "Muscail!" Now, he could at least say how sorry he was...Even if she rejected him again, he had that CHANCE now.
The all too familiar voice on the wind caused Múscail's ears to perk. For a long moment, she though her mind was playing tricks on her. Tama was supposed to be in the Pridelands! She wouldn't have believed her ears were it not for her turning around and seeing the pale figure before her. Blue eyes widened slightly, and a slow smile found it's way onto her face.
"Tama! What are you doing so far from home?" she asked softly.
Tama stopped not far in front of her, just glad to see her again. He'd missed her so damn much. "I...I came looking for you." He bowed his head. The white lion looked tired and a bit scraggly. "I screwed up, Muscail. I screwed up so bad. I...I hurt you, and I made me miserable...Irit and Narci couldn't take me being miserable, so they dragged me out to find you."
He laughed sadly. "I thought it was stupid at first...that what I'd done was for the best. But..." He looked up a bit, head still bowed. "I was wrong, Muscail. You're your own lioness, and who is good enough for you is your decision, and no one else's. I'm so sorry for what I did."
Múscail was silent for a long moment, merely listening to everything Tama had to say. And when he was finally done, she smiled and stepped forward, nudging his shoulder gently with the tip of her nose.
"I forgive you, Tama. You don't have any idea how much I missed you," she murmured softly, licking the lion's fur happily.
He...he was forgiven? He was stunned a moment...and then nuzzled her neck happily. "I missed you so much, Muscail. It...it was torture, not being near you." He was silent, enjoying the simple feel of her near, the scent of her. "How are the cubs?"
"I missed you too, Tama," Múscail replied, smiling and nuzzling back. At the mention of the cubs, she smiled lightly. "They're doing very well... I met up with Codail again too! Right after I left the Pridelands... But we're going to be moving again soon. The mists aren't the ones I saw... And it seems like we aren't the only ones thinking about moving... Many of the lions are considering going to new lands."
Tama blinked. So...she'd found her sister! "That's wonderful! That you found your sister. You used to look so...lost when you mentioned her." He smiled sadly, hoping he'd never see that look in her eyes again. Tama stood proud now. "Well then...I'll go with you! Help you and your sister with the little ones, and help keep you fed!" He was a great hunter...all speed and silence when it was needed.
"Are you sure? It could take you really far from the Pridelands. I don't know how far away the lands are," Múscail replied, smiling gently at Tama and pulling back to look him in the eye.
Tama nodded. "I won't loose you again. And...I can always visit my family. They'll understand." He hoped they would understand. "And...maybe I can even convince Narci to help out. At least for a little." He really couldn't think of life without the black lion. He'd become too much a part of his life.
"Well let's hope Narci doesn't mind leaving the Pridelands," Múscail said softly, laughing and shifting to press her nose against Tama's.
Tama nodded and laughed with her. "Let's hope." Finally, Tama could feel things going right. He had Muscail again. And nothing would separate them again. Not distance, or his stupidity, or family...Because she was his, and he was hers.
Múscail could only smile softly at Tama's words, and after a long moment she moved to playfully tug on the lion's ear. "C'mon, goof. Let's go tell the cubs they have a new dad..."
