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 Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 8:01 pm
I posted this in the GGBBG, since most of you can't view it, I decided to post it here. and NO I'm not suicidal. I'm just really ******** pissed right now....
So, I just had all of my friends over for a gaming party. We had six tvs going with different games and crap. Fun stuff. My mom had music and stuff blasting everyone was having a good time. The guy I've always had a crush on pulled me aside and said, 'Hey, do you have somewhere quiet we can talk?I need to talk to you." So we went outside and he started talking about how he was going through some stuff and then he came out to me. I was soo like.."Omg, tell him now." But my other friend, David had stepped outside for a smoke and was on the other side of the wall the entire time. David knows I'm gay, but Alex didn't. David was being a buttface tonight...he turns over and says..."Really? Oh my god, I'v always had this crush on you and for you to finally come out is like, you know."
Shattered...All of my freaking everything is shattered. Everything has fallen into a myriad of blood-stained glass around me and the one fragment I held to for three years has shattered into my ******** face. The party's over and the night is done. I'm done with affections really...how many times must your heart be wrenched violently from your chest and jarred against the wall before you realize...You were meant to be asexual! When you're so unappealing to both sexes it's really sad. Maybe I'm just good for putting people together, because that seems to happen alot in front of my face..
"Oh I'm out of the closet now , Dani! But wait! Here comes David!" "Alex, i'm gay too! But Dani actually likes you, but I'm a b***h A GODDAMN b***h! b***h!!!!" UGH!! I'm so fed up and done...I want tcollege to come so I can leave this damned town so bad....then I won't have to see any more of my stolen crushes...
TLDR: GTFO b***h! DOn't even bother wasting my damn time!
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Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 8:17 pm
I know how you feel a friend i've had my eyes and heart on for a while had said he wa bi likeme and i asked him if we could go out and ten minutes later hes next to me and we are eating lunch and a former friend of mine we call her Kyo but lets cal har X-1.
So X-1 come along and asks him out and he says yes i pull him aside and ask him why and he said that he had never really liked me and that he wished i would have never even talked to him....which really hurts because i always said hi and hows it going...he took my heart from me and threw it away, and now i have Long Distance Relationships and well this eseems ot gpo better for me all the time.
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Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 8:29 pm
So what are you going to do from here?
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Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 12:31 pm
Confused4life So what are you going to do from here? I decided to tell him how I felt anyways, but he says he;s happy with David. -rollseyes- I found out I wouldn't have wanted him after all, they had sex last night and I'm like...wow...You just start a relationship off and on the first night you have sex. That would have been too fast for me. So maybe there was a reason David was there. To save me from making a mistake.
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Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 1:19 pm
wow, he sounds like a slutboy...
you may have dodged a bullet there
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Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 1:57 pm
Thats sounds rough man. I totally feel you on the asexual thing. At times I feel its a curse and at others a blessing. When I see couples blissfully in love I am envious but when I see couples grow apart or becoming bored with each other I feel thankful that I am on my own.
I understand myself better than anyone. If I could create a mirror of myself I would totally take them for my love. The same insecurities, pet peeves,passions. I think it could work. lol
I pretty soon Im going to take a more direct approach though.
I don't want to be over the hill just to have never tried.
I'm hoping I can find someone who fits with me well but I'm going to make it a point to never just settle.
On the same token Im going to be realistic about it.
I hope you are'nt too depressed. It sounds like you are though... just know that alot of us feel your pain.
Messege me if you want to talk about it further ,I'd be happy to chat though I might have double the doom and gloom to offer lol. I'm a very cynical person but I cherish the good times like gold.
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Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:20 pm
)igital~)evil Thats sounds rough man. I totally feel you on the asexual thing. At times I feel its a curse and at others a blessing. When I see couples blissfully in love I am envious but when I see couples grow apart or becoming bored with each other I feel thankful that I am on my own. I understand myself better than anyone. If I could create a mirror of myself I would totally take them for my love. The same insecurities, pet peeves,passions. I think it could work. lol I pretty soon Im going to take a more direct approach though. I don't want to be over the hill just to have never tried. I'm hoping I can find someone who fits with me well but I'm going to make it a point to never just settle. On the same token Im going to be realistic about it. I hope you are'nt too depressed. It sounds like you are though... just know that alot of us feel your pain. Messege me if you want to talk about it further ,I'd be happy to chat though I might have double the doom and gloom to offer lol. I'm a very cynical person but I cherish the good times like gold. I'm kinda over it now, I played a little bit of Sims and made me get a boyfriend. Haha (sad) But I feel better knowing that they both are rushing, cause, those relationships never go well anyways and I wouldn't have liked that. It's just so stressing ya know...like..WHO IS THE RIGHT ONE!?!? My cousin said, hopefully I'll meet someone at college, but I'm kinda scared about that. heh heh sweatdrop Thanks guys with all your posts on the matter. I'm done with the whole thing. I'll just have to be patient and wait for the one guy. ^_^
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Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 3:41 am
not much I can say but good luck my friend.. wish I could say I understand how you feel but I'm to new at this.. sry sad
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