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 Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 6:16 pm
So my friend just told me that today, we got into a slight arguement over something he did and when I came back he said we had to talk. After a few moments of nothingness he said we should stop talking and it'd be easier on me. Now, this friend is also my exboyfriend, we've been friends for a few years and dated over the summer. Fifteen minutes went by and he said he was sorry and we exchanged sorrys and so on. Later he said we should only talk when we need partners in our one class. He talked to my friend and told him:
i wouldnt have asked her out, if she only wouldn't have said yes because im not talking to her anymore. im not someone she can fall back on when she gets sad you can tell her the following i dont want to be friends im not going to go out with her again and i have wanted this to happen for a long time, im tired of the games.
So I burst into tears for the second time today and ran out of my house to go destroy something or get away from it all. I don't understand.... I know he's mad that I seem like I'm leading him on and all but I'm not trying to. I wish he could just be my friend. I also wish I didn't date him. I can't change who I like and who I don't like in what ways. I feel so crappy and lost without him being there for me... as my friend. I wish he understood that. I just feel like curling up into a ball and dying. Can someone make sense out of this? I don't know what to ask or anything, I just want help.
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Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 2:50 pm
You have my empathy.
If you don't know why he's behaving like this, why not ask him or one of his friends? It seems like a pretty rude thing to say. Would it seriously hurt him you if you two keep in contact? You could try cornering him and demand he listen to you and hear you out.
I'm not accusing you, but is there anything you did that might have really upset or bothered him? Guys can be really unforgiving. I learned that the hard way.
I hope it goes well for you.
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Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 4:55 pm
hum... seems kinda weird to me that he's be bothered by the fact that you talk to him about your problems and fall back on him. Any good friend would want that. There has to be something else going on. To me it sounds like something is missing. Nothing with you, with him. Like he has some other reason to not talk to you and he's not saying it.
Well my advice would be to ask him about it, but then he's not going to talk to you, so I'm sorry, but I dont' know what you can do except just accept it and just try and move on.
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Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 6:19 pm
He knows I like some guy, that's all I can think of. I know he still loves me but I told him I didn't want to go back out with him because I'm almost 100% sure we'd break up and he'd be really hurt about it. I think slight rejection is better than a bad break up. It's like a lose-lose situation. I guess he's mad because I won't date him but I know we'll most likely hate each other if we break up. Should I just wait and see if he gets over whatever upset him...? Or should I just leave him alone and let him be? I don't know.
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Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 7:59 pm
You're getting off easy. I mean, this guy just doesn't want to deal with you, many guys will do much more vindictive things to the girls they break up with.
Like what I did to my first girlfriend...
You see, at the time I was an editor on my school newspaper...and had my own column. Well... one thing led to another, and I completely defiled her name by abusing the power I had at my fingertips. Not only did people hate her, but they also felt compassion toward me. It was nice.
So, next time you think about being upset that he doesn't want to be your friend, you should be happy that he's not out to ruin your life.
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Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 10:12 pm
O_o` Being 'friends' after a breakup is hard, especially when you're the one dumped. If what his friend told you was true than he probably thought, at least a little, that there was a chance that you two could get back together.
When you think about it, what would you do in that situaion? You've been dumped but your ex still wants to be friends. Now, you said that he's still in love with you and wants to get back together but you've told him that you never will... If I were him I'd have dropped our friendship too. There's only so much people can take before they give up and have to move on with what's left.
Wanting to be friends, as it was pointed out to me today, after a relationship is just adding insult to injury and now I get it. It's difficult enough to have to deal with the relationship itself and then also having to deal with the fact that the person that you want to be with is always leaning on you but doesn't want to be with you and is so open about that fact.
It's difficult, but if he doesn't want to be around you than you'll have to respect that. It sucks, but you can't just force someone to be your friend, they have to want to be there for you. They have to want to be around you. If you think though, that there's a chance that you two could still be some-what friends than go talk to him instead of asking us to comfort you.
<3
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