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 Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 1:19 pm
What I ask for Well I'll have to ask for no flaming because all of the things I do aren't the smartest or legal to say the least. Comments are appreciated but don't point things that are obvious out unless you think I really don't realize it. It's just an insult to my intelligence if you point out the obvious. Don't be rude either, don't try to change my life, don't try to make my decision for me. I appreciate all suggestions, but don't keep hounding them on me. I got it the first time. Sorry if all of this seems a bit rude, but it's straightforward and that's how it has to be in my life. Especially with the things I do and the people I'm with.
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Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 1:34 pm
Background information Name- Emily Preferred name on Gaia- Karu Age- 15 Gender- Female Race- Asian (Cambodian) Unique thing about me- I can't stand being around Asians. I'm more American than Asian. Everyone who knows me in real life knows that. However, I do like making friends with Asians on the internet. I'm also very formal. I like- Photography, reading, all types of music Soft spots about me- It hurts me being called annoying. All my past boyfriends that meant the world to me called me annoying and now I fear being annoying to anyone. Stepping stones in my life- 7th grade, met a guy named Tyler. I was deeply infatuated with him and I never realized how much of an a** he was. Well I was in too deep for him and I went suicidal because he hurt me so much. How did I get over being suicidal? I met my ex-fiancee. I went through more stuff with him than most people do in a year. We've ended now of course, but I still have his ring and we're good friends. I met Scott through my bro (best friend) Spencer. Scott, I've known him since elementary school and we fell for each other. He's the next boyfriend I had after my ex-fiancee dumped me for the third time because he had to, and I quote, "focus more in school". After a little more than a month Scott broke up with me for the exact same reason and I went farther with him than any guy. I hid behind books, reading them when I was about to cry and that stopped the tears. Somehow that held all the emotions in me, someone could have died and I wouldn't have cared. After being sick of not feeling any emotion, and pretty much spazzing out over every little thing, I began to smoke marijuana. No, it is not because I want to be a cool kid. That's ******** retarded. I'm not a major druggie, I don't smoke all the time. In fact, I try smoking as least as possible.
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Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 1:45 pm
Well then, I never really thought I wouldn't have a choice for real. But talking to my mother has proved me utterly wrong.
Guess what?
I told her I didn't want to volunteer at a hospital, and that's saying a lot because I usual do what she tells me to. Saying what I want to do is a huge step for me. She knows that I want to volunteer at an animal shelter with my friend and take photography classes.
She's not even TRYING to let me do what I want. Wanna know what she said?
I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE ABOUT THE HOSPITAL.
The fact that she actually said it, that those exact words came out of her mouth. They bring tears to my eyes. I don't fully know why yet, but they do.
Oh and my friend Myles, I like him but I have a gut feeling that it won't work out for us. We'd be better off as friends.
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Posted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 12:05 pm
Friday June 5- Okay, so I'm actually able to work with my mom on Fridays and Mondays, cool =D I got a free eye doctor! My mom and him are bartering. She cuts his hair for free and I get free glasses and eye checkups. Yay!
Sunday June 7- I went to Brittany's house. It was so much fun. We mostly just walked around the lake and talked and listened to music. We gave her hamster Peaches two baby carrots and she stuff em in her mouth! It was so funny!! I love her pitbulls, they're such lovely creatures. Haha, they approved of me because they kept licking me and wanting my attention. I seem to be an animal person =]
Also Brittany picked up a leechee fruit somewhere and she had no idea what it was. It was funny when I told her I knew what it was, she just stared at me and she said "..Asians!" xD Priceless.
Sunday June 7, 11PM- Myles started texting me after boating with his best friend. He said he had something to confess and I was texting my best friend Katie at the time as well and I'm like "Oh god, Myles is gonna confess that he doesn't like me in any sort of way" I wasn't sad or anything, it happens, that's life.
Then he gave me four messages of what his view of a dream relationship was and he was most nervous confessing about the sex part. (Is it really so bad for a man to be a virgin? Lol xD)
And I'm just like, "So I'm not the girl for you because I won't have sex?" and he's like "No, I don't want a girl to just have sex with. I want to be proud of our relationship and be open with her about everything and I fully believe that you're that girl"
God you should have seen me. I was cracking up at first because he thought I'd be repulsed because of his sex confessions but it just made my night that I thought I couldn't even turn him on (he confessed that to me earlier sometime before) and now I'm his dream girl!? Only me, only me xD
I was FREAKING OUT, on Katie. And she's just like "Damn girl! I'm about to call you right now to see what's up!" and I called her and filled her in. I mean, it wasn't funny when I'm telling someone else. I don't know, it was just HILARIOUS to me.
Monday June 8- So I texted Katie and Myles till 3 in the morning. Myles fell asleep on me though and then my mom almost caught me texting that late (or early, however you look at it) so I had to stop and I fell asleep. Today is the last day before Myles has to go on a road trip around America with his brother whose coming home tomorrow from the army or something. He'll be gone for a month so I squeezed out of work because I'm hoping to see him, but that obviously isn't happening. My brother's home, and we have nowhere to hang out in private.
I think we're going out, I mean, we haven't asked each other directly but we act like it. I haven't brought up the nerves to ask him if we are yet. Funny huh? I'll ask him right now =]
Edit: Okay so we're not dating, he says he's gonna ask me the next time he sees me though =]
He said I'd have to wait and I took it as a challenge so now I have to be utterly irresistible xD Ahh, I have no idea why I'm being so immature lol.
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Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:02 am
So it's Tuesday! And it's also 9:58 in the morning. I woke up some time ago around 8:20 but I always stay in bed. I checked my phone which I put on silent, and Lucky called! I feel so bad that I missed her call ;_; We still have Gaia so that's always good =]
Myles' brother comes home today, so he'll be busy and I won't try to talk to him. David called yesterday =] Yay! It's good knowing he's alright, I was so worried about that probation. I'm hoping I'll be able to see him today or sometime this week =]
And Spencer left with his family to go somewhere but he's back now and he has my cell number =D Hopefully we'll be able to hang out some this summer. All parents seem to like me, woot! =3
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Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 9:12 am
Wednesday June 10- Well I found out one thing yesterday. Only David would call you at 9 at night to ask if you needed some stuff. Funny stuff, I was cracking up xD
I texted Myles at night yesterday as well and he replied two hours later. Apparently that being irresistible challenge had me on his mind all day which is what I aimed for =3 I think it's cute how I stay up so late and he seems to fall asleep in the middle of us texting 4laugh
I got bored and texted Katie (my bestest friend in the whole wide world) and asked if she was awake and she was like "Nooo goo awaayyyy" That made my night/early morning.
And finally today! Well it's just the afternoon and Myles seems to be busy again. I'm hoping if he replies in time we could hang but I doubt that'll happen =/
So today all I can see is playing games and cleaning the house. Well whatever works =]
Aww dang, I did these amazing drawings in the beginning of the year (school year) but I can't find them now. I must of threw them away. I'm getting into drawing again =D It's not good, but I'm working on it!
I epic failed today!
I was so thirsty so I grabbed a lipton tea bottle. Now let me tell you, I've ALWAYS had a problem with opening bottles. So much so today that it's torn off some skin from my palm. I was so frustrated and thirsty that I threw the bottle on the ground. Some tea sprayed on my leg so I checked where it opened and it cracked at the bottom! So now I'm drinking tea from the bottom of the bottle...xD!
Seems like I can't hang out with Myles today but that's fine =] I'm happy enough with talking to him heart
*sigh* Well it seems I could have hanged out with him but that's not what's frustrating me. Or just saddening me a bit. He was talking to me after he smoked with his friend and he was high. I dunno, he was off (well gee I wonder why?)
But I mean, I don't like talking to him like that. He's not the same Myles that I know and love. And I know that this is going to be one thing of our future relationship that'll irritate/actually cause uneasiness in it and that's him always smoking so much. (Though there's also him being very social and the type of guy that has more girl friends than guy friends...)
What have I gotten myself into? I'm in this crowd that I know I shouldn't be in. But I'm not friends with them because they're in the crowd. I'm friends with them because they're amazing people. I've known them before they've done drugs. And they haven't changed much, not in personality. They're the same everyday people with the same amazing personality and friendship.
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Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 5:43 pm
Thursday June 11- He's just not the same! I definitely know somethings off now without him on drugs. He's just so blunt and not descriptive and non-caring. That's not him.
I'm gonna back off and see what happens. I don't know. He's just been on my mind since we basically agreed to being boyfriend and girlfriend but not asking officially. This sucks. Well whatever, sad how he's the only thing I can pretty much recall this whole day.
Hmm (trying of other things) I've made a new friend today who I can call Ami or Kayla =] Kyo is being a weirdo and I'm just kind of tired of him now. I really wouldn't mind if we got into a fight.
I hate how whenever I see Scott I have two reactions at the same time: Ugh! and He's so cute...
Bleh! Jerk only wanted to stay friends with me for the weed that I started because of him. >_>
Pikachu is creeping me out too. It's too obvious that he's desperate for me and he just has no clue whatsoever on what he does. (I can go on forever ranting on him but I won't) Poor guy, I know he tries to be a good person.
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Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 5:22 pm
I haven't been able to get on the computer with my mom's work and being pooped out sitting there all day. I just want to move around and do stuff!
Sometime~ Myles was down because his brother's leave is half as long therefore he can't go on the road trip which was the highlight of his summer. He's also been blunt because he's been hanging out with friends.
Sometime after?~ My mom's customers are very social =] They were making fun of me and saying that since I'm mostly friends with guys if he was a girl he'd hate me too because I'd have all the guys talking to me. Also my mom actually jokes with me and says that I'm with her and I'll try to hook up with coast guard guys and I'm just like "That's a bit illegal..." xD
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Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 5:38 pm
A day I'll never forget June 14, 2009- Well every Sunday I try and hang out with my friends. Just so happens that my best friend Katie and I were going to hang out this day and we were going to the beach. We tried rounding up a bunch of our friends but only Robby came. Haven't seen him in forever, I missed that kid. Apparently her whole family was going to the beach as well which was a-okay with me. Now let me remind you as this is a huge part of the... situation. I don't know how to swim. But let me get to the point of what I'll never forget. A close call Katie, Robby and I were out in the water and I was trying to learn how to float and whatnot (the waters were choppy today) and Robby (though he thoroughly regrets it) suggested that we got to the sandbar but we have to pass deeper water before that. Me (being the person who can almost never say no) agreed since it seemed like a short distance and I trusted Robby and held on to him as we tried our way to the sandbar. I mean, I've always heard of sandbars, apparently they're really cool places were everyone at the beach wants to go hang out. *italics = the main event* Katie realized that we wouldn't make it and said that we should turn back. Me, being panic driven, held around Robby's throat too tightly which I tried so much not to.
When we turned around Robby and I lost touch, he let go of me. I remember trying to reach out for him and I guess I knew that I was ******** so I must of taken a deep breath before I went under. I remember hearing Katie yell for someone (Sam) as I was under water. I was terrified (I don't know adjectives that can fully convey how I felt) but I kept kicking. Kept going.
I remember wanting, NEEDING, to breath so stupidly I took a huge gulp of salt water. And of course once I did that I said to myself, 'Well that was stupid' (Funny how you're fully conscious when you're in this kind of situation)
I remember letting go and just not trying anymore, then I got PISSED at myself and I thought 'I'll be damned if I live through this and know that I gave up!' So I kept kicking, I kept fighting. Because that's how I'm gonna go out if I do.
Keep in mind, I don't know if I'm kicking myself down or up. You don't know which way is up, down, forward, or backward. I could have certainly screwed myself over. But the hell if I gave up!
I remember feeling people trying to reach me and desperately extending my arm to grab onto them. I also remember that throughout this ordeal I thought of Bella when she jumped off the cliff and was drowning herself (what an odd girl I am)Edit: I'll finish this later. I want to put as much details as possible. I'll edit everything in.
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Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 7:28 am
Karunoshi I epic failed today! I was so thirsty so I grabbed a lipton tea bottle. Now let me tell you, I've ALWAYS had a problem with opening bottles. So much so today that it's torn off some skin from my palm. I was so frustrated and thirsty that I threw the bottle on the ground. Some tea sprayed on my leg so I checked where it opened and it cracked at the bottom! So now I'm drinking tea from the bottom of the bottle...xD! That is freaking hilarious! rofl ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sorry you had such a scary close call. I'm really glad that you're alright.
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Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 5:50 am
Yea, usually after some time the bottle would give but this one didn't. In fact it's right behind me right now upside down in the bottle holder on the treadmill-ish thing to remind me of my epic failure!
Yeah, thank god everyone is alright. It's just one of those events where you realize that if a few seconds changed here and there things would have been completely different, you know?
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Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 3:16 pm
Holy crud, haven't been here in some time. Sorry about that.
-My brother takes over the computer so much. That compy hog! Ugh!
-I'm a major book worm, I've finished about five or six books in two days. Woot go me!
-Someone is making an herbal drink for me (Asian, right?) so I'd stay young. And lord do I believe him that it'd work! He's around 80 years old and he looks 50! Plus another guy that took the herbal looks 30 but he's 50!
--Awesome thing is that it's a type of drink and they take measurements and it's based entirely on you. And you can only drink it once in your life (though it's separated into doses over days). If you try to drink more than you're given then you're body will reject it and it just won't work.
-Coast Guard guys are kuyute~ (cute). My mom works in a government owned building on a Coast Guard base or something so they come in and get their hair cuts. Made me realize that buzz cuts and razor cuts and whatnot aren't that bad. Though it's amazing how much the guy can change in appearance. And they're all so funny too!
Oh wowzers! I just made a bump thread for Miscellaneous Musings and I can't believe I thought of writing a part of a story in each bump and including the number bump I'm on in it. Awesome! Not only am I writing again (woot!) but I'm also getting gold and being creative. Sweet!
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Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 3:03 pm
Thursday July 9,2009-
I'm getting my glasses soon! I have horrible eyesight (24/60 if a normal person is standing 60 feet from something I have to be 24 feet away from it to see the exact same thing they're seeing) and I should get them soon since they're ready.
They're gonna be transitional and uber cool! Talk about setting a trend in high school. I'm gonna put them glasses into style and also bring back casual dating cool
Talking about dating rolleyes So remember my crazy times about Myles. Well since his brother came I texted him less (after he confessed that he didn't think we would work out because I stated that I won't have sex with a guy before we're in a relationship) and guess what he did not too long ago!
So, he asks if he hurt me (because he felt like he wasted my time when we didn't go out) and then at midnight he asked me if I wanted a picture of his male reproductive tool!!!
WTF???
So we went on talking and apparently he was pissed at his girlfriend at the time but he said he deserved it because he was being a butthole (but saying a cruder word)
The lowdown: No way am I going to let things happen between us. If he could do that to his girlfriend, there's no doubt in my mind he would do that to me if we ever got into a fight.
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 7:34 am
Friday July 10, 2009- (AKA THE MOST FUN I'VE EVER HAD SO FAR)
(reserved for my long butt ranting!)
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Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 7:30 pm
Sunday July 12, 2009
Okay, so yesterday I started writing in my notebook diary again. Why? Because my mother dearest pissed me off. Ever since Friday when she's seen my friends, Pikachu and Sirus (the ones who are more extreme in gothic attire), she been pissed at every little thing since.
So today, I didn't get out of bed until 1 in the afternoon because I just want to avoid her so bad. Of course she had to yank the sheet off of me and stare at me like I'm stupid.
So tonight after doing things that I USUALLY do (help with the food, la di da) she started being nice to me again. I remember before that I was the one that caved first, but I think since then I've made it to be HER to cave first.
I can hold a grudge, let me tell you that. And when I make a mistake, I made darn sure I don't do it again. The mistake I'm talking about in this instance was when I caved first.
Brittany called me and she might be able to go to the movies to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, and we sort of planned to go there together. Okay, not sort of, we kind of depended on each other. Since mother dearest is easing up on me I think I might ask to go to the movies with my NON-GOTH friend that she has MET BEFORE and we're even going in the DAYTIME.
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