Quote:
The Latest Obama Jokes
(Contributed or inspired by readers.)
General Motors has announced a plan to use its bail out money to acquire China-made vehicles to sell in the United States. They'll be called Obamobiles.
Tip o'the hat to Kirk
Have you heard about the new Obama flavor-changing Kool-Aid? Just add polling data!
Tip o'the hat to Sharon
This marks the first time a President has given a press conference to remind us to wash our hands. He actually held a town hall meeting before that. It’s now a toss-up; who’s on TV more – Barack Obama or the Sham Wow Guy?
Tip o'the hat to Rocky D
It was once said that an African-American would become president "when pigs fly." Well, 100 days into the Obama presidency... Swine Flu!
Tip o'the hat to Susanna, Borat, Allen, Teresa and Jill
A woman in a hot-air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going.. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."
Tip o'the hat to David T.
Q. Obama and Biden decided to take an excursion through the Grand Canyon riding a donkey. The donkey became spooked along the path and fell off. Who was saved?
A. Obama and Biden. They both landed on their egos.
Tip o'the hat to Carter
OBAMA
O ne
B ig
A wful
M istake
A merica
Tip o'the hat to Chad
Q. Obama and Hillary Clinton are trapped in a life raft in the middle of the ocean. Who survives?
A. The one who doesn't fall asleep first.
Tip o'the hat to Alex
Q. What's the difference between Obama giving a speech and a cardboard cutout of Obama giving a speech?
A. The cardboard cutout looks at the camera instead of the teleprompter.
Tip o'the hat to Vince
(Contributed or inspired by readers.)
General Motors has announced a plan to use its bail out money to acquire China-made vehicles to sell in the United States. They'll be called Obamobiles.
Tip o'the hat to Kirk
Have you heard about the new Obama flavor-changing Kool-Aid? Just add polling data!
Tip o'the hat to Sharon
This marks the first time a President has given a press conference to remind us to wash our hands. He actually held a town hall meeting before that. It’s now a toss-up; who’s on TV more – Barack Obama or the Sham Wow Guy?
Tip o'the hat to Rocky D
It was once said that an African-American would become president "when pigs fly." Well, 100 days into the Obama presidency... Swine Flu!
Tip o'the hat to Susanna, Borat, Allen, Teresa and Jill
A woman in a hot-air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going.. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."
Tip o'the hat to David T.
Q. Obama and Biden decided to take an excursion through the Grand Canyon riding a donkey. The donkey became spooked along the path and fell off. Who was saved?
A. Obama and Biden. They both landed on their egos.
Tip o'the hat to Carter
OBAMA
O ne
B ig
A wful
M istake
A merica
Tip o'the hat to Chad
Q. Obama and Hillary Clinton are trapped in a life raft in the middle of the ocean. Who survives?
A. The one who doesn't fall asleep first.
Tip o'the hat to Alex
Q. What's the difference between Obama giving a speech and a cardboard cutout of Obama giving a speech?
A. The cardboard cutout looks at the camera instead of the teleprompter.
Tip o'the hat to Vince
