Staying with crazed partisan politics, it's no secret that America is currently in political turmoil. The White House is embroiled in scandal upon scandal, an unpopular (and seemingly unending) war, to say nothing of the massive Blue & Red State schism. As a people, we have rarely been so divided.
However, there is hope on the horizon. A presidential candidate for the 2008 election has picked up a massive online following not seen since the early days of "Howling" Howard Dean. His name?
General Zod, of Krypton.
On his website (http://www.zod2008.com/), General Zod has left the following message to the American people:
When I first came to your planet and demanded your homes, property and very lives, I didn't know you were already doing so, willingly, with your own government. I can win no tribute from a bankrupted nation populated by feeble flag-waving plebeians. In 2008 I shall restore your dignity and make you servants worthy of my rule. This new government shall become a tool of my oppression. Instead of hidden agendas and waffling policies, I offer you direct candor and brutal certainty. I only ask for your tribute, your lives, and your vote.
The General clarified his plans at his campaign launch in Philadelphia.
Listen to me, people of the Earth! Today I bring a new order to your planet! Your lands, your homes, your possessions, your very lives -- all of this and more you will gladly give to me! In return, I promise you lower taxes and cheap gas prices!
It is as useless for you to deny me your vote as it is for me to annihilate you. You will only bring death and destruction upon yourselves, while I lose the potential products of your labor. In return for your vote, you will have my generous protection! In other words - you will be allowed to live.
Hear me now! There is now one law, one order, one ruler who alone will determine your collective destiny! Kneel before me! From this day forward - there is only Zod!
