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 Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 8:11 am
So my sister just came out as bisexual yesterday and my mom kinda sorta flipped out. She started saying mean things about bisexuals and how there is only gay or straight. I then tried to explain to her that you are born bi, just like you are born gay or straight, and then she flipped out saying my sister couldnt have been born "that way" because no one else in our family is gay so my sister couldnt inherit it. any suggestions on how I can explain this to my mom?
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 8:49 am
Its hard to explain it to parents because when its their own child they find it to be "harmful" to them. Its a natural instinct to protect them. Also its very hard for any parent to accept that there is something "wrong/different" about their child.
A good point to start off is to explain to your mother that it does /not/ hurt your sister to be bisexual. Parents (like mentioned before) will react badly to anything they believe will inflict harm upon their son/daughter; weather it be physical, emotional, or other wise.
Another point to make with your Mother is to explain it like you would a child in a sence. How such as people perfer one thing over another for no explanable reason. Such as:
Person 1: I do not like peas.
Person 2: How come? I like peas.
Person 1: I don't know. I've just never liked them.
Slightly a silly example but small things that she could releate to. A lot of things remained undecided of us becasue thats just how we /are/. Its been with us our whole lives. You can't force peas down Person's 1 throat and have them magically like them.
Same way you can't force an oppinion/decision/idea on someone else and have them magically change or believe it.
So let your Mother know:
1. It does not cause her harm.
2. Its still her daughter, she will always be her daughter.
3. If it makes her happy to be with a boy/girl; she should be happy she found someone much like she found someone when she met your Father.
4. You cannot force someone to magically become one way or another.
5. Remind her that her daughter loves her. (This seems to help a lot.) She is not there do defy her; its just another part of who she is as a person
I hope that helps you some.
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