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 Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 7:59 pm
I stood there forever,
waiting for you.
The water ran down through me,
I asked the rain never to stop so the rain fell.
I had opened the gateway to hell.
My eyes were dry,
so the sky did cry.
For the pain you have caused
will not die....
We shared many laughs,
and we cried so many times
you said we were friends
but then you did end.
You left with out a sound,
stopping my world from going around.
I was lost without a light,
seaching for a fight,
I was never found,
now I look at the sky.
My eyes shed no tears,
for I no longer had any fears.
If someone is listening,
if someone is there.
Let the rain fall,
let me live in despair.
((I hope you like it ^^))
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Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 10:53 pm
The wind howls
but the tree never bows.
No matter how the wind my yell
the tree will not tell.
The secret of mother earth
the secret of the human heart.
Burried deep away beneath the dirt.
far bellow from the worlds hurt.
Up above people cry,
up above people die.
The human heart,
stained with blood.
The storied hidden under the flesh,
never seen for they are forgotten in a dream.
The truth untold excpet for a whisper,
a whisper from I child that grew up in the wild.
She looks at the crowds,
they smile and frown.
She turns her gaze,
and looks to the sky,
the safe haven for her mind.
When the time came she spoke few words.
Only some understood,
"the secret to the heart is well known,
just some are blind to the truth."
((not my best piece but i felt like asking you guys what you thought ^-^ ))
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Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 3:58 am
I liked the first writing better than the second, but both are pretty good. I think there's a typo you need to fix in the second. The first was very good though. The rhyme was a little choppy for both poems. More so on the last one. Work on that a little and you'll be writing great. XD I give the first one a 4.5/5 rating. I give the second a 3.5/5 rating. ^_^
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Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 12:08 pm
Thanks I am not the best typer but I am better than most of the other 14 year olds in my school. 3nodding
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