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 Posted: Mon May 11, 2009 1:39 pm
So all my life my mother has been a b***h and abused me -mostlly mentally but a few times it would get physical- and no one could do anything because .. well my father was afraid of her! (shes a pretty scary lady) and so finally when things got way out of hand [when i was 12] he came in and took me away. then she moved away to wear her boyfriend lives and i didnt hear from her for about 2 years. when i was 14 one day she called and talked to me like everything was normal! then she started sending packages and money! basicly she wanted me to move with her. in her mind she is the perfect mom and im a stupid idiot child who knows nothing ... so shes been bad mouthing my father and his family to everyone -including me- and i want this to stop! i tell her NO! i tell her my father is a good man! besides she wouldent know much they knew each other for 2months then she got pregnant and they stoped speaking! im ot sure what to do, she dosent listen to me and she thinks dad is speaking through me when im talking to her!
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Posted: Mon May 11, 2009 2:53 pm
I had a friend who kinda had a similar problem... and I give the same advice every time someone talks about an abusive parent...
Pretend that you mom is not your mom... pretend she is just a person that you knew and happened to live with for a time. Now think about all the stuff she put you though... As just a person... would you want to have anything to do with her? Probably not.
So my advice here is just to tell her that you are happy with your father and that you wouldn't mind seeing her (if you don't mind seeing her that is) but you are going to live with your father, he takes care of all of your needs and wants and he is nice to you and you two have a loving and understanding father daughter relationship. Tell her she can continue to believe that he is speaking through you if she wants, but you will have no part in her paranoid dellusions and that if she wants to contnue to bad-mouth your father she needs to seriously re-evaluate her mental state before you will consider talking to her again. Tell her if she wants to have a "grown up" conversation with you, that you will more than happy to, but the kindergarten name calling bs is to be left on the play ground along with any emotional baggage she may have. Then inform her that if she even thinks about trying to belittle you or mess with your head again that you are gone and there will not be another chance.
Hope this helps... or if there is something I did not cover or you need more help with... just ask.
love,
tama
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