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how was it?
good
16%
 16%  [ 3 ]
moving
16%
 16%  [ 3 ]
ok
50%
 50%  [ 9 ]
bad
5%
 5%  [ 1 ]
horrible
11%
 11%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 18


HellRider The Hitman

PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 12:02 pm


At first it was just recon, then we were hit by an MG. We didn't have a chance. My squad was ripped to pieces and the ones of us who had any sense left after we were ambushed dove for shelter with our guns. The Germans had tanks, but fortunately so did we. The radio man slunk up and I got on the horn with the 4th's stuart and got three over. One hit a mine and the men inside began to scurry out. That was enough of a distraction for the panzers that I was able to drop a grenade into an open hatch and seal it. The concussion threw me away as the amunition inside began to cook off. One down, one to go. Two stuarts were giving the Mg that had hit us bloody hell. I saw Regis stand up to say something but he was cut off as a german soldier opened fire on us. He never knew what hit him.
Before i knew what was going on I was thrown into the air and woke up lying on my back, a ringing in my ears and my vision blurry. I realized that i had been lucky and that my corporal had stopped the better part of a mortar. We won that day, but the victory was earned in blood.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 2:22 pm


Sound like a good start for a war story. 3nodding

I also noticed your sig. Was that from a RP you did?

Diego the Incubus


Fuzzy Necromancer

PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 4:30 pm


Sorry, but I'm really not into war stories.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 6:48 pm



HellRider The Hitman


Fuzzy Necromancer

PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 8:40 pm


I like war guilds even less.

Not a big fan of anything involving or about war.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 9:58 pm


Me either Fuzz.

t0paz
Crew


[ The Plastic Katana ]

PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 11:12 pm


I kinda enjoy the war stories. I could never write one, but I love reading them.

This little snippy sounds like it would be a good one and an interesting story. I haven't clicked on the guild link, though, 'cause it's like past 1 am am I was up early...
PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 8:31 am


yeah, im not into war stories either.....for some reason they remind me of old men sitting on a porch ranting off their war stories..

LOL

SquishyAngeh


Indrid Cold

PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 9:12 pm


I used to be the leader of the Mobile Suite warefare under the mechanized unit of the Gaian Army. But.. that was eons ago. Nice post, at first I thought you were describing something out of a Call of Duty 2 commercial.
PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 9:18 pm


It was very well put together.... but I think you need a tad more imagery in thier.
What I picture in my mind is too mucky.
That's just my opinion though.
3nodding
It was very interesting, although war stories aren't really my cup of tea when it comes to literature.

Jesus_vs_Godzilla


Death_to_the_reaper

Interesting Mage

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 9:53 pm


Not bad.
PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 8:26 pm


Sounds like a good start to a story. I agree - more imagery. Be cautious of over-used war phrases (never knew what hit him, etc.). Also, tell the readers what these technical terms are - what is a stuart, etc.? Good start to the story so far.

serenaplacid

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Soft and Sexy

 
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