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 Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 4:12 am
I may not be Bill Cosby, but even I know that kids can say the darndest things. Children have such a different way of looking at the world, and their interpretation of things sometimes can't help but make us laugh. rofl
This thread is a place to share some of the very amusing things that we have heard our kids say. So whether they are your children or not, kids say the darndest things, and we want to hear all of them.
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 9:57 am
I was washing my (almost) 4 yr olds hair..which he HATES, and I had him close his eyes tightly while I rinsed. When I was done I said "okay hon... all done!" to which he replied "Can I turn on my eyes now?" xd ahhh the age of technology!
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 8:42 pm
LadyElara I was washing my (almost) 4 yr olds hair..which he HATES, and I had him close his eyes tightly while I rinsed. When I was done I said "okay hon... all done!" to which he replied "Can I turn on my eyes now?" xd ahhh the age of technology!
I love the way that my daughter calls just about every gray haired man "gampa" like when I went to the fishing store here on Gaia (She loves to watch me fish and she'll tell me what the fish is that I've caught like "bi'er" (biter) or her favorite is "boo" (boot) I also love the way she says "nin nan" (tin can) it's so cute!) and she pointed to Logan and called him "gampa" and I said "No, that's Logan." So she replies without missing a beat "Gampa Logan." 4laugh
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Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 1:42 am
What great stories. Here is one I like. The other day Jen was feeling a bit blue from the morning sickness, and I was being a little mean and giving her a bad time about it (all in good sport of course). Anyway she tells me "It's not my fault." And I say, "So, are you saying it's my fault?" Now two year olds are quite posessive and say "MINE" a lot... so at the end of this conversation our daughter overhears and blurts out "MY fault." Incidentally, after being told this same story, my wife's mom reassured our daughter that, while last time was her fault, this time was not.
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 10:18 pm
Out of the Mouth of Babes
MELANIE (5) asked her Granny how old she was.
Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more.
Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."
STEVEN (3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."
BRITTANY (4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?
SUSAN (4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."
DANI (4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"
MARC (4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"
CLINTON (5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"
JAMES (4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt."
Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"
TAMMY (4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"
The Sermon
I think this Mom will never forget this particular Sunday sermon... "Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust."
He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"
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Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 6:22 pm
The otherday when me and my Mom were out shopping a little girl was looking at my shoes (I wear one black chuck taylor and one green one) she came over and pulled on my jacket and said "Excuse me" in what had to be the sweetest way ever "But your silly, you put the wrong shoe on silly girl" the girls mother snagged her up and appoligised but I was to bisy laughing to reply right away.
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 12:48 am
I have Six nephews and Nine neieces.
My little neice who is 4 has decided that my other little neice age 18 months is now hers. The 18 month is her cousin.
They both have blond hair and blue eyes and are absolutly gorgious.
She said to her mom.
"Shes a little bit of me."
And she does everything for this other little nice.
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Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 2:48 pm
Me and my friend Rebi were looking after her sister's little boy Nathen who is two and a half I think. Now being half spanic he dosen't know much english apart from, 'Kiss, out, shoes' etc.
We took him out today because Rebs mum was just getting annoyed with him, so as we do. Take him out to the mall and just have fun. Now I'm the one pushing the buggy for Reb (I have more weight to myself so I push it for her.)
We were sitting in Maccy D's (I only eat vegi melts in there.) And Nath had a happy meal, so he is eating away and me and Reb are talking about random stuff then Nath hits me with a balloon and goes, "Oh no..." Then kisses me. A while later I was eatng a chip of his because he wasn't eating so I was trying to get him to eat, and I got ketchup over my eye and he wiped it off and said, "Mandy....red....ace." Which meant I had a red face...heh. He is such a cutie! Calls all women mum.
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 11:54 am
Gwyndara, I just wanted to say that, in particular, the story about the Sermon really made me laugh. I'm still having trouble not bursting into giggles when I think about it!
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Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 10:55 am
Okay, favorite story to date about my little man:
My sis-in-law has a new boyfriend named Dan, and has been very worried about her family liking him. She need not have worried in the case of Lucien. Lucien's favorite superhero is Spiderman. Dan's favorite superhero of all time to the point of idolatry is Spiderman. Dan is also a graphic arts major. Dan drew Spiderman for Lucien. Ever since then, he gets greeted loudly by name, and Stephanie (the sis-in-law) gets yelled at every time she touches Dan in Lucien's presence. To make sure Aunt Steph knew what he was talking about, Lucien (he's two) grabbed Dan's hand, grabbed Aunt Steph's hand, put Aunt Steph's hand in Dan's hand, then smacked their hands apart and said, "Dan's not yours. He's MINE!"
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Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 11:07 am
Yep, separate post. This one's about my nephew, Bjorn. We were visiting for a while (they live several states away), so we rode around with everybody while they got dropped off at school, etc. Bjorn is 3. My husband was sitting next to him while Bjorn avidly told him about the cool things like the "trucks with poo in them" (they were passing a sewage treatment facility), and as with many men, John started to doze off.
"Mister John!" yelled Bjorn (doesn't call him uncle, no idea why) "Mister John, wake up!"
John answered, without moving or opening his eyes, "I *am* awake."
"NO!" yelled Bjorn, "Wake up with your EYES!"
Later, on this same visit, we were passing through Bethlehem, NC, which (as you might imagine) was really gearing up for the star-lighting ceremony for their nativity scene. Bjorn was telling John the story of the nativity, which went something along the lines of: "Jesus was born, and a star came out, and the star says 'DIIIIIIEEEEEE'!!!"
My favorite version of the nativity, right there.
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Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 2:21 pm
As adults we know driving can be frustrating, but you don't usually expect your kids to care. But one day a while ago while my daughter was riding in her carseat in the back of the car she noticed that we had stopped at an intersection. Without hestition she loudly ordered "LIGHT TURN GREEN." It just goes to show you how much kids pick up on about the world around them.
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Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 4:40 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:06 pm
Another funny story about things toddlers say in the car:
My husband calls me on his cell while we're each on our way to work one morning this week to tell me this cute story. He is taking our two year old to the daycare, and is sitting still in a left turn lane to get on the freeway, while to the right cars that are going straight have a green light and are moving past them. My son cries out dramatically, "No cars, cars stop! Don't leave me, cars!" Concerned by the worry in his voice, hubby asks our son, "Are you okay buddy?" This my single-minded son ignores, instead continuing to plead with the vanishing traffic, "Stop cars, wait! Um..I have a question!" As if that would get them to stop and listen to him! lolol.
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 11:52 am
haha those are all great! I'm sure our kids will say and do some embarassing stuff someday too. For now though, I just have stories about me, my brother, and my husband! xd
ME (2) My parents and I lived in a small house near the lake when i was real little. One saturday morning I came into their room and woke them up saying "mommy, der's a wuuurrm on da floor!" my parent's brushed it off as just being a little earth worm that somehow snuck into the house... but when i came back a few minutes later and sounded a little more urgent about it, my mom got up and went into the living room to find a rather large snake coiled up on the kitchen floor! eek
BOBBY (3) We were on a road trip to visit some family friends up in New Mexico and since my brother was just learning to potty, they brought along our camping port-a-potty and kept it in the back of the van so we didn't have to stop every time he had to go. Well... we took a day trip up into the mountains and as it so happened he'd had to go about the time we got to the top so we parked and went to look for a picnic spot as my dad took him to potty. He'd had diareha. (sorry if that's tmi but it's essential to the story) So being a curious 3 year old, he liked to watch the port-a-potty "flush" so he was leaned over it as my dad pulled the lever... yep you guessed it... the potty had pressurized and the poo flew in his face and ALL OVER the inside of our van! xp We all came running when we heard him scream... he was crying when my mom asked my dad what'd happend Bobby said "DADDY GOT STINK IN MY EYES!!!"
and one more if you're not tired of reading by now... this one's short!
JASON (3) - Jason grew up as an only child living with his single mother and her parents. So when they would go places in the car around christmas time, Jason's grandfather liked to sing "Silver Bells" mostly just to get a rise out of him because every time he started up, Jason would put his hands on his ears and say in the most dramatic fashion possible "Oh! Spaaare me!" hahaha rofl
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