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 Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 7:59 pm
This journal is for Torvil's use only. Fellow Pae'il owners, and people with explicit permission may/may not post. Dropping off of gifts is also/not allowed. Please contact Torvil if you would like to be able to post here.
:[ Name ]:
Jomund
:[ Gender ]:
Male
:[ Generation ]:
Fourth
:[ Parents ]:
Chae + Ivy
:[ Owner ]:
Torvil Rakamash
:[ Personality ]:
<< to be filled in >>
:[ Likes ]:
<< to be filled in >>
:[ Dislikes ]:
<< to be filled in >>
:[ Current Abilities ]:
<< to be filled in >>
:[ Associated Element(s) ]:
<< to be filled in >>
:[ Weapons ]:
<< to be filled in >>
Pae'il (c) Antidia
Created by - Tiaphanu
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Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 9:30 pm
01/28/2006 Dear Journal, First time I write in this blasted thing, you'd figure by now I'd of done more than just stare at it when I find it. Oh well no matter. Met a lil angel child. Sweetest little thing ever, tried to get her to her caretaker before I got sidetracked by something, hopefully she'll find her way back safely on her own. Most of the isle is safe, but still, you never know, sometimes s**t just happens... Recently I've just been wandering about sorting things out in my head, sleeping where I fall... Really it's not that bad of a life, I keep shy of Dragnid and I stick to where I know I can find help if I need it... I really should start talking to more people tho... I'm just nervous, well not so much nervous as I really don't know what to say to people... I mean... Oh just screw it... I'm not going to go into my own guardians damn personality disorders right now... Bah... should have never picked up this stupid thing...
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 9:47 pm
Punch Drunk Love Jurnel,
Met cuuuute girl at the party tonight, total hawt babe! Tehn for shure! Seh makes meh 'ot blooded, Whoo! Fever babeh!Journal, Ugh... Pardon my earlier iscription, I have marked it from the record, Guardian's help me for getting wasted... Still got a damn headache... Anyway... Met a Fae girl today named Joi, she's cute, funny, smart... Everything I'd want in a girl... And I'm not going to pursue a romantic relationship with her... Not yet anyway... I don't think she's into me like that, and that's fine... I want to get to know her, be her friend... You know, become the best damn friend ever... She's flirty she's fun, I like her... I like her a lot, and I'll admit that right here and now... Her old man scares the s**t outta me... He beat the living crap outta me for dancing with her, still got a damn busted lip... ********... Yeah... Gonna try to get her to sneak out of her house today... Who knows, she might beat me to the punch... ta'
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Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 7:57 pm
It was worth it... Well, I want to start off that all of this was worth it in the end, I think... I'm going to make a long story short, As I have got quite a lot to say and not a lot of page to say it all. I took Joi out with me to the mountain, and we made it to one of the lower summits. It got really windy and dark, and we had fun... But we could't leave that night so we stayed there till morning. And we kissed... and decided that it wouldn't work out... But then, when I went to see her later, after she was grounded... We decided that it would work out... and we erm, started dating. Then we got caught, and I ran like a freaking coward. I came back waaay too late, and Joi and I broke it off. Suffice it to say I felt horrible about it all, and I decided that I wanted to try again. So I came back to her house, stood up to her dad, and asked her to take me back. It took a bit of fighting, but she took me back... She invited me to dinner, and I'm going to go, and I'm going to fave down her father until he cracks... I will not lose her again.
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Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 7:18 pm
05/06/2006 Dear Journal, So I went to see Joi at her place for our dinner-date, it turned out a little bit like how I expected it to go down. Right now I'm eating dinner with her folks and all that, I'll fill in more when the night is over.
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Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 2:24 pm
So far so Good I think... Not much to report actually...
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Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 1:27 am
I am less than Pae'il... I am nothing, an insignificant speck upon this world, lower than all things and master over nothing but my own fate. I am a monster, a beast of such unimaganble evil that I can do nothing but destory all that I lay my hands on.
I saw Joi today, and this was the end, for all that I know, we have parted ways perminately, and right now, I really have nothing left.
I have no job, no house, no wife, no kids. I am a failure of a man, I am a failure as a Pae'il. I am a FAILURE. I am nothing, and I don't want to be that anymore.
I plan to change, will change, I cannot be who I am as I write this, *tearblotch* I am... changing slowly, I have to. Tomorrow I'm seeking out my grandfather, see if he'll give me a job. Then, I'll build a house, and try to eek out some sort of existance. It's the least I can do... I have to start somewhere, and I have to change. I can't... I can't be the failure I was.
As of right now... Jay is dead, gone. Those days are gone, the past is in the past, and I have only the future in which to act. I have no other reason that myself to change now. Joi wants nothing to do with me, I don't blame her. Maybe one day... but I doubt it.
There can be no love for me. I can't let another woman fall prey to this trap that I am. Obviously, I will have to stand strong and work hard, and keep others from falling into the trap that I am. I must be my work now... That's all there is to it. I lost Joi because I failed to be there, I failed to be strong for her. I failed her.
I won't fail anyone again...
I can't, the pain from tonight is too great, if that is the pain of failure, then I don't want to feel it anymore. I wish Joi the best, and I hope that she finds her knight in shining armor. Because obviously, it's not me...
Guaridans I wish it could be... Guaridans I wish it could be...
So it ends... Tonight I die, and tomorrow I am born anew...
May my death not be in vain, may the pain I feel not be shared by the woman I care about most. I wish Joi only the best. Guardians, watch over her, and keep her safe. Because I failed her, and I wish to not see her failed agian. I pray to you... Send her a man who is strong and kind, who's reliable, who can keep her happy and safe and well taken care of.
Because she out of anyone here on this isle deserves that and so much more... Make her happy... Please... For my sake...
~Jomund.
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Posted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 4:55 pm
Things are oddly enough, starting to look up. I guess it is true what they say, once you hit rock bottom the only way to go is up. I dropped off that flowerbox I made for Joi yesterday, I think I'm going to go visit her later tonight... Well I want to anyway, just see if there is anything she might need a hand with when I have time off. I've gotten the start of the foundation of my house done today, it's not going to be a big house, or a pretty one. But it should do to keep the wind and rain off my back.
You know... If the weather around here ever goes bad.
I find it odd that the weather is almost always perfect here, I don't know why it has always been that way save that one winter... but it unnerves me to think that that winter was a fluke...
Anyway... Enough for now... I think I'm going to take a quick nap and a shower before I go see Joi... No sense showing up all tired and sweaty neh?
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Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 2:33 pm
Someone has been thinking about you during the holiday season! 
To: Jomund
From: Joi
Message: Merry Christmas.
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Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 9:24 pm
Took Joi to that family picnic my parent's were running... I'm not sure if she really enjoyed herself or not... She seemed nervous... I think my parent's think we're dating... I'll have to convince them that we're not... Yet... anymore? s**t I don't know...
Anyway... I've got to head over to Joi's again and help her out with something... Maybe just chat...
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