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 Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 8:47 pm
It was another one of those mornings.
There was that strange sense upon awakening of something not quite right. It nagged at his consciousness, teased it to rise up from the comfortable darkness. He didn't want to - he was comfortable. He'd slept through the night for the first time without a single terror ripping him out of sleep. He was warm, and comfortable, but the minute he'd even stirred his senses started digging at him.
He heeded them, slowly. It was nothing urgent. Nothing drastic, or dangerous. Just a disturbance. He listened, first. His house made the regular noises. Nothing different there. Sydni was doing that cute little snuffling sound she made in her sleep - and Tepin's breathing was deep and even. Though there was something different about it. Something--
He couldn't pin it down. His nose was telling him something, now. Same scents, except for Tepin's. Something had changed in hers--
And then there was the form. He'd wrapped protectively around her, as was customary, curled cat-like and comfortable. But she fit too snugly against him. Larger. She was larger--
His eyes shot open in the grey light of dawn, body reflexively sending him surging back, off the bed. That wasn't Tepin!
What was going on here? Why was there a-a woman in his bed?! First waking up to Quinn, and then-!
His thoughts slowed, stopped, as he stared at the girl in his bed. The girl wearing Tepin's pajamas she'd gone to bed in. The girl with Tepin's smudge across her face, with the curly hair just barely that same golden blonde at the tips--
His stomach dropped down beneath his feet, leaving a cold pit where it had once been.
"Tepin?" His voice broke through the room, cracking in disbelief. His mind reeled.
It couldn't be. She couldn't be.
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Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 8:55 pm
“Nnnrghhh.” She swatted at him, rolling away and seeking sweet comfort from the warm covers. The man was crazy if he thought she was going to wake up. It just felt early. And when it felt early, Tepin slept. She didn’t care if it was noon, even!
It wasn’t like she had school or anything to go to.
“Mmmlater-- Isstill sleepy time.”
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Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 9:06 pm
He frowned, eyes narrowing as a mix of rage and betrayal began bubbling up. It was Tepin. This girl in his bed was Tepin.
He tried to keep that in mind - she was Tepin.
She was a godling. Had been a godling, this whole time. He balled his fists, stalking darkly over to her side of the bed.
It was Tepin, Tepin-
A godling, his mind told him. A godling who had been sleeping at his side every night, who he'd trusted.
He couldn't hurt her-
He dug his fingers under the edge of the bed, lifting the mattress up in an abrupt incline, sending the girl tumbling to the ground, blankets and pillows and all.
"Awake, yet?" he snarled, dropping the mattress back down and stepping around it to glare at the girl.
He was angry, he was hurt - he wasn't sure which one was more at this point.
"Start talking. Now."
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Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 9:21 pm
She screamed as the bed suddenly decided it didn’t want to hold her. Even clinging to the coversheet, she did nothing but strip the bed completely.
Wh-wh-wh-what!? What the heck!? What was going on? Why---?
She dared for the briefest of moments to look down--
Change.
She had changed.
Why!? Why now!? Why not after she had figured it out? After she had told him? Why did it have to happen now of all times. She had finally made up her mind to be honest, to confess! And yet…!!
Tears were welling up in her eyes, her face turning a bright red as she looked back to his face.
He was mad. Really mad. There was no way he was going to accept her. He was way too mad to just go ‘Oh! I forgive you!’. It was over. Totally over. There was no chance she’d patch this up-- not when he was making that face. She had only seen that face once before… When Valeriu had dealt with the older, dangerous player for the first time.
“I wanted… I wanted to tell you! I was gunna tell you!!” Her hands gripped for the covers, pulling them up close to hide her new, alien body. “I swear I was!”
There was no way he would believe that! It was always easier to say that you were going to do something once you had lost the chance to.
“B-But Quinn said that” She hiccupped, her eyes still pleading for forgiveness, “That if-- if I told you, then you’d hafta kill me! ‘Cause I’m part of The Game!”
There was more-- there had to be more. Some way to make him understand the fear that she had felt when thinking of how he would react to the truth.
“And that guy at the ice cream-- the shadows!! You-- You were gunna kill him then and there!”
More. She needed more. There was more to this-- She hadn’t just been afraid, there were more feelings involved. She had to make him see that.
“I didn’t want you to get mad! I didn’t want you to hate me! ”
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Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 9:39 pm
"So you lied to me?" he growled back, eyes dark.
He was angry. Unbelievably so. The only person he trusted. It burned, sending what was left of his heart into a fiery rage. He clenched his jaw, undeterred, sweeping an arm away furiously.
"I trusted you!" She'd slept in his bed, when he was dead to the world. "At any moment, you could have killed me!" He wouldn't have even been able to see it coming.
"I'm such an idiot," he ground out roughly, ears flattening. How could he have not noticed?
He'd seen the signs. Seen them, and waved them off. Came up with excuse after excuse. Hadn't even suspected - hadn't wondered why her eyes were strange, or what that smudge would never come off. And that itching in the back of his mind - that wasn't paranoia! That was, that was knowing what she was. And he'd ignored it, all of it, because he was an idiot.
And she - she was crying.
He stepped back. He was - he was angry, damn it! It wasn't fair that the sight of tears could throw him for so bad of a loop. Could extinguish the heat of his rage and leave him ice cold and tired. He glare dissolved into a weary frown, backing up further.
"V'hat did you v'ant, then? Information? You have it, now. Can go sell it to the highest bidder, if you v'ant."
This was Tepin, he knew that. Knew that she didn't plan for that - knew that when he went to go see her mother, when he first saved her.
But the hurt made him vicious.
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Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:12 pm
She continued to amass the blankets around her. She didn’t want him to see-- she wanted to go back to being normal-- to go back to what they had yesterday.
“I wouldn’t have killed you!” That… That hurt the most. She had tried to protect him! She was there to keep him safe and happy! Why would she have tried to hard-- worked so hard-- if she only wanted to kill him!? Didn’t he recognize the effort that she had made?!
She couldn’t even form words now, her mouth moving silently as she tried to hold back the sobs. Her face must have looked hideous, bent by the tears and aguish that had taken hold of her. She didn’t want this! She had tried so hard-- This wasn’t right! She didn’t deserve this!
Bent over, her small body shook furiously-- from the pain, from the offense, from everything. Through her choked sobs, she squeaked into the pillow; she couldn’t bear to see his face looking like that again.
“I only wanted to make you happy! I didn’t want you to get upset again!”
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Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:27 pm
He balled his fists again, biting his lip. He jerked, as if to move to her.
The words had stopped, leaving him aghast with himself, torn and upset. She was crying - he'd made her cry - his hand reached out to pull her into a hug, but he stopped himself there too, clenching his hands harder.
"I'm sorry." He backed away, tail curling around his ankles. "I didn't - I didn't mean it. I know."
He knew Tepin. For all that she'd lied to him, she had done nothing but help him.
Still, still! This encounter left him too uncomfortable, too unsettled - to know how close he'd come to letting someone who could've stabbed him into the back into his home.
But that someone wasn't Tepin. But it could've been her. But it wasn't. She was - she was Tepin. She'd held him, made him smile, let him hold her. Even if she was older, even if she was a godling, even if she had lied.
She was the only person who'd stayed by a monster like him. And here he was, proving it again - turning so viciously against her.
But he couldn't. Not right now.
"I'm sorry," he repeated, uselessly. Couldn't even make himself stop her crying. "I do know."
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Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:43 pm
Long black curls covered most of her body, obscuring her from view. Her hair had grown longer, longer and thicker, and for once in her short life she was glad to have it. She didn’t want to be seen-- she wanted to disappear. If growing meant losing Valeriu, then she’d rather not even be at all! It wasn’t fair!
Even if she had wanted to stop, Tepin wouldn’t have been able to regain her composure. Spilled across his floor, grasping onto blankets for dear life, she felt almost insane. How could she be so stupid?! Even if he did apologize, even if he said he understood, there was no way he could forgive her! She had taken all the trust that she had earned, all the love that she had worked so hard for, and slammed it all against the ground. Destroyed it completely. There was no way that they could ever go back. There was no way they could ever have the relationship that they once did.
She was the stupid one! Valeriu was just acting like any sane person would. Of course you’d be mad if you learned that your sworn enemy was in your house. It was only reasonable. Tepin was only acting like a selfish child for not accepting the reality of the situation!
She didn’t even know if she had the heart to regret waiting-- if she had run… If she had run she would have harbored that feeling of hope. That maybe… maybe if she ran into him again, maybe he would accept her. At least now…
Now she was crushing all that hope of a relationship underfoot.
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Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:58 pm
He looked at the girl on the floor. Really looked. She hadn't grown much taller. Still had the same round face, the same curly hair. This was Tepin.
This was the girl who he'd taken in. His little princess, his adopted stray. He'd promised her - he remembered now, remembered how anxious she was to get that promise out of him - that he would never hurt her.
He was the one who had found her. He was the one who had kept her. She didn't, she hadn't, planned anything. She'd kept her mouth shut, because she wanted to stay his stray.
Gingerly, he took a step forward, then another, surer step as her tears continued falling.
Besides Sydni, she was all he had. Even if the betrayal stung, he was stupid. Stupid and desperate. She could've honestly stabbed him in the back, and he'd still be here.
Quietly, he sank to his knees in front of her, carefully gathering her back into his arms. She still fit, even with the piles of blankets around her. He smoothed back her hair, rubbed a thumb across tear tracks, inspecting her new-but-same face with a frown and furrowed brow.
"Don't cry," he echoed his earlier words. He knew his voice was shaking, upset and betrayed but grasping at straws. "You can...You can only stay here, if you can give me a smile," he reminded her.
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Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 11:11 pm
“I-I… I won’t do anything.” She promised, looking up at him as her mouth tried so hard to simply smile, “I promise that. I’m not… I don’t…”
How was she supposed to say it? What was she even trying to say? She was jumbled up-- a complete mess. If only she could just… just send her feelings right over. Not even bother with words. Words would only complicate things. They never seemed to do what she wanted.
Dark hands reached up, feeling at his shoulders, remembering the freckles underneath his clothes. Was this how he felt, that night? So alienated and alone, all because of what some stupid Game had done to him? Something he didn’t even want-- and yet it was tearing his life apart.
“Y-You know…” She buried her face against his chest, ignoring everything else. She had to do it now. Now, when she was getting everything off her chest.
Now, when she lacked the inhibition to stop herself.
“I love you.”
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Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 11:32 pm
He could relax again. He could - he could get past her being a godling. He didn't know what to do when it came to the Game, but he wouldn't--
She was the first one he knew he could not hurt. She was as close to his heart as Sydni.
And she was still tiny. He hugged her closer, bundling the blankets more around her in an effort to apologize for dumping her on the floor. Even that had been too rough, too cruel. He was just glad - glad that she wasn't pushing away from him, but burrowing closer.
Glad that--that--
That she loved him?
His heart stopped. He knew what she meant. But-but she was Tepin! His tiny stray! And she'd just changed. She couldn't - it wasn't possible. She was confused, mixing up feelings. He understood that, remembered the first change, what havoc the physical transformation wrought.
"Tepin," he willed his voice to be as firm and reassuring as his father during the rare times the man was serious, pulling away just slightly to tilt her chin up. "You are confused," he matter-of-factly informed, nodding for added effect. "It happens v'ith the...the change."
Poor girl. Mixing up affection for a brother with love-love. Carefully, he hooked his arms under he legs, pulling her up with him in order to gently set her back down on the bed. Gentle, careful now - he couldn't be rough with her, not after what he'd done before.
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Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 11:49 pm
He didn’t get it. He didn’t get it at all. There was no reason to stick around and try so hard to make him happy if she didn’t love him. This wasn’t something brought on by the sudden change-- She had cared about him the entire time!
It just took something like this for her to realize it, right?
Right! There was no way she was confused. Of all the things that floated around in her little head, this was probably the one thing that she was actually certain of. The earth was round, the sky was blue, and Tepin loved Valeriu.
“No, you don’t get it.” Even if her tears had subsided, her nose still seemed to run a bit, and she frowned critically at him, “I know how I feel! Don’t tell me I’m confused!”
How could he know? He wasn’t there-- he wasn’t in her mind. He didn’t have any right to patronize her! They were the same now, she was older too. No; they were the same even before that! Didn’t he say he was only eleven? They were on equal footing, there was no reason for him to try to act high and mighty.
“I want to be with you.” She turned her head, looking at the folds of the blankets that wrapped around her, “And I want you to look at just me-- no one else.”
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Posted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 12:00 am
He smiled. He knew that bratty frown. It was still the same, and helped to soothe his unease.
He brushed her hair back, gathering up the long locks and brushing them away from her eyes, kissing her forehead and tucking her back in. She'd grown, yes. But it didn't mean he couldn't still treat her like the little girl she was.
"I promise - I v'ill never look at anyone else," he reassured her, though it stung inside. Quinn. Not after Quinn. Not with the Game. He could never -- even now, in the end, he knew all he would have were his girls. If, when, he won, and his new world was created, he would still be alone save for them. Maybe just return to the jungle, and leave his new city in peace.
No one else factored into his feelings, anymore.
"I v'ill always care for you, like a brother," he finished, quite firmly. As a brother. And then, one day, when she matured and realized her true feelings, and found a man she really cared for -
Well.
He would either kill the man or let him live. That was still up in the air.
Same thing went for Sydni.
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Posted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 12:16 am
“That’s not--” She closed her mouth, settling into the bed with a defeated frown. That was the best she was going to get. She knew that. No matter how hard she pushed… Valeriu would just not budge.
He was a huge bolder, set in place. And she was a tiny mouse, unable to move him, but content just sleeping in her burrow below.
But she wasn’t content. It wasn’t…
No. This was what she wanted, right? Just to be accepted and treated like nothing had happened. So why… Why didn’t she feel satisfied? She had gotten the best result possible, she knew that.
It was what it was. No matter how she might feel, she had gotten what she wanted. She would need to live with the consequences of her actions. He had accepted her as a family member… That was good enough.
It had to be good enough.
She closed her eyes with a sigh. At least if she pretended to sleep, she could be alone. Even if she knew that no sleep would come….
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