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 Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 7:13 pm
This journal is for Torvil's use only. Fellow Pae'il owners, and people with explicit permission may/may not post. Dropping off of gifts is also/not allowed. Please contact Torvil if you would like to be able to post here.
:[ Name ]:
Victor
:[ Gender ]:
Male
:[ Generation ]:
Third
:[ Owner ]:
Torvil Rakamash
:[ Personality ]:
<< to be filled in >>
:[ Likes ]:
<< to be filled in >>
:[ Dislikes ]:
<< to be filled in >>
:[ Current Abilities ]:
<< to be filled in >>
:[ Associated Element(s) ]:
<< to be filled in >>
:[ Weapons ]:
<< to be filled in >>
Pae'il (c) Antidia
Created by - Tiaphanu
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Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 5:22 pm
01/18/2006 Dear Journal, ... I read in a book that writing a journal is supposed to help people with my... problems. I like it's a crock of bull... But I'll try it anyway... who knows, maybe it's true and it'll make me feel better... ...I doubt it... Is it bad that I wonder where Mo goes? That I want to follow his every movement in the shadows and watch him as he goes about his day? When he leaves, he never says where he's going... and well... I'm beginnning to wonder... Does Mo have another man? And if he does... What's the fastest way I can kill the competition... Or at least claim it as my own... But that's not the point... the truth of the matter journal, and guardian's help you if you EVER tell anyone I said this... the truth of the matter, is that I love Mo... Just not sure if I show it all that well... Why do I feel so bad now... Oh well, no matter, all I know is that I'm going to have to start talking to Mo... He knows my feelings for him, or at least I think he does... Maybe he thinks we need some time alone? Why does that make me feel worse? Oh well... I think I'm going to go lay down now... I wonder how mom is doing... I haven't talked to her in awhile...
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 8:55 am
01/19/2006 Dear Journal, Alot happened last night... I'll go more into detail later Journal, I just wanted to make sure I got this page marked down. Mo suggested we find our own place... That's a big, big step he wanted to take, one I'm not quite sure he's ready for. Lately journal the thought has come to mind that Mo... Mo is getting more distant from me, and that's breaking my heart... He showed some improvement last night... But I'm not sure how much of it was real emotion... Oh well... guess I'll manage... I cried for the first time last night journal, that scared me, I've never been one to really cry... and last night Mo had me bawling my eyes out... Am I getting weaker? I don't know...
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Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 9:13 pm
01/28/2006 Dear Journal, So far so good... No bursting into tears no sudden bouts of wanting to jump off a cliff cause Mo doesn't love me... I think if anything, being with Mo is making me stronger, and not having Mo would be a weakness... Or maybe I'm only saying that to cover up my weakness... I don't know, I've still very confused about that, and it's kind of getting on my nerves, but it really doesn't matter, cause once Mo and I settle down in our own place I'm sure that we'll start to get all that much more closer...
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 12:36 pm
01/29/2006 Dear Journal, Well Journal, I went and I did it, I went to go see Mum and Mother... Mother was her usual bright shiney joy as always, trying to snake her way into my head... I think I'll eventually get it into that mind of hers that I don't want people in there... I don't like the thought of someone mucking about in my mind, and she needs to learn where the line is drawn with some. I don't care if that's her power as an Elder, I'm my own man, and she needs to stay OUT of my head. Mum... Mum didn't take the news of me and Mo well, I don't know why, I mean, it's just like her and Mother, I mean really, I just found love with Mo and not some... girl... I don't get why she's pitching such a fit... I mean... Oh well no matter... Saw Syannia again, it was nice to forget that the last time I left it was on such horrible terms with everyone, tho I think that Syannia never really got to know me when I was... darker... *sighs* I hope she doesn't try to get to close, I'd hate to disapoint her, I haven't really gotten much better as it is... But that really doesn't matter does it? Oh! She said she's met our other sister... Maybe one day I can too, I have yet to, been to busy with myself and Mo-love... So I guess I've missed out on some of it... *sighs* Oh well, I'm sure I'll find a way...
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Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 12:10 pm
01/30/2006 Dear Journal, Whew... Damn, working on a house is harder work than I thought! I started working on the foundation and started felling some trees to set up the flooring... It's not as easy as it sounded in the book. I'm absolutely CAKED with sweat, and I'm seriously thinking of asking Mo to go find me a big water jug. I could also use a bath... But on the plus side, Mo likes watching me sweat, so that's a definate bright side. We 'borrowed' the tools from Mo's father, who thankfully wasn't home to decline their use. I told Mo that he should go visit them at least once, it would be good for him I think. I mean, hell... My parent's aren't all that thrilled about Mo and I, might as well see if his are any better... I know his father wasn't all that pleased to see me, but that might be my past... It really doesn't matter, I would rather forget about that part of my life, I've stopped having the dreams and the voice hasn't bothered me since he tired to take control, so I'm fine... I think I'll be even better once we get this house finished. That way Mo and I will always have a place to be safe. That son of a b***h almost cost me my Mo-love. If I ever see him again I will make sure he dies... and dies painfully...
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Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 10:12 pm
02/12/2006 Dear Journal, Well, I have a lot to fill you in about, and not a lot of space to do it in... Mo and Letha have reconciled, well more than that... They've opened my eyes to the world of sharin, I can live with that... *chuckles* I'll manage... Morena's a hot piece of a**... Yum... She was quite delectible last night ^_~ Letha was pretty hot too... Nummy, nummy indeed... And Mo... Ahhhh.... My sweet, sweet Mo, made all the more... better, by the other two... Mmmm mmm mm... *purr* *yawn* Alright, crashing... *scribble*
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Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 10:54 am
A small, cottonball - like cloud can be seen puttering down from the sky, a gift for Victor nestled ontop of it's soft whiteness. As it lands gently on the ground, the cloud dissipates, leaving the gift behind.
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Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 8:36 pm
Oh my ... how could this have happened? Uhm... Congratulations ... I think ...
Keep an eye out for the birth announcement in about 2 weeks when you new little ones arrive!
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Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 6:57 pm
05/06/2006 Journal, Today started out with me taking Mo home and then watching Mo get totally wasted. I could feel his pain, I have done what he did today many times, because sometimes it's the only way I can let myself be... nomral. If Mo diving headfirst into the booze was a sign of things to come I missed the omen, because as soon as he felt a little better he headed out for a walk, my guess was to get rid of the wicked hangover and not have to worry about me being a pain in his a**, figuratively speaking. Did he get the time he needed? Oh hell no, not by a long shot. Letha and Morena showed up not a few minutes later, barking about how they were pregnant and all of that jazz. Suffice it to say, my paranoia flammed up so fast I was suprised by my own actions as well. I pushed them all away journal, I made each and every one of them leave the room I was in and cash after the others, until only I was left. It was then that I realized that I did not want to be alone, not at all. I wanted to be with them in their happiness and their worry. I wanted to be afraid with them to wonder what would become of us because of these children. So I bit the bullet and I tried to put aside my usually cold facade and I went to see them, to be with them as a real person, not as a shell of ice. It felt, different, almost surreal in fact. I'm not sure I'll be able to get used to it. But for those three... Well... Mostly for Mo... I will try... But god help them if they ever get between me and my work...
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Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 2:22 pm
Gnnn... I've gotten to freaking soft, it's time for me to spend time away from people and go back to what I was...
A Cold, heartless killer...
So that's what I'll do, I'm going to dragnind and I'm not coming out until I'm back to what I used to be...
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Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 2:29 pm
Someone has been thinking about you during the holiday season! 
To: Victor
From: Mo (momoiro)
Message: Merry Christmas, I love you.
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Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 9:21 pm
... There's something really f*#$ed up about Dragnid... I can't really place it... but damn... I can't stay in there anymore... I really, really can't... It started with the nightmares... and then... it was... It was like when I was younger... the voices...
The Voices...
NO DAMNIT focus Victor...
Anyway... I think there is something not quite right about Dragnid... Something... Bad...
I hope Mo and Dru are okay...
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