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 Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 6:18 pm
Yes I've surcomed to this simple joy. Now please don't be angry with me. I don't know why but it makes me happy.
It started out with scratching and with my long nails it wasn't soon till i broke the skin and bled. Then after a while I recently started cutting. Im not trying to kill myself and im very careful of where my veins are so i don't cut them. I... It original started when my mom and i had a fight. about how i don't appriciate her. She said she crys every day because i don't appriciate her. I was crying and thinking i don deserve to live if i made my mom cry. without thinking i started scratching and i stoped when i realize what i had done. everyday so far this week my mom has left. My parents are in counsling. but like hell thats working. The yell and scream and its horrible. so yes this led to me cutting i know i shouldn't but it makes me feel like everything is okay. I really don't know what to do.
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Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 7:42 pm
Ehh, I do it if I get really depressed, but I'm not addicted to it or anything. I don't want my parents to know, so I only use a key, which barely penetrates the skin. So, I have scars, but they aren't too noticable and can easily be mistaken for as "accidents."
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Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 12:18 am
I... hope you're having fun.
I honestly don't understand why people do that.
Apparently you don't either.
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Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 12:44 pm
Info/help/other forums/stuff
http://teenadvice.about.com/od/cuttingbranding/
http://www.teenhelp.org/groups/forumdisplay.php?f=62
Cutting is usually an exit, a way to get away from problems/feelings through something you control. Your mom is wrong in blaming things on you, which is essentially what she's doing in fighting with you over you not appreciating her enough. It's not healthy for either of you. She's not being constructive or trying to really help the situation. It's easily something you could discuss rather than fight and cry over. It sounds like she just has a lot of issues as well and isn't coping or dealing with any of them, and that's affecting you too. I don't know enough of the situation to really help but so much, and I don't know if you've found someone to talk to or get help from- a counselor or anything. But I think you know there's problems that you need to deal with, and as long as you're willing to try and look for help then that's definitely a step in the right direction.
(This is caustic, btw, I got on the mule to accept a trade and schtuff and am lazy so I post with the mule xD)
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Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 6:50 pm
Mechanism I... hope you're having fun. I honestly don't understand why people do that. Apparently you don't either. you wont know unless you do it. I thought it was sooo stupid and i didn't understand why people would do it. Now I understand. I don't recomend it. Its sorta addictive. Its like the one time im in control. I do it alone, in my room, It serves as a excape. and i never thought i would do it. Im sorta scared I don;t want my parents to find out cause it be horrible for them. My friends (2 cut but not every night) Would freak out. Im afraid I will lose them or they'll tell someone that i cut. At the same time I like the feeling of control. Sorta like a cleansing.
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Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 8:00 pm
I'm going to do my best to keep as much blood inside my veins as possible. 3nodding
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 12:26 am
E_Night Yes I've surcomed to this simple joy. Now please don't be angry with me. I don't know why but it makes me happy. It started out with scratching and with my long nails it wasn't soon till i broke the skin and bled. Then after a while I recently started cutting. Im not trying to kill myself and im very careful of where my veins are so i don't cut them. I... It original started when my mom and i had a fight. about how i don't appriciate her. She said she crys every day because i don't appriciate her. I was crying and thinking i don deserve to live if i made my mom cry. without thinking i started scratching and i stoped when i realize what i had done. everyday so far this week my mom has left. My parents are in counsling. but like hell thats working. The yell and scream and its horrible. so yes this led to me cutting i know i shouldn't but it makes me feel like everything is okay. I really don't know what to do.
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 9:51 am
Agreed. I've had the same conversation with my girlfriend, who used to cut. Cutting is a means of escape, when theres nowhere else to turn. But, for her, there's always someone she could turn to; me. I'm always here for her; I've never turned a blind eye to her problems, so she has no good reason to cut anymore. And she hasn't for a good 6 months. I know that for a fact, too, because we're on our high school swim team together, so there's very little I don't see on a daily basis. You say that your friends will freak out if they found out that you cut, well maybe thats a sign that they care about you. Maybe that means that one of them, if not all of them, are willing to be there for you; to hear your problems and help you work through them, just the way I do with my Steph heart . Sometimes all it takes is someone to be there with you to make it all so much easier. heart
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 8:25 pm
subtleessence134 Agreed. I've had the same conversation with my girlfriend, who used to cut. Cutting is a means of escape, when theres nowhere else to turn. But, for her, there's always someone she could turn to; me. I'm always here for her; I've never turned a blind eye to her problems, so she has no good reason to cut anymore. And she hasn't for a good 6 months. I know that for a fact, too, because we're on our high school swim team together, so there's very little I don't see on a daily basis. You say that your friends will freak out if they found out that you cut, well maybe thats a sign that they care about you. Maybe that means that one of them, if not all of them, are willing to be there for you; to hear your problems and help you work through them, just the way I do with my Steph heart . Sometimes all it takes is someone to be there with you to make it all so much easier. heart Your such a nice friend. I've been talking to my friend about it. Hes like you should stop cause its addictive. It sorta helped me to talk to him but still my parents wont stop fighting its horrible i hate it.
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 11:46 pm
Oh, hun. Please don't--there are better alternatives. Challenge yourself not to, because that is where the control is. You want to be strong, you do everything not to hurt yourself. You get yourself into that rhythm, and life is going to be a lot better for you. You have to face yourself and know that right now, you are being weak. You are not in control right now, no matter what you think. You will be in control once you take that pleasure away from yourself. Be strong.
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Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 6:53 am
I think people cut, because they are feeling pain that they can't explain or cope with. It's much easier to deal with physical pain than emotional pain. Cutting is a way for those said people to transfer their emotional pain into physical pain, and thus hopefully make it easier to deal with.
That's what I've been told by those who do it.
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 4:51 am
E_Night, I do it too, but, how is it addicting? I'm manic depressive, and over 2 months, I've only done it 4 times. I really don't ahve to, but it actually helps for me, so I use it. Sure, I have a couple scars, but, that's nothing. Like _caustic_ said, you should get some parent/child counseling. No offense or anything by that.
Tiptoer
P.S. Don't say it isn't the right thing to do though if you never have before. For some it helps, and for some, it just makes it worse.
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 5:13 pm
I chalanged myself not to cut last night and i didn't. I looked at the cuts today and thought why the hell am i doing this? I had PE today and i put makeup on my arm. My parents havent fought today, so its a good day. 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 5:24 pm
E_Night I chalanged myself not to cut last night and i didn't. I looked at the cuts today and thought why the hell am i doing this? I had PE today and i put makeup on my arm. My parents havent fought today, so its a good day. 3nodding x a million
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 8:19 pm
heart heart
Much congrats on that^^
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