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 Posted: Tue Apr 21, 2009 6:18 pm
My dad has a problem with me being "Bi". That's what I am in my parents eyes. My mom is in denial and hopes that I am straight and my dad has a problem in general. I am a lesbian and my friends are totally chill with it. When it comes to sleeping over with my girlfriend that my dad is not convinced that we are just friends(we want them to believe that) he thinks that I shouldn't sleep over anyone's house when my girlfriend is there. I also come from a family with a military background.
Can someone help me on this one? Like, how can I convince my parents that I am not going out with her?
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Posted: Tue Apr 21, 2009 8:49 pm
sorry, love. can't help. tryin to settle my own problems.
last weekend was the first time in months that i was allowed to spend the night at a girls house, and that's cuz my parents both know that her parents don't like gay people. but it's cool, cuz they don't know about me. i'm lucky, though, cuz my moms in denial, so she likes that i chill with boys cuz she thinks it'll make me fall in love with one of them (ew!) and my dad thinks that chillen with girls will make me be more like them (he swears that i should dress hoochie just cuz i'm a girl still. it's annoying) so yeah.
man, good luck though. you could do the obnoxious teen thing and say "She's not my gf!" a million times, but i dunno how far it'll get you. with luck, it'll just take a bit of time.
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the_forgotten_thought Captain
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Posted: Wed Apr 22, 2009 5:38 am
I wish both my parents were in denial. I've told my dad multiple ttimes that we're just friends and just a couple weeks ago he told me that he didn't believe me. So now I am not trusted by my own father. My mom pretty much knows and she accepts it. But it's my dad. To him, I'm not allowed to see Jamie at all.
My dad wants me to dress girlie. My mom could care less as long as I'm covered.
I'm not allowed to sleep over if it's only her which gave me the clue that she knows and accepts it.
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Posted: Wed Apr 22, 2009 6:47 am
well, at least she accepts it, that's a good start. when a friend of mine slept over last year, my mum suddenly decided that she couldn't sleep in my bed and she had to sleep with her sister and i'd sleep with mine. they do recognize it i think, and at times like that they feel that they have to open their eyes to it. I dunno how you'd convince them otherwise, especially if she is your girlfriend. all i can think of is continuing to tell them. or make faces when they say it? that's what i do when i talk about my friends who're guys and they'll be like "ooooh, is that your boyfriend? and i'm like, ew, no!! and they're all "suuuure" cos i dunno, relatives are supposed to be like that i guess. it does get rather annoying, and i think they may continue to do it until i come to thanksgiving or something and they catch me making out with a girlfriend in the car or something xD
and i so understand, my mum is always yelling at me to stop wearing boy's clothes. i like boxers and stuff, and she gets on my case and gets really pissed xD i dunno, she's on and off though. too complicated.
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Posted: Wed Apr 22, 2009 6:54 am
I don't think lying to your parents is the best way to get around the problem. When/if they have confirmation about your relationship with a girl, they're going to be more weary of who you hang around with, and it will escalate the situation more, and you're not going to have a whole lot of freedom to do what you want. My two cents.
Sidenote: Military background? Hellooooo the military is crawling with lesbians (as far as i know from what the media and my army mates have told me =P).
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 10:59 pm
Honestly, I don't know what you'd be able to do so they would see it differently. Maybe pretend you're going out with a boy? but that would be hard, to live in secrecy like that.
I know how you feel though. When my mom and I talked about Bi-sexuality and gayness she basically said "I hope you don't turn out that way." It hurt, because i already knew I was bi.
Like I said maybe pretending to date a guy would work, as long as both he and your girlfriend knew about it and were cool with it. But it's still not a good way. Personally I would rather be public about whom I love and have my mom just have to deal with it instead of pretending to be with someone I didn't love while hiding in secrecy.
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the_forgotten_thought Captain
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Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 4:46 pm
Attracting Opposites Honestly, I don't know what you'd be able to do so they would see it differently. Maybe pretend you're going out with a boy? but that would be hard, to live in secrecy like that. I know how you feel though. When my mom and I talked about Bi-sexuality and gayness she basically said "I hope you don't turn out that way." It hurt, because i already knew I was bi. Like I said maybe pretending to date a guy would work, as long as both he and your girlfriend knew about it and were cool with it. But it's still not a good way. Personally I would rather be public about whom I love and have my mom just have to deal with it instead of pretending to be with someone I didn't love while hiding in secrecy. it's weird cuz my mom dated two guys in high school that were gay so she could help keep them in the closet, but when i came out to her she flipped! now she's most worried about me being a trannie (which i was pretty worried i was for awhile, not that it's a problem) but she still has trouble referring to me as gay. haha, one time she was talking to me about my shorts (which she thought looked great until she found out they were guy shorts) and she was like, "you know, just cuz your... well... just cuz your... gay, you don't have to dress like that..." haha it was funny cuz she was trying so hard not to say that i was gay. =P i know, i'm a bad child
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Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 10:41 pm
xVampirexMassacrex My dad has a problem with me being "Bi". That's what I am in my parents eyes. My mom is in denial and hopes that I am straight and my dad has a problem in general. I am a lesbian and my friends are totally chill with it. When it comes to sleeping over with my girlfriend that my dad is not convinced that we are just friends(we want them to believe that) he thinks that I shouldn't sleep over anyone's house when my girlfriend is there. I also come from a family with a military background. Can someone help me on this one? Like, how can I convince my parents that I am not going out with her? ok you in such a hard situation and i relate cause im going throught the same thing my bfs dad was conviced that i was straight then it changed and my family is ok with him spending the night but he cant cause of his dad well its sounds just stupid but the only choices for you (it seems) is your parents gots to get over it or bring home a bf *wink*wink* in my situation nothing will work so im stuck to seeing him once a week
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Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 1:51 am
What I'll say is that I know where you're coming from. My girlfriend and I had some problems and I came out to my mom. She thinks it's a phase and she think sit's over. I'm allowed to be her friend but I can't talk to her until school starts (which I do anyway) and all that.
You know how I'm fixing it?
I'm getting a fake boyfriend.
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Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 7:45 pm
If you get a "boyfriend" it could help you and complicate things also, cause what if someone you like, who also wants you, sees you "kiss" him she might believe you're taken
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