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 Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 4:00 pm
My boyfriend [what?] won't admit that we're going out.
We're both sort of shy, and he's my first boyfriend and I'm his first girlfriend and stuff, but he won't admit it to anyone. Sure, he doesn't try to avoid me or anything.. but I'm sort of confused about everything. For example, should I just give this thing time? Or should I tell him that I don't think he likes me as much as I like him? I'm really new at this.
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 4:16 pm
If he's not commited enough to admit the both of you are dating, then he isn't worth dating.
endofstory
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 4:21 pm
Tirion If he's not commited enough to admit the both of you are dating, then he isn't worth dating. endofstory But this criteria involves the perceptions of other people. I wouldn't waste my time with any of this relationship crap, but it is my understanding that you ridiculous types aren't supposed to care what other people think of your relationship.
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 4:26 pm
Sir_Cathl_Peabody Tirion If he's not commited enough to admit the both of you are dating, then he isn't worth dating. endofstory But this criteria involves the perceptions of other people. I wouldn't waste my time with any of this relationship crap, but it is my understanding that you ridiculous types aren't supposed to care what other people think of your relationship. I think you missed my point. The point is that he obviously cares enough about what other people think of him to lie about his relationship. I'm not saying he has to sing it from the rooftops, but denying it is going on at all isn't good.
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 4:35 pm
I really think you should talk to him about it. Find out why it's a big deal to him. If he's not ready to tell people you are in a relationship then he probably isn't ready to be in a relationship at all.
You sound fairly young so I advise to most teens that you wait until 15 or 16 before you really start dating. That was you are actually mature enough to be involved in a relationship and understand what's involved. I know there are younger people that are more mature but from my experiences this is what I suggest. Take your younger years to have fun with your friends and do well in school. That way it's easier to maintain a balanced life as you get older.
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 5:10 pm
Tirion Sir_Cathl_Peabody Tirion If he's not commited enough to admit the both of you are dating, then he isn't worth dating. endofstory But this criteria involves the perceptions of other people. I wouldn't waste my time with any of this relationship crap, but it is my understanding that you ridiculous types aren't supposed to care what other people think of your relationship. I think you missed my point. The point is that he obviously cares enough about what other people think of him to lie about his relationship. I'm not saying he has to sing it from the rooftops, but denying it is going on at all isn't good. He's not the one coming for advice here. She is. While your accusations against him may be true, she is the one we are talking to. She is overly concerned that people know that they're in a relationship.
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 5:43 pm
Sir_Cathl_Peabody Tirion Sir_Cathl_Peabody Tirion If he's not commited enough to admit the both of you are dating, then he isn't worth dating. endofstory But this criteria involves the perceptions of other people. I wouldn't waste my time with any of this relationship crap, but it is my understanding that you ridiculous types aren't supposed to care what other people think of your relationship. I think you missed my point. The point is that he obviously cares enough about what other people think of him to lie about his relationship. I'm not saying he has to sing it from the rooftops, but denying it is going on at all isn't good. He's not the one coming for advice here. She is. While your accusations against him may be true, she is the one we are talking to. She is overly concerned that people know that they're in a relationship. She's concerned with his actions, and how they reflect his feelings for her. What he's doing isn't showing that he cares for her. He doesn't have to tell everyone, but at least tell the truth when they ask.
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 5:47 pm
What I remember from grade school up through high school, people - guys especially - were always too shy to admit who their girlfriend was until they were at least about 15 or 16 years old, but again, all of that still depends on the maturity of the individual. It seems to me that by what you're telling me, this guy clearly isn't mature enough to handle a relationship right now - for whatever reason, he's still stuck in the grade school embarrassment mentality of relationships. While he may be your "first," if you guys are having a problem with something as normally-simple as this, I would say you're better off leaving him and finding someone that will treat your relationship with the respect you want it to.
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 8:40 pm
Tirion Sir_Cathl_Peabody Tirion Sir_Cathl_Peabody Tirion If he's not commited enough to admit the both of you are dating, then he isn't worth dating. endofstory But this criteria involves the perceptions of other people. I wouldn't waste my time with any of this relationship crap, but it is my understanding that you ridiculous types aren't supposed to care what other people think of your relationship. I think you missed my point. The point is that he obviously cares enough about what other people think of him to lie about his relationship. I'm not saying he has to sing it from the rooftops, but denying it is going on at all isn't good. He's not the one coming for advice here. She is. While your accusations against him may be true, she is the one we are talking to. She is overly concerned that people know that they're in a relationship. She's concerned with his actions, and how they reflect his feelings for her. What he's doing isn't showing that he cares for her. He doesn't have to tell everyone, but at least tell the truth when they ask. I didn't see any other problems listed in the original posting, so his "feelings" must be fine. You still have not addressed the fact that she's basing her assesment of the relationship on what other people think.
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Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 12:11 am
Wow! Posted dead on mid-night. [/end random]
Is this, he won't admit it to you?
Or won't admit it to people in general?
ie:
You both act like bf&gf but when you ask if he is he says "No"
or
Is it that if asked if he has a gf he says "No"
Is it just that he's not telling anyone?
Is it a case of you think he's your bf but he doesn't?
More info means a better answer given to you...
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Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:31 pm
Ask him straight out if he is too shy. Ask him the reason he won't tell anybody and if he doesn't have a good answer you should seriously reevalute the situation. Just because he is your first doesnt meant you have to hold onto him forever.
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Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:34 pm
Just because he doesn't tell other people that you're his girlfriend doens't mean he doesn't like you. He's probably just embarrsed about it and doesn't want people bugging him about it. With my frist boyfriend, heck even with my second one, I didn't tell people at first that he was my boyfriend. I was just really shy about it, and saying that you have a boyfriend or girlfriend is a big thing. I think you should mention it to him, that he's not telling people that, and also give it time. Just because he doesn't call you his girlfriend doesn't mean he doesn't like you any less. Trust me. I'm like that.
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Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 8:47 pm
I'm guessing his just shy and nervous. He's probably not used to having a girlfriend yet.
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 5:53 am
If you have never dated then it can be a little weird. And for a guy theer friends might be Jealus* and make fun of him and he really doesn't need that on his ego. Not Sayinga huge ego is good but having a girlfriend or boyfriend is supose to make you feel good and your ego is much better if you really know some one cares for you that much!
* Sorry I'm a 17 year-old who can't spell
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