Ummm...My poetry?

[Musician At Heart]

Umm i guess this is where i should post some of my poems eh? Ok then.  

[Musician At Heart]

A Father's Last Words
Son,
As I lay here on my bed,
Awaiting deaths embrace,
It pains me to see that look of anguish,
And the tear rolling down your face,
Every one must go sometime,
And it’s almost my turn to go,
So I leave you with my last bit of wisdom,
These things you must know,
Always listen to your mother,
She’s the best you’ve got,
Don’t do drugs, drink, or fight,
Also don’t cuss a lot,
Be kind and gentle all the time,
Stand up for what you believe in,
Help someone every chance you get,
Do your best to make them grin,
Stay away from gangs,
Don’t be stupid like me,
They only lead to trouble,
And every gang member gets killed eventually,
Stay in school,
I know it gets hard,
But a good education,
Will be your Trump card,
And Now I need you to be strong,
For mommy and me,
And look towards the future,
With joy and glee,
You have your whole life to life,
So many things to do,
And don’t forget son,
I…Love…. You….  

[Musician At Heart]

Goodnight

It seems as if yesterday,
We had just met,
And now you are far away,
To far for me to get,
Yet each night as I lay my head down,
I do not feel sad,
I know you will be in my dreams,
For this I am glad,
You may not know my true feelings,
But one day ill tell you,
When we finally meet again,
Ill express my love anew,
So I weep not but wait for the day,
Ill be at your door,
And finally I can hold you and say,
Ill be here forever more,
Until the day we meet again,
Ill perfect my little schemes,
But at least I know one thing,
Ill see you in my dreams,
Goodnight  

[Musician At Heart]

True Love
She says she’s moving a long long way,
To a place where she can find laughter,
A place very far away,
Too far for him to chase after,
He swears to her she’ll be found,
And in his heart she’ll stay,
And there is no happiness around,
On the day she moves away,
But he swears to find her,
With all his heart,
For he cant bare,
To be too long apart,

And as they say their last goodbyes,
Tears stain her beautiful eyes,

He wipes them away,
Stares into them one last time,
Sadness in your eyes, he says,
Should be a crime,
I wish u happiness,
Through all your days,
I wish you all joys,
In all forms, in all ways,
And finally they do depart,
And the boy lives his life on,
But one-day grief grabs his heart,
He gets in his car, and he’s gone,
Off to find her at any cost,
For he misses her so,
The thought of seeing her beautiful face,
Gives him the courage to go,
And finally he pulls up to her house,
And he runs up to the door,
He knocks, and when she answers,
“I told u id see you once more!”
They embrace in a hug,
And tears fall to their feet,
But not tears of sadness, No,
There’s only love on this street.  

[Musician At Heart]

Life
A road full of twists and turns,
it throws u to the ground,
leaves u hepless, leaves u weak,
it laughs without a sound,
It lures u with happiness,
it fills u with hope,
then throws it in ur face,
and continues while u mope,
When ur on ur knees,
when ur down on ur luck,
just remember this one thing,
lifes just a dream before u wake up,
before death takes u away,
before the big sleep,
before u r gone for good,
ur in real deep,
ppl hate and attack wat they plz,
they feel no mercy if u beg and plead,
they'll decieve u and leave u there,
even make u feel worse and not even care,
they make the intense pain stay,
untill death is the only way,
its time to wake up  

[Musician At Heart]

The Intellectuals
We are the people in the backround,
We are the ones pushed around,
We are the ones who are hated,
And the voice with no sound,
We stand tall above the rest,
We feel no remorse,
We look at the world with hate,
As we let the pain corse,
Our world has been darkened,
Our hearts turned black,
Our minds have been opened,
So we dont look back,
Our lives are full of pain,
Our thoughts have no love,
Our feelings shall stay dark,
Towards a dark word below and above,
We have been tortures,
We've tattered souls,
We've never been normal,
For we are the intellectuals.  

[Musician At Heart]

Nobody
In every heart,
there is a dark side,
but in all darkness,
the light does hide,
without one,
the other cannot exitst,
and everything fades,
and becomes nothingness,
as each goes on forever,
than a fact must be true,
the same must go for nothingnes,
for me, and for you,
and although memories fade,
and friends part,
they live on,
in another heart,
and even though you dont know,
im sure you could see,
how a world could be changed,
by a nobody,
by a memory from anothier place,
livng in the hearts of everybody  

[Musician At Heart]

If I could Start my Life from scratch

If i could start my life from scratch,
If i could turn back time,
I'd b a better person,
I'd have a better rhyme,
If i did some things different
Then im sure you'd see,
For correcting my mistakes,
People wouldnt hate me,
But should i change my path,
set my sights on something new,
Id be extremely sad,
I wouldnt know what to do,
For through all my screw ups,
And through all my pain,
I seem to notice through time,
A few wonderful friends i did gain,
If i could start my life from scratch,
I wouldnt for you see,
I could not do that to my friends,
Or people who care for me.  

[Musician At Heart]

The Elements

Fire is alive,
it feeds off the air,
it brings with it destruction,
and leaves people with dispare,
Moving foreward,
it has no regrets,
the ultimate destructive force,
it has one mindset.

Water is soothing,
it comes to your side,
it calms you down silently,
its the best guide,
Yet if you make it angry,
If you mess around,
If you are not careful,
It will put you in the ground.

Air is all around,
its a part of everyone,
a mediator at its best,
Yet it never makes a sound,
It does rage rage at times,
and may even scare everyone,
but only to prove a point,
and then it is done.

Earth is serene,
its beauty is everywhere,
The magnificent forests,
The trees swaying in the air,
Earth does not complain,
it does not retort,
It does not hate people,
it loves all of every sort.

The elements are all around,
and work in harmony with no sound.  

[Musician At Heart]

Ok This Is Probably My Worst One

What do I see?
I look at the world,
So dark and grey,
And see the peril,
And destruction these days,
Hunger, War,
Abuse, Murder,
Corruption from power,
A father whos not there,
Children crying for their moms,
Drugs rushing through viens,
And I've notice things like drinking,
Can cause so much pain;

A cold grey morning,
A boy packs up his junk,
He starts to drive home,
Swerving, hes drunk,
Down the winding mountain,
He swerves in the wrong lane,
An innocent life is taken,
After hous of pain;

A misty summers night,
On the beaches shore,
A man hides out,
to settle the score,
He's out of jail,
for a horible crime,
He wants revenge,
For his done time,
The judge walks,
With his son,
A shot rings out,
The deed is done;

A normal day,
It's christmas time,
Families shop happily,
Sparing not a dime,
Some unknown words,
Spark panic and fear,
Off goes the bomb,
Music to the terrorsits ear,
Up in smoke,
Goes all their lives,
Fathers, Mothers, Sons, Daughters,
Husbands and wives;

I look towards the future,
And wat do i see?
The world in flames,
In a dead sea,
We need to stop,
And help the world,
Let the flag of our love,
Come unfurled.  

[Musician At Heart]

Feel free to leave Feedback...  

[Kharne Bloodhowler]

For now, I really locked in on "The Elements." Pagan background I guess heh. Anyway, overall, not too shabby though I have to say it wavers in the message. It is better to work towards a single, complete thought instead of working more than one angle...simplicity is genius.
What makes the elements work is the fact that each one is both helpful and destructive. Fire can be warmth or can burn you. Water is the essence of life (we are made mostly of water lol). Air is the breath of life but is the source of a tornado. Earth allows plants to grow and bears food for sustenance but shows it fury through earthquakes.

It felt like you focused on negative for fire, both positive and negative for water, positive and negative for air, and positive for earth.
For the basic elements of life, these are the primary except we are missing the soul. Using the symbol of a pentacle, each of these are represented.

Hmmm, as far as imagery goes, no problems.
Difference in word choice for me, but not bad.
In the air stanza, you put rage twice...simple mistake there.

Obviously open form, but no problems with that.

Yeah sorry, it is late at night and I take the elements quite seriously heheh.
Overall, not too bad.