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 Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 10:30 pm
Found this online, thought it was funny.
Barbie
c/o Mattel, Inc.
El Segundo, CA 90245
December 23, 1997
Dear Santa:
Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it). So, here's my holiday wish list for 1998, Santa:
1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have anyidea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt?
2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?!? It looks like cellulite!
3. A REAL man...maybe GI Joe. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me Elmo over that wimped-out excuse for a boyfriend Ken. And what's with that earring anyway? If I'm gonna have to suffer with him, at least make him (and me) anatomically correct.
4. Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementionedKen-wimp away once he is anatomically correct.
5. Breast reduction surgery. I don't care whose arm you have to twist, just get it done.
6. A jogbra. To wear until I get the surgery.
7. A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don't cut it. How about a systems analyst? Or better yet, an advertising account exec!
8. A new, more 90s persona. Maybe "PMS Barbie", complete with a miniature container of chocolate chip cookie doughice cream and a bag of chips; "Animal Rights Barbie", with my very own pain gun, outfitted with a fake fur coat and handcuffs; or "Stop Smoking Barbie", sporting a removable Nicotrol patch and equipped with several packs of gum.
9. No more McDonald's endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl.
10. Mattel stock options. It's been 37 years--I think deserve it.
Ok, Santa, that's it. Considering my valuable contribution to society, I don't think these requests are out of line. If you disagree, then you can find yourself a new bimbo doll for next Christmas. It's that simple.
Yours truly,
Barbie
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 8:17 pm
question ninja Hmm isn't that when the Bratz dolls started appearing??? They started out innocent enough, with their nice clothes, now look at them they are all most as bad as Barbie is now, twisted but you don't see them complaining rofl rofl
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Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 11:17 am
I was reading in the paper that Barbie turns 50 this year. People can complain about her all they want, somebody must be doing something right with how popular she still is.
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Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2009 10:58 pm
The collector barbies especially are worth something.
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Posted: Tue Aug 04, 2009 10:58 am
Bestmom question ninja Hmm isn't that when the Bratz dolls started appearing??? They started out innocent enough, with their nice clothes, now look at them they are all most as bad as Barbie is now, twisted but you don't see them complaining rofl rofl
From what I've seen when I babysat, Brats are worse than barbie. They dress like skanks and thugs. At least barbies a classy slut, lol.
~ I love the part about GI Joe! whee
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Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 11:00 pm
Another reason why kids shouldn't play with Bratz. They make their kids into one of them pretty much. Then parents get mad when they dress like that.
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Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 2:01 pm
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Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 4:58 am
awww... i have two daughters both grown now... but i depended on Miss Barbie a lot... what the heck Santa... give her her wishes...
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