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 Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 8:29 pm
The talk with Tepin's mother had reminded him of more than just caring for his sister.
It reminded him of a lot of things. Of what was important. Beyond selfishness, beyond anger. Even as the skies broke and it began pouring rain, he loped down the sidewalk - it had been a long run, and his lungs were straining for breath at this point.
But he'd ran - gone and went, and now here he was, shivering in the rain and standing in front of Quinn's door yet again, a plastic bag clenched tightly in his hand. His hair was plastered to his forehead, bangs brushing over his eyes - and the clothes, weighed down against his skin.
He must've looked like a drowned cat, panting for breath and standing like a stray at the top of these stairs. As pathetic as one too, judging by the look that must've been on his face.
He didn't want to fight him anymore. Not until the day came where they had to.
Leaning his forehead against the door, he waited for his breathing to settle, halfway sheltered by the building. He told himself he was waiting; really, he was trying to think. What to say? What to do? He'd never had to do this before - never had to hurt in this way before.
Straightening back out, he gave the door a knock, waiting.
Would he answer?
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 8:45 pm
Quinn had been staring out his window at the rain when he saw a dark figure run by, and then run up to his house. He saw who it was, and he hard the knock. He froze up for a second, then his eyes watered up and he ran to the door. Right before he answered it, his hand hesitated at the knob.
Vale could still be mad.
But, Quinn was never one for keeping things inside. He should just go for it, right?
He stared at the door, his hand frozen just around the knob.
Yes. Yes he should.
He flung the door open and leapt out, latching onto Vale's wet clothes and burying his face in the boy's neck in a huge embrace.
"Vale," His face was now soaking wet from being on Vale, and he may or may not have been crying.
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry." He tightened his death grip on Vale even more.
"I was such a whiny, overdramatic b***h. I'm sorry." He kept his face against Vale's neck. "I'm so sorry."
It had been harder than he thought to stay away from Vale.
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 9:05 pm
The surprise attack was...surprising. Suddenly finding the other godling in his arms was even more so. Hearing the words?
He was floored, and probably hugged too tightly back, a skirl of nervousness swirling in his stomach - Quinn's face, pressed to his neck, but it was Quinn in his arms --
"Ee't ee's okay," he reassured, crunching the other even closer to him. Quinn could damn well deal with the rain. Valeriu didn't want him to see his face right now. It'd be too embarrassing. "I am sorry, too."
Suddenly remembering with a jolt, he pulled back slightly, fumbling the slick plastic of the package before presenting the wrapped gift - the evidence of the reason why he looked like he'd been tossed in a river and left to drown.
"I got you a present," he stated, quite unnecessarily, looking with intent interest at Quinn's feet and ears flicked back.
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 9:18 pm
Quinn looked at the present, and took it, leading Vale inside. He didn't open it till he had dragged Vale by the hand into his room, and sat down on his bed. He didn't care if Vale got it wet--the bed would live. He carefully unwrapped the package, tossing the paper to the floor. He opened it up, and his eyes widened, a huge grin crossing his face.
"You didn't! Really?" He held up his new pair of incredibly small athletic lime-green shorts. He noticed that Vale had gotten them a size too big. He didn't mind, he could wear them when he was a bit older, and Vale didn't know. It was the thought that counted. He turned to Vale and practically tackled him in another huge hug. "That's so sweet." Vale didn't even have to say anything. Quinn understood. It had probably been just as hard for him to stay away. Quinn snuggled up against Vale, smilling. He reached his hand up to fiddle with his hair, and remembered that it was still soaking wet.
"Here, I'll get you a towel." He ran out of the room and came back a moment later with a huge towel. He advanced on Vale with a mischievous look on his face. "We gotta get you dried off!" He tackled Vale for the third time in the past few minutes, this time to knock him over and straddle him, drying his hair with the towel ferociously.
"Haha! I will get you, Catnip! I have to hurry, or your fur will start to stink!"
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 9:34 pm
It was incredibly relieving, getting hugs again. Barely a day had gone by and already he'd been on withdrawals. Was this what a relationship was like? This consuming desire to be in constant contact with someone?
It was enthralling.
And then Quinn popped up with the towel, and suddenly it was not so enthralling.
He knew this set-up.
He made to scramble off the bed too late - tackled and left trying to push Quinn's hands away with discontented "MRRRRR" rising in the back of his throat, scowling and hair possibly fluffing up to even spikier proportions. He finally gave up, laying flat and crossing his arms - giving Quinn the unamused kitty look.
Towel-time was not fun time for Valeriu.
Plus, this - this was fast. Overenthusiastic, just like Quinn always was. It couldn't have been this easy.
He snaked his hands up, grabbing a hold of Quinn's wrists the next chance he got to stall the other boy, staring up at him seriously.
"Ee's this really alright, Quinn?"
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 9:46 pm
Quinn dropped the towel, and sighed, letting himself fall from his knees to just laying on top of Vale, curled up against him.
"Why wouldn't it be alright? I never really had any problems with you. I was being stupid. The fact that you came back here makes everything better." He rolled off of Vale, and turned away from him, facing the wall next to the bed. "But, if you aren't alright with me, still, I'd understand."
He sighed. He knew it wouldn't be that easy. He knew it. Vale wanted to make up, but he wouldn't want to slip right back into the way things were. it was too easy. Vale always had to do things the hard way! He huffed and crossed his arms, staring at the wall, upset with himself.
Vale didn't want to be tackled, and have his hair dried. he didn't want to be dragged around his house. Vale was still upset with him. He has just assumed, because of Tepin, that an apology would make everything better. But apparently, his statement earlier was correct.
That's not how things work in the big-boy world. He sighed.
The big-boy world sucked.
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 10:05 pm
Looking at Quinn's back, he frowned.
And then punched that mofo - socked him, right in the side. Not softly this time, but hard.
"Don't be stupid," he snapped, sitting up and glaring at the other boy. "Of course I am not alright v'ith you. V'hen ee't comes to you, I have never been alright." Looking away, he grabbed the towel, peeling off his sweatshirt and trying to warm and dry his chilled skin, snorting.
"No, v'hen ee't comes to you, I am selfish." He worked his fingers through his hair, trying to get it back into some semblance of order; still speaking casually, although the tremor to his arm spoke differently.
"I changed for you," the t-shirt was gone, "and I v'ant you to change for me."
That was Vale's assertion. He'd changed - gotten used to the hugs, and the kissing, took a chance on Quinn. Held himself back time and time again when that killing urge came up. He'd become an adult - to keep pace with the other boy's needs.
Valeriu had needs, and it was time Quinn started changing to meet them too.
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 10:15 pm
Quinn was unable to roll with the punch or even attempt to get away from it, because he didn't see it coming at all. "Ow!" He winced, and rolled over to look at Vale. "That wasn't very nice." He listened to the things Vale said, though, and he nodded. He wondered if Vale realized he was stripping. He wasn't going to complain.
"I...I have been. Changing, I mean. I'm just not as good at it, I guess." He sighed, and ran a hand through his own hair. "Today, me and Tepin spent several hours together. Did you know that?" He laughed. "And she doesn't like grilled cheeses. The one thing I can cook, she doesn't like. Of course." He rolled his eyes. "We watched T.V.. It went well. She can be sweet, I guess, when she's trying to be. She fell asleep on my couch. I carried her back over to your house, and left her with the babysitter."
Quinn looked at Vale, remembering something, and hoping he would be proud of him. "I have an interview for a job tomorrow! At a tattoo parlor. I thought, maybe, you'd...You know. Need some help. Since you're taking care of two kids now. I can help support them. It isn't a big deal. I missed the first interview I had because of you, did you know that?" He remembered, and laughed darkly. "That was when you killed my beanie." He scratched his head, as if he could still feel it there.
"Just...Just tell me what you want me to do, and I'll try my best." Quinn closed his eyes, his arms limp at his sides, body stretched out across the bed. "I promise."
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 10:47 pm
"That ee's a very thoughtful thing," he could commend Quinn for that, voice carefully quiet. "Thank you for thinking of me. But I do not need money, or gifts, or donations."
It was touching, to know that Quinn at least would do that for him. But...Valeriu didn't need those things. The towel twisted in his hands.
What he really wanted --
"Promise?"
The only thing he wanted, for himself --
"I v'ant you,"
To not be alone anymore.
"To do your best at,"
To have someone he could really rely on, sometimes.
"Being yourself," he finished, and somehow the words rang hollower than they should to him. They were the right words, he was sure of it.
He couldn't be selfish. He couldn't tell Quinn what he wanted him to do - that wasn't fair. He couldn't make the boy be someone he wasn't.
Tezcatlipoca was right. He and Quinn...it just wasn't, it wasn't going to work. They were too different - Valeriu wanted stability, and Quinn was wild as the seas. Valeriu wanted someone to lean on in those rare times the world was too much for even him, and Quinn was as flighty as air. Even if the Game didn't exist, it wouldn't work.
Damn gods were always right.
Rubbing the towel once more through his hair, he looked at the window with a frown.
"Do you have an umbrella?"
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 11:17 pm
Quinn blinked.
That was lame.
That was really lame.
Like, quote-from-an-old-classic-movie-that-no-one-actually-really-liked-anyway lame. Best at being himself? What the hell? Quinn had no idea how to respond to lameness of that epic proportion. Like, usually when Vale said cheesy things, they were cute, or chivalrous.
This was just lame.
Quinn shook his head. He wasn't going to tolerate that. Then, Vale asked for an umbrella. And the look on Vale's face...it was almost dejected, it seemed like.
Quinn didn't see it that way. Quinn was way out there; he needed someone to ground him. Vale's life had been too boring; he came along and spiced things up a bit, made it more spontaneous.
To Quinn, him and Vale matched perfectly. Just what they needed.
He was not going to stand for that dejected look on Vale's face.
He stood up, and marched out the door without a word, shutting it behind him, leaving Vale in the room with the door closed. He came back a second later with an umbrella.
He opened it up, and pointed at it.
"This is the only umbrella in our house." He opened up his palm, and sent several bolts of lightning, burning holes in its protective covering, rendering it useless.
"You're not leaving until the rain stops. Or we have some sort of closure on this." He looked at Vale, completely serious.
"You went and bought that gift for me. I owe you, obviously. I AM going to help you pay for Sydni and Little Girl, because it's completely stupid for you to handle it on your own." He unconciously raised his voice with each sentence. "I'm not going to do my best at 'being myself' because sometimes being myself sucks. You do things like this," he gestured to the present, "To make me happy, and that's what I'm trying to do for you. You are NOT going to dismiss me with a wave of a towel and a question about an umbrella." He had unconciously been stepping closer to Vale as he spoke, and at this point, their faces were almost touching.
"And you are not going to ******** leave this house until you ******** kiss me!" He pressed his lips against Vale's, almost violently.
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 12:02 am
That was a waste of a good umbrella.
"No," he scowled, crossing his arms and ears flattening. "I don't v'ant you to." His hackles were rising, glaring down Quinn defiantly. "I can take care of my family just fine. I don't need charity. I don't v'ant ee't." Did Quinn seriously think no one had offered, before? That Valeriu struggled with no help - that no one saw the young boy raising the sister on his own?
Quinn was sorely mistaken. He'd had offers for help before, and he'd turned them all down. It was better to work himself to the bone than to take a free ride. His pride wouldn't let him. As long as he could still provide and care for them, he wouldn't take a handout.
"I v'asn't trying to dismiss you," he shook his head, directing his glare to the side for the briefest second before swinging it back in aggravation, startled to find Quinn that close and almost leaning back in surprise.
And then Quinn was on him - a bad place to be when it came to exactly how not happy Valeriu was right now. He was torn - he'd become an addict to this affection, and was kissing back even more roughly than Quinn had dished out.
At the same time, he was still an angry kitty. A very offended, very angry kitty.
A bite and a snarl, and he jerked the other boy, twisting and throwing Quinn against the mattress before backing off, tail whipping in agitation and putting more steps between them. It was a shame there was a wall there - he wanted to keep backing up until he'd reached the safety of his house.
He was tense - god, he was tense. And angry, and Quinn could be so-! It made him want to slam his fist into the wall; but he was left clenching and unclenching his hands, as if it would do any good.
"Ee's that all your closure ee's?" he snapped, glaring at the other boy. "Kissing? Sex?" Yes, he could say the word, even if, in his anger, it still made him blush horribly. "Ee's that all that matters? All that makes up a relationship?"
He couldn't shut his mouth, now, even as some horrified part of him tried uselessly to shush it.
"I like the kissing. I like the hugging, and the hand-holding, and the ear-scratches-" God, he loved the ear-scratches, "And I might even like other things." His face couldn't get redder - he hoped it appeared more from anger. "But I v'ant more than that."
He was selfish - and after he'd decided not to be.
"I am sorry," more apologies, it was starting to drive him insane, "Ee't hasn't been a good," day, week, month, year? "time. I did not mean to snap at you."
Damn it, why did Quinn always drive him crazy?
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 12:40 am
"Yah, you did." Quinn sat on the bed, staring at the wall across from him. "You meant every word." There was a light crackle as lightning popped from him to the bedpost. He wasn't going to let that sit without a retort.
"It isn't charity. I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it for Sydni. And Tepin. I'm not going to make things harder on them just because you're too stubborn to accept money, Vale." He stood up, and walked over to his closet on the other side of the room. He flung it open, and pulled out another umbrella.
He threw it at Vale. "Here."
"You were TOO trying to dismiss me. You don't ask for an umbrella unless you're about to leave. I know that look. You were done. Finished. that was all." He pulled out a bright yellow rain jacket. He threw that at him too.
"No. That isn't my closure. It's my way of showing that I am willing to achieve this closure, because I like you, I really do." He slammed his closet shut, then stalked his way over to the other side of the room, opening the door. "Sure, sex is great, obviously, but--I've been trying to give you more than that, Vale!" He yelled the last part, and fell straight on the floor on his butt, pulling his knees up to his chest and hiding his face.
"You don't understand. I don't....Make commitments. I never have. Had. Until you. I don't stay with one person. I don't promise myself to them. I don't have real boyfriends. Didn't. Didn't. Didn't. Until you." He refused to look up at Vale, but his voice was plenty loud enough.
"I've been trying. Trying as hard as I can. Some of us aren't absolutely perfect people like you, Vale. Some of us are good at everything with a dollop of kindness on top of the humble pie we habitually eat from. Some of us can't go kick some dude's a** while being gorgeous and come home to feed a family and cook gourmet meals."
He shook his head, but still didn't look up.
"If it hasn't been a good time," He said, reciprocating back to where he started, "Then why didn't you tell me sooner?" He looked up, eyes wide, tears on the brim. "Then maybe I wouldn't have been fooling myself into thinking I might have been making someone else happy for a change." He pushed himself up, back to standing, and he glared at Vale defiantly.
"I'm going to the bathroom. You know where the door is." He stalked out of the room, and another door slammed a few seconds later.
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 1:13 am
His meals weren't exactly gourmet. And half the time they were heated from being frozen.
He dropped the jacket, the umbrella - set them on the bed and followed his ears out of the room.
He was being unfair. Really unfair to Quinn - his enemy, his friend. He deserved better than what Valeriu was giving. He was right.
He managed to find his way to the bathroom, staring at the door for a long minute before finally leaning against it, ears pricked to the sounds of a Quinn behind it.
"I didn't know," he admitted, shuffling his toes together with a frown. "That you thought of us like that. I thought - you have more experience. I didn't even have a single friend before you. I didn't think you v'ere..." He trailed off, shaking his head.
"You have made me happy," he amended, though then scowling at his feet. "And sometimes you also make me angry, too. You are ee'nsane."
"I'm not," he stated abruptly, straightening out. "I'm not perfect, or kind, or humble. I am clumsy - you know how many mistakes I have made v'ith Sydni already? I carried her around ee'n a backpack v'hen I v'as smaller." He barked out a laugh, shaking his head. "Not kind - I see you, I see children down the street, I see my neighbors, and all I see are prey. Every time v'e hug? I have to decide not to kill you. Not humble either - ee't ee's because of my pride that I don't v'ant people to help me. I v'ill run myself ee'nto the ground to avoid a free meal."
He crossed his arms, frowning and shifting his attention to the ceiling.
"My friend v'as killed, and I have done nothing about ee't. I haven't even gone back to our base. And Tepin, her mother..." He trailed off, biting his lip. He suddenly felt small - too small. "Sometimes, I am the same as her. I think the same things as her. V'hat ee't v'ould have been like ee'f I had let us be put ee'nto new homes - to not have this responsibility. To not have to worry every second of every day about her."
"Sometimes, I get tired too. And I say things I really don't mean, push away people I really don't mean to hurt," he added.
"I'm actually, really..." he scowled, and damn it if his eyes weren't burning again. "Scared. Of everything. Even me."
"So, I'm sorry," he pushed himself off the door, running a hand through his hair in discontent. "You don't deserve any of that. I am really...really bad news for you. And too headstrong to stop myself."
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 11:26 am
Quinn was sitting on the closed toilet lid, head in his hands. He heard Vale walking up, and listened to him talk all the way through before he said anything. He didn't move. He just sat there, silently. He reached over and clicked the door back unlocked, but made no move to open it. He walked over to the sink and turned it on, splashing himself in the face with water, then letting it drip back into the sink via his long nose.
He turned back to the door and opened it, looking at Vale, but not moving. "I'm glad you weren't put into homes. No one could have given Sydni what she needs more than you. Doing something about Ciro, who I assume you're talking about, would be stupid." Quinn decided not to mention that he had heard about it that morning from Fish; Vale would probably not be happy with that at all. "If he could kill Ciro, he could kill you." He refused to let tears well up in his eyes again. "And I don't want you to die." Quinn walked past him, back into his room, and laid face down on his bed.
There was nothing else he could say. No more retorts he wanted to make. It was the best complement he could give.
He just wanted the fighting to be over.
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 3:29 pm
He didn't know what to do now. It seemed that every time he chased down Quinn, the boy ran off again.
And his legs were pretty tired.
For the first time in his life, he realized that he might not be able to keep up.
No matter what Quinn might think, Vale wasn't inexhaustible. He didn't have an unlimited supply of determination and optimism.
He glanced towards where the door was, then back to Quinn's room.
He was strong. He was an adult. He was a man, he didn't need -- something twisted in him, crinkling and ripping with a sharp tear. He was all the things Quinn wasn't - and that meant he had to be all the things Quinn couldn't be. No, Valeriu couldn't be selfish.
Because he could keep running, no matter how tired he got.
Barely had the thought finished before he was at Quinn's bedside again, staring silently down at the other boy. A shift, and he was sitting cross-legged next to him, firmly reaching out a hand to gently trace at the tattoos that wrapped over Quinn's back.
He had to be what Quinn needed. Lips replaced fingertips, accompanied by the occasional brush of his too-long fangs.
Again, this was too close; he shook, trying not to bite too hard in case he couldn't stop himself, settling more comfortably on Quinn's back.
An adult. That's what he was. This was nothing. Those stories, what he'd learned - it was nothing. Those things were only special to kids.
Romance was never going to be what he'd thought it was, he knew that. Just as the world wasn't how he'd thought it should have been.
Just a bunch of silly stories and fairy tales. He smiled to himself.
"Do you v'ant to?"
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