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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 6:19 pm
Kimberly Masonette. Twenty-two years old, currently living in New York. Hobbies; Reading Twilight by Stephanie Meyer and wishing to be a vampire. Looks; long shoulder length black hair with hazel eyes. Dressing usually in her Twilight hooded sweater and blue jeans with her Reebok sneakers. Her nails are always painted and her bracelet consisting of a dark blue gem with a white sideways “X”. She is about five feet seven inches and is of good shape. She drives over to the liquor store everyday to meet up with her best friend Tina Wolffe and do crazy stuff.
It was ten o’clock at night and Kimberly was driving home when she stopped off for some gas for her purple Volkswagen Bug. It was her dream car since she was twelve years old and she always begged her mom to get her one when she was older, but she never did. Instead she went out and bought herself her own car. At the gas station an odd looking man was filling his red BMW and looking over at Kimberly frequently. He was about six foot two inches tall with brown hair and mysterious looking dark colored eyes. She turned her back and stopped filling the tank to put the pump away and when she looked back, he and his BMW were gone. A cold chill went down her spine as she crossed the lot and went into the store to pay for the gas. When she got back outside she half ran half walked, maybe more of a speed walk, to her car, got in and locked the door. She had never been that scared of pumping gas.
When Kim was inside she sighed a sigh of relief when she was finally inside her home. She lived on an almost abandoned street where there weren’t any homes close together. She threw her keys onto the table and sat there staring at the digital clock on her counter. A knock on the door made her jump and she wondered who it could be this late at night. She walked through the living room and to the front door only to open up to no one standing at the doorstep. When this usually occurs you would hear laughing off in the distance and see kids running to their houses, but in this situation she heard only the slight wind and rustling of leaves off in the distance. She closed the door and was half way to the kitchen when the knock came again. Stalking to the door she flung it open and it closed behind her leaving her outside in the night.
Kimberly looked around scared, for her outside light was not on and she couldn’t see anything in the darkness. She had a porch outside where she stood now and she crossed to the other side and sat down in a rocking chair for when Grandma visited. She sat in it and waited. Of course she didn’t go in because of the fact that she had locked the door before she hurried out into the darkness. She looked out into the darkness only to be stared back by darkness. No lamp posts were posted on her side of the road because of the fact that her house was just recently built and they never had any lamp posts available at the time. She turned her head quickly when a sharp pain engulfed her body and she nearly fell to the floor with agony, but maintained her balanced. She had never felt such pain in her whole life, she felt like she wanted to kill herself. Something was touching her. Something cold.
She couldn’t see, but that thing was gone now. She fell to the ground in agony and realized her house door was opened. She crawled inside and closed the door locking it behind her. She immediately went to the bathroom and checked herself over. She didn’t check herself too well for on her neck were two holes with blood dripping down.
Two years later
Kimberly Masonette walked through the park with her hooded sweater of Twilight on and the hood up on her head. It wasn’t a very bright day out, but she still had it up to keep the sun out of her face. She sat down on a nearby bench and gazed around the park. Tons of people walked by and stared at her like she was crazy wearing a hood in the summer time. Then she saw him. She remembered his complexion and his dark hair, but mostly his dark colored eyes. She stood up abruptly and went straight over to him. He looked at her and she threw a slap at his face, but he didn’t even flinch. His eyes, that were once light, turned dark, and he grabbed her hand before she could hit him again.
“You did this to me,” Kimberly said in a low voice so no one could hear, but him.
“Come, it’s not safe here,” The man said and hauled her to his BMW. She obediently sat in the passenger seat and the man drove off. They passed by the courthouse, bank, and post office before they reached an abandoned apartment right next to her street. How could she miss this going home? They got out of the car and he led the way into the abandoned apartment. They climbed three flights of stairs before they reached a clawed up metal door with a sign that read “Keep Away.” He opened the door, which had two deadbolts, a lock and a ball and chain on the front top and bottom of the door.
He escorted her inside the apartment which, when you walked in was a hallway, stinked of rotten food and had flies flying everywhere. “Welcome to my home,” He held out a hand as a gesture to kept moving forward.
Kimberly hesitated for a moment and then walked forward into the living room area. There was a flat screen on the left side of the room and a big black couch facing it. There was a stereo system next to the flat screen and a jukebox and record player in the left corner. To the right was the entrance to the kitchen with the essential and a nice glass table with black roses in the middle.
“Nice place,” Kimberly muttered under her breath.
“Come sit down in the living room and we can talk,” The man said. Finally he said enough words to get Kimberly to figure out what accent he was using. Of course it wasn’t English like she was using, it was an old British accent.
Kim followed the man and they sat on the big black couch facing towards each other.
“My name is Fred. Fred Orrick. I believe you are Kimberly Masonette. Am I right?” He asked.
“Yes, but what I want to know is why?” Kimberly asked.
“Well we vampires have thirsts you see and well, I like your blood the most,” Fred Orrick answered. “Oh, one thing I have to ask. What stage are you at?” He added.
“What do mean stage?” Kimberly asked.
“Well there are certain stages a mortal goes through in becoming a full vampire. Stage one is filled with pain when the fangs come in contact with mortal skin. Stage two is when you can’t go out in sunlight or else you’ll die. Stage three is when you grow your own fangs. The final stage is the most painful. Stage four is when you grow your claws and wings and your eyes become the color of your mood,” Fred Orrick explained.
“I’m on stag three, well I just got done with it,” Kim said showing her fangs.
“That’s not good. That means the final stage should be coming up,” Fred said.
Kimberly looked at Fred shocked.
“When?” Kim asked.
“Soon,” Fred said.
Then Kim fell to the floor in agonizing pain. Her nails were growing into sharp points and lumps were coming out of her back. It grew and grew until a leathery skin grew over the exposed bone and blood making the process complete. Her wings were pitch black and her eyes were blood shot, but a deep blue which meant in pain or sadness.
Kim had hung out with Fred for forever and they eventually got married. Unable to have a baby, Kim adopted and made them her own vampiric children in which she sent to school. She taught them to never bite a human unless they absolutely had to in which they would only suck them dry. They lived forever of course and no police had any suspicions. Of course this meant that Kimberly Masonette had gotten her dream. Her dream to become a vampire.
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 10:12 pm
It's good, but I get the sense that you wrote this down before the idea completely vanished because it goes a little too fast, especially at the end. You mean to tell me (or the reader) that right after Fred says "Soon," she goes into stage four? Even for an fantasy story, that's a tad unbelievable.
But this story draws people in and doesn't let go. That is pretty difficult for any story to do. Of course, there are spelling errors, but I'm a spelling/grammar nazi, so ignore that last bit.
Rating: 4/5
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