Let me turn up the brightness and contrast on this monitor so I can see it properly...okay.
All of your lines have the same thickness. It makes everything look flat and run together. Use thicker lines for things closer to the foreground, things in shadow, and things with "weight." Use thin lines for objects in the background, in strong light, and other "wispy" objects like hair.
Your tones have some white artifacts where they aren't quite going up to the lines. This can be caused by not getting right up to the line when toning, or it can happen during the resize if you have lots of layers. To prevent the problem when resizing your image, save the file with the layers and then merge / flatten it before resizing. Just make sure you DO NOT save over your layered file.
Also with the tones, all the gradients make everything run together too. Even in very dim / dank lighting (which is what I'm assuming you are going for) I think a cel-shaded tone method would look better. I can show you what I mean, if you'd give me permission to modify one of your panels.
What are you using for your lines? They're quite wobbly, so I'm guessing you're inking with a mouse. Working on a larger canvas and sizing down will help eliminate some wobbles, but it's mostly a matter of practice to get smooth strokes. Digital can be tricky, it will pick up any little tremor of the hand. Oh, looks like you're getting that problem fixed in later pages. Good!
Don't neglect your backgrounds!! I cannot emphasize this enough! If she's in a secret Nazi-era storeroom, there's probably all kinds of other cool stuff down there, right? And try to stay away from photos and so many filler BGs, they flatten things out. Use the pictures for reference, but don't paste them into the panel. They usually don't mesh that well with the foreground.
I know this has turned into a wall of text, but you're attempt is not a bad one, especially for your age. You finished it, and it is easy enough to follow. So long as you're putting your best effort into each page, you'll improve.
smile Resources for you--
www.blambot.com has free fonts made specifically for comics / webcomics. Digital Strip is my favorite, but try a few, I'm sure you'll find something better than what you're using now.
Understanding Comics and Making Comics by Scott McCloud. Great sources of information on the mechanics of comics, as opposed to drawing style. Check at you're library, but they are definitely worth buying.
Andrew Loomis project - google this from some free to download anatomy books.
Good luck with the Ebon Spire thing!
Reply
