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 Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 5:54 pm
Hello all. This is my very first post in this guild (yes, I know, I need to do introductions still). The poem is entitled Insanity Is and is (in my opinion) the first good poem that I've ever done. I did one called Sadness about a year ago, but it was both too depressing and not me, and has now disappeared somewhere in my room. Anyway. I posted Insanity Is in the new and improved Arena, in which it got rated eighteen times (one of them mine) and one comment. Not too successful.
Hope you enjoy.
Insanity Is
Insanity Is the comfort of a pillow, used for suffocation.
Insanity Is the warmth of a gun, used for a Death Shot.
Insanity Is the enabler,
The barrier breaker,
The undertaker.
Insanity Is a safety zone.
Insanity Is a shield.
Insanity Is a guard for all to take part in it,
All who brush with it,
All who dwell in it.
Insanity Is the abstract thoughts, the rotund ways.
Insanity Is the thought that you can do anything.
Insanity Is the fact that people can question, can insult, can pry,
And they never seem to affect you,
And they never will.
Insanity Is a soft room, padded with cushy walls.
Insanity Is a group of people, who try to figure out what's wrong.
Insanity Is not quite knowing what's going on,
Having that privilege,
Having that power.
Insanity Is engulfing, a single being in itself.
Insanity Is the process of losing yourself.
Insanity Is the way you go when you just seem to snap,
And you're lucky enough to see nothing,
Lucky that everything goes black.
I'd really appreciate some constructive criticism and just plain what you thought about it, good or bad.
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Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 6:40 pm
Very interesting poem I must say. I really loved the first stanza with just the last two lines rhyming. The barrier breaker, the undertaker. I think it would have been more effective though if you had really used that kind of distorted rhyming scheme more throughout the piece. You cold have really made the poem itself reflect what insanity is, add rhymes, mixed up words. Altogether less concrete than it is.
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Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 7:15 pm
True true true...hmmm...
I'll have to consider revising it in the future.
And I must say, the first stanza is my favorite too. =)
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 9:21 pm
Tres bien.
But the second stanza doesn't seem to fit. The first two lines seem like they should be the last two lines to follow the pattern.
Personally, the first stanza set the tone and the rest didn't live up the the initial impression. It's almost too good to start off with.
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Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 6:30 am
I think the content is very deeply thought out and raw, but the wording of some, especially the second stanza seems abbrasive and hard to read without re-reading. I love the details though, and every point said is very true. I love the idea in itself; very unique.
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