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Zero FxOxP

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 11:51 am


I know I'm new here but I need some help. I write poetry every now and then, whenever an idea strikes, and I need some overview of my ideas. I want to enter a Poetry Contest at school, but I don't know what to enter. My Poems are mainly free verse. I need someones' opinions.
PostPosted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 11:55 am


Here are a few of the Poems I want to enter:


Life the Game:


Life is a game
There are no shortcuts
Everyone has to play
Everyone has to finish whether they want to
Or not
Anyone who takes Shortcuts will leave
Their companions alone
Clueless to which direction they must go
Once their friend takes a shortcut they will have to
Fight even harder than before to make it
To the end
If one friend takes a shortcut their out come will be
Horrific
That person would miss all the miracles on the
Main Path
When they finish they might think
"Hooray! I made it!"
But then they will stop to wonder
"Was taking that shortcut worth all this?"
As the gaze into the emptiness beyond the
Finish Line
"Where is everyone? Where are my friends?"
They realize the dread they caused
Even though they escaped the world
Nothing is there to welcome them as they realize there is No life after death
Just an empty void
They now realize that if they stayed with their
Friends the void would not be empty
They realize this too late
As they take their final breath


Life is a Game
Don't take shortcuts  



Sanctuary:

There are many shelters yet to be discovered
Mine is one of them
Surrounded by darkness my Sanctuary is comforting
People run from the darkness
I accept it
If it wants you it will get you
The darkness protects me from persecution
It let's me hide and strike unsuspecting victims
The darkness IS my Sanctuary
Protecting me from the elements
I invite you to join me
Learn the meaning of Life
Accept the darkness
Don't run
In it you too shall find strength
In my Sanctuary I find strength
Let it Consume you as it did me
Then you to shall find the joy it has brought me
You too shall enjoy
My Sanctuary


Dream Wings:

I sit and wonder
What it be like to soar
To leave this world behind
To find my dream world
That place I go to every night
That place I want more than anything
Anything I want would be mine
That place where I can do what I want
If I want to be the Hero
I spread my wings and take up arms against real Evil
I take up arms against the enemies I write about
As I fight I get Stronger
As the Hero
I would sacrifice myself in place of others
And when My Side wins I will come back
And those I protected would cheer me
Applaud for me
Love me
Or I could be the Villain
Destroying my enemies out of Anger
Causing Chaos whenever I step
And since it is my dream
I can't be stopped
I would rule the Universe
But what fun would that be
Complete Ruler
Many Servants
No Friends
Hated
Just as I had Hated my enemies
Now that I think
I see
I will be the Hero
I will spread my Dream Wings
And soar into Happiness
In the place I dearly Love  



The End:

I fall to the ground
My flame extinguished
What happened to me?
Why am I so tired?
I don't want to move
I can't move
What happened?
I remember fighting
Fighting for my life
A guardian
My job
I fought to protect those around me
I fought for those I care about most
Now I lay here
Weak
My enemy stands over me
Laughing
"You thought you could protect them"
"I did protect them" I say
"Your wrong! You die for nothing!" he says
"I DID protect them" I say again
My body is suddenly engulfed in darkness
I hear my enemies laughter
It roars in my ear
"I have had ENOUGH!" I yell
My anger takes hold
I get stronger
Reaching through the darkness
I grasp the wretches arm
I pull him with me
This may be the end for me
He screams
But you're coming too
He kicks
He struggles
I just laugh
Laughing at his pain.
The pain he attempted to give my loved ones
You say I'm wrong, yet look who's struggling now
I grasp his throat
choking the life from him
My friends are safe
My mission fulfilled
As we fall into the void
I smile
I did my job
And now I've reached the end  



Changes:

I can feel it
My ideas stay the same
But my soul is clearing up
No longer is it dark and ominous
It can now feel the light
The warmth of the light
The light has melted it
My soul
It changes with the seasons
In Autumn and Winter
My soul is Colder
Much like the weather
In the Spring and Summer
I can feel the lights warmth
Though my Sanctuary is still darkness
The light seeps through
I see now how I can help others
Though I am still a loner
But I now feel the strength to confront problems
Not only my own, but other’s as well
My soul is changing
What about yours?
Does yours change?  


Guardian:

My mission is clear
I must protect
But I must destroy too
Do not hide
If you are my friend
You will never die
At least not on my watch
Some may not be so lucky
If you are my enemy
You WILL die
Fast and easy
That is
If you don’t hurt my companions
If you do
Then you will DIE
Only unlike the luxury of my enemies
You will die slowly
You will pray for death
But I won’t allow it
I am their guardian
I will fight to the end
I will fight for a friend

What is Home?:


What is Home?
Home is where someone is thinking about you
Home is where you run to when you are afraid
Home is where you are free

What is Home?
Home is where your loved ones are
Home is with friends
Home is a Sanctuary
You must protect it at all cost

How do I get home?
Follow your family
Follow your friends
Only both together will lead you home

Home
Home is where you can return to
Home is where someone is thinking about you






Blue Bird:

Blue Bird
Why do you cry?
As you fly high
In the sky?

Did you lose someone?
Someone special?
Don’t cry Blue Bird
No one has died
So why do you still cry?

Is it because of love?
Did you give it to them?
Did they return it unopened?
Do not cry Blue Bird
Do not cry

Instead you must fly
Fly into the sky
Into the blue, blue sky
Fly little Blue Bird
To that blue, blue sky

Zero FxOxP

Unforgiving Werewolf

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Eoforgar

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 12:22 pm


Good stuff.

I'd leave 'The End' and 'Guardian' out of your potential contest selection as their subject matter doesn't exactly have broad appeal (although if you have good social status they'd probably be fine, but I suspect they're more likely to draw mockery).

The last two 'What is Home?' & 'Blue Bird' didn't do much for me... not really provoking much thought or making me 'ooh&ahh' at the imagery.
You could perhaps 'spice up' 'What is Home?' by writing it from the perspective of someone to whom these things are alien & musing upon it a bit more...
PostPosted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 4:34 pm


I'd like to help out but I am not exactly a fan of poetry. I could point this thread out to some of our other members though... 3nodding

hypnocrown
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Zero FxOxP

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 8:49 am


That'd be great. I plan on putting some more on here.
PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 4:03 pm


Ok, let me think which members have a taste for poetry so I can send them the link to this thread via PM.

BTW, be sure to browse the rest of the guild, don't just post here or the guild owner might get upset, he-he. sweatdrop

hypnocrown
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Zero FxOxP

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2009 8:47 am


I understand. I actually ended up coming in first place in the poetry contest.
PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2009 1:41 pm


Cool.
Me not having a girlfriend means that I don't exactly have either the time nor the inspiration to write anything like that. Still, if I do try it I think I wouldn't stink at it.
Congrats on the first place!

hypnocrown
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