Welcome to Gaia! ::

Hey, technically I'm new but my friend wanted me to join this guild a while ago so I did (not to reck havoc or anything just to rp). So I was advised to put the "idea" of my profile on this page, sorry if I'm not suppose to I'll move it if I must. Anyways I was hoping to receive some constructive criticism about my profile. What can I improve, change, etc.? Also, I want to make sure my profile meets the guild's standards and hopefully be able to go beyond that. I don't want anything that can get me banned. Thanks!

Update March 15:
Updated with bankai, and removed all possible versions of godmod (hopefully). Bankai has been changed to blood based.

Name: Ryk Tomatsu [Ri-k Toe-mat-su]
((Literally means Guardian of the Empire))

Aliases/ Nicknames: Ryk

Age: 20

Rank:

Physical Description:


Zanpacutou:
Name: Kuro Tora (Black Tiger)
Sealed Appearance:

Shikai: Achieved
"Rain Blood"
Shikai Description: Ryk's zanpacutou blade turns blood red in alignment to it's ability. His shikai is based on blood control of himself, his allies, and his opponents (to an extent). He can control his own blood flow to give him an adrenaline boost or keep calm. Ryk's Abilities:
-Revert: Can heal external wounds, consuming a small amount of reiatsu. Revert does not return stamina or fatigue, nor does it heal internal wounds.
-Wound: This specific strike, would cause a wound inflicted by Ryk to heal much slower on its own. Kido's performed on the wound will still take effect and can completely heal the wound, but naturally the process would take three times as long to heal during combat. During this time, the blood would not clot and form to stop the bleeding as fast, resulting in more blood lost. Ryk can also use this blood for his own use, no matter who it is from.
-Speed: This gives Ryk an extra adrenaline rush, increasing speed, strength, and other senses. (Ryk does not get super human abilities.)
-Gather: If blood is present within a 5 meter radius of Ryk, he may convert the blood into a small portion of reiatsu. (3:1-Blood:Reiatsu ratio)
Shikai Appearance:


Bankai: Achieved
"Devour the enemy, Blitz"
Bankai Description: Ryk's bankai is not much different from his shikai, in terms of appearance. His zanpacutou blade is still red, but the hilt is different. The hilt turns white, and becomes detachable with a dagger hidden inside in order to be able to draw blood out of his body. Any part of his clothes that was once white now turns blood red, including his eyes. His speed is the major factor that increases during bankai, he becomes much faster for a more offensive position in combat.
Bankai Abilities:
-Force: Ryk can gather blood around himself and use it as an attack. This is meant to be a force attack, in which Ryk can control where the blood flows and how it is shaped. (Spear, ram, bullets, etc.-like)
-Twist: This ability allows Ryk to create a small tornado of blood around him, creating a temporary shield. The durability pends on the opponents skill level.
-Roar: Ryk summon a large (Liger-sized) White Tiger. Like all animals, it uses it's natural instinct to attack and defend itself. The tiger has exceptional speed and strength. It is extremely obedient to Ryk only, since it is part of his zanpacutou.
Bankai Appearance:


Personalities: Ryk is a well laid-back guy, who always liked to take life easy when he was alive. He has always had a blood-thirsty look in his eyes. Ryk is not afraid to get involved into other people's affairs, and sometimes goes overboard with his authorities. However, he knows when to fight and when to stop, Ryk is not a complete idiot.

Accessories: Ryk wheres a light-weight armored glove on his left hand. He also wears his father's dog tags, from the War in Iraq, around his neck all the time.

Biography: One day Ryk and some of his friends went out to the mall just for the sake of ditching school that day. Most of the day was going well, they went shopping, watched a few movies, and had lunch at the food court.Ryk was a pretty well known figure around the area, and had just recently left an organization which sought to bring him back. These gang members were able to track down Ryk and took some of his friends hostages to lure him away to a secluded area. Ryk agreed, his friends were let go and he went to see the 'master' of the organization. After a long series of negotiations and arguments, the two broke out in a fight, essentially for power of the organization. Ryk, in turn, won the fight, killing the leader with his own fists. However, everything changed from then, the others each pulled out pistols and fired several shots into Ryk. The worst part was he did not die either. He was left, agonizing in his own blood, gasping for air, trying to scream from the searing pain. His friends found him, but it was too late. As they rushed in and checked on him, Ryk's body laid motionless in the blood. The room fell silent, the tear drops could be heard hitting the floor.

Thanx for the advice Ky and Sig.
The healing simply stops bleeding, it does not mend a wound completely (ie stab in the heart I still die.) It does not halt internal damage, but slows it down. But it will stop external bleeding (mini heal). As I understand Squad 4 can do advanced healing, so this move is just simple healing (and only for me).

My intentions of "control" was similar that I could control their body, but my body would seem dead, and if either body would die I would die as well. But I do see how it is a godmod so I will try to alter it, if not remove it completely. So in this way I could not kill them unless I was willing to die myself. It is more I could take over and use some of their abilities. But still your points are made.

Laggard seemed to be a more technique that I wouldn't use in combat (althought I could see why it is godmod as well), but something more that I can use for training later on when I become more well rounded and higher ranked.

I know a blood based zanpacutou is tricky to formulate, because many things about it could be seen as obvious godmod. But how I see it, if I can overcome the more difficult tasks, it is just one extra step of proving myself.

Perhaps if I reversed the Laggard effect it could work? So rather than having it slow down my enemies blood, it could give me an extra adrenaline boost? Or could that still be considered godmodding?

So I will go ahead and change around my bankai and remove the twin blade idea. Fix up my shikai.

Other ideas:
-I can take blood that has been left on the feild and convert it into reiatsu at a reasonable amount. (Not only drop of blood restores it completely but maybe a pool of blood could keep me going for a little longer if I am nearly exhausted.)
-If you do not mind, Ky, I would ask if I could keep that thought in mind about a wound that will not normally heal (alter into a wound that heals much slower than normal. Rate: 3 times slower maybe?)


((Also, sorry for posting in the main thread, but I read to make a profile there and I believe I simply misunderstood what they ment. I apologize for the hassle.))

I fixed it up, it includes a blood-based bankai (single blade too). I did not realize how careless I was with the profile, I thought I limited more. I apologize for that, but I believe I have ratted out all of the godmod in the profile. If there is anything that still symbolizes godmod, please point it out.