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 Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 8:40 am
Recently I've developed feelings for two young women, one i went out with for about 5 days and was in love with back in december 2004, and the other is older than me and lives in another state. Well the girl who i went out with hated me for awhile, i cheated on her before we went out but while we liked eachother, and just recently we became "friends" and i redeveloped those feelings for her. Well i asked one of the guys that hangs around her if she had a BF and he checked for me and told me that she has a GF. This killed me and this happened on friday when i couldnt talk to yall because TAKS, texas academic assessment of knowledge and skills, was being held in the library, where i get on the comp. Then the other girl i liked for awhile, but then out of no where she says that she has a bf and she has just been flirting with me for fun well this killed me too. I just dont know what to do, i know that the girl out of state is unreachable but the one here that is a lesbian, or she would probably say bi, i still love her but i dont know if i should just dive into my studies shut out the world and just say f the world, or should i pursue this girl that is near me? please yall help me figure it out.
note-the girl that is out of state, i believe you know who you are, if you want to you can say something about who you are, this is mainly about the other girl.
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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 9:38 am
First and foremost, are you 16? Because if not, that should solve your problem right there.
Even if you are 16, if the other girl is out of state and doesn't like you, there isn't much hope there. As for the girl who lives near you, she, from what you said, doesn't sound like she is living the high standards that we have. If she doesn't help you live your standards, then chances are she will help you break them.
I say find someone with your standards who lives near you, they don't even have to be a member, just someone who is at least willing to support you and help you keep your standards.
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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 10:39 am
i've always hated that 16 year old thing....i think its pointless...but oh well
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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 10:53 am
i know that im not 16 and i understand why the church set forth those standards, but i truly do love this girl, and me and her have broken church standards before. i want to know why she is going out with this girl, but i dont wanna ask her. plus she is the only girl in this area that i even remotely like. i dont like the girls that are in the young womens program here,not even as friends, save one.
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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 11:54 am
Yeah, the 16 rule has bothered me at times to. I am also under 16, however when it comes down to it, it's will you or will you not listen to our prophet?
Besides, if she has already encouraged you to break standards, then maybe friends is a good idea for now. Do you really "need" a girlfriend? Can you survive with out one? If nothing else, for your future children. To set a good example for them.
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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 12:04 pm
Sakerra Yeah, the 16 rule has bothered me at times to. I am also under 16, however when it comes down to it, it's will you or will you not listen to our prophet? Besides, if she has already encouraged you to break standards, then maybe friends is a good idea for now. 1. Do you really "need" a girlfriend? 2. Can you survive with out one? If nothing else, for your future children. To set a good example for them. 1. no 2. yes you are way too young to "be in love." i know that sounds harsh, OG, but take it from someone who has been there and done that. there were times in high school when i thought i was "in love" with my best friend Jeff, but in all reality, it was just a crush. that said, what Sakerra said at first is completely true. the prophets have instructed us not to date until we are 16, and there's a reason for that. it's not just "because the prophet said so," it's because the Lord said so. i have heard horror stories of kids getting too serious too early and doing things that have cost them their virtue, their integrity, and every last bit of their spare time. my cousin was one of those who thought she was fine. well, she's had two kids outside of marriage, both from separate fathers, and she's not active in the church anymore and has no desire to be. this same cousin has let herself sink so low as to steal a whole messenger bag full of my stuff, including ALL of my CDs and some things that were precious to me, expensive, and not easily replaced. some cannot be replaced at all. and all because she started making decisions at your 14-15 year old age that were against the standards the youth of this church should be upholding.
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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 1:35 pm
Sakerra Yeah, the 16 rule has bothered me at times to. I am also under 16, however when it comes down to it, it's will you or will you not listen to our prophet? Besides, if she has already encouraged you to break standards, then maybe friends is a good idea for now. Do you really "need" a girlfriend? Can you survive with out one? If nothing else, for your future children. To set a good example for them. i dont want a gf i just want someone, one of my good friends, a 56 yr old man, told me that i was priviledged not to have friends, because i was being spared temptation and not having to face things that "normal" teens have to. i once said "if i had to smoke crack to have friends i'd do it" i wasnt being literal but that is how badly i want friends that i can touch.
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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 2:28 pm
Well, (IMO) there is a huge difference between gf and friend. I see no reason why you shouldn't pursue a friendship with the girl who live close to you. As long as it stays at that, there is absolutely no reason why not.
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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 2:34 pm
here's some good sound advice: have PATIENCE.
it can be truly difficult and trying to do so, but it'll be worth the wait... TRUST ME. i would know. there are a lot of guys i've wanted to go out with and had HUGE crushes on..now, the one thinks i'm going to hell (he's baptist) and the guy i had the biggest/longest crush on is a child molester, and the last major one turned out to laugh at the concept of "God". he's an "Objectivist". (go look it up for a laugh)
right now i can tell that God hasn't put "the one" into your life yet. you'll KNOW when He does. but i PROMISE you He hasn't yet.
also, out of my curiosity, how big is your school/ward/town? i know if i dated within my school or town i would never find anyone. EVER. my man is 30 miles away.
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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 3:26 pm
Why not just hang out with friends, focus on school and all that. Don't worry about relationships. If you don't have one, who cares. Some are lucky to have someone close, others aren't. Its just a matter of time and obviously, it isn't the time for you to have someone. Just keep yourself busy and forget about them
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ConcreteAngel Vice Captain
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ConcreteAngel Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 3:34 pm
drgnladyblue Sakerra Yeah, the 16 rule has bothered me at times to. I am also under 16, however when it comes down to it, it's will you or will you not listen to our prophet? Besides, if she has already encouraged you to break standards, then maybe friends is a good idea for now. 1. Do you really "need" a girlfriend? 2. Can you survive with out one? If nothing else, for your future children. To set a good example for them. 1. no 2. yes you are way too young to "be in love." i know that sounds harsh, OG, but take it from someone who has been there and done that. there were times in high school when i thought i was "in love" with my best friend Jeff, but in all reality, it was just a crush. that said, what Sakerra said at first is completely true. the prophets have instructed us not to date until we are 16, and there's a reason for that. it's not just "because the prophet said so," it's because the Lord said so. i have heard horror stories of kids getting too serious too early and doing things that have cost them their virtue, their integrity, and every last bit of their spare time. my cousin was one of those who thought she was fine. well, she's had two kids outside of marriage, both from separate fathers, and she's not active in the church anymore and has no desire to be. this same cousin has let herself sink so low as to steal a whole messenger bag full of my stuff, including ALL of my CDs and some things that were precious to me, expensive, and not easily replaced. some cannot be replaced at all. and all because she started making decisions at your 14-15 year old age that were against the standards the youth of this church should be upholding. sorry, I just have to put my comment. First, its possible to find the one you are meant for in your teenage years, rare but possible. Second, it drives me nuts when people try to tell other how they feel. True, most of the time they aren't really in love so much as they think but it doesn't mean that we know how they feel. Lastly, there are a lot of feelings that are very very close to love. But once you've felt real love, you know the difference. Sometimes you find someone who makes you feel different from just crushes but it still isn't always love. When it is, you know it. there is no doubt and its not easily forgotten. Wait for that feeling, pray about it and know the answer. Listen to the spirit and not your head and heart for a while until you know that they are the one. (not saying following your heart isn't important but some people care strongly about others but aren't meant to be together) Anyway, I hope I made sense. Good luck and I hoope you make the right choice OG
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Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 9:00 am
ConcreteAngel Why not just hang out with friends, focus on school and all that. Don't worry about relationships. If you don't have one, who cares. Some are lucky to have someone close, others aren't. Its just a matter of time and obviously, it isn't the time for you to have someone. Just keep yourself busy and forget about them one big problem with that, i dont have friends that associate with me anywhere not school or church and barely ever in church and school.
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Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 9:04 am
LDSeraphim here's some good sound advice: have PATIENCE. it can be truly difficult and trying to do so, but it'll be worth the wait... TRUST ME. i would know. there are a lot of guys i've wanted to go out with and had HUGE crushes on..now, the one thinks i'm going to hell (he's baptist) and the guy i had the biggest/longest crush on is a child molester, and the last major one turned out to laugh at the concept of "God". he's an "Objectivist". (go look it up for a laugh) right now i can tell that God hasn't put "the one" into your life yet. you'll KNOW when He does. but i PROMISE you He hasn't yet. also, out of my curiosity, how big is your school/ward/town? i know if i dated within my school or town i would never find anyone. EVER. my man is 30 miles away. my town is very small and my ward only has like 100 people i mean really i hate living here, i think if i move somewhere like a big city, maybe utah, i would be surrounded by lots of people and possibly be included in activities and have friends outside of the church walls. A problem with that is that im very anti-social, i barely ever invite people places but if someone where to call me up and ask me to go to a movie with them i would surely say yes. The one true friend i have is a 56 yr old man who isnt a memeber of the church but is my very strong christian brother, lol his 13 yr old daughter has a crush on me and i hope when i turn 16 he lets us go out on dates.
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Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 10:10 am
The_Opera_Ghost LDSeraphim here's some good sound advice: have PATIENCE. it can be truly difficult and trying to do so, but it'll be worth the wait... TRUST ME. i would know. there are a lot of guys i've wanted to go out with and had HUGE crushes on..now, the one thinks i'm going to hell (he's baptist) and the guy i had the biggest/longest crush on is a child molester, and the last major one turned out to laugh at the concept of "God". he's an "Objectivist". (go look it up for a laugh) right now i can tell that God hasn't put "the one" into your life yet. you'll KNOW when He does. but i PROMISE you He hasn't yet. also, out of my curiosity, how big is your school/ward/town? i know if i dated within my school or town i would never find anyone. EVER. my man is 30 miles away. my town is very small and my ward only has like 100 people i mean really i hate living here, i think if i move somewhere like a big city, maybe utah, i would be surrounded by lots of people and possibly be included in activities and have friends outside of the church walls. A problem with that is that im very anti-social, i barely ever invite people places but if someone where to call me up and ask me to go to a movie with them i would surely say yes. The one true friend i have is a 56 yr old man who isnt a memeber of the church but is my very strong christian brother, lol his 13 yr old daughter has a crush on me and i hope when i turn 16 he lets us go out on dates. cha-CHING! there's your problem. same here for me too. my town only has 100 families, my church is even smaller...i hate it. that's why, yes, wait until you get out of there to start looking ...honestly...we wouldn't more inbreeding would we? wink
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Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 11:00 am
LDSeraphim The_Opera_Ghost LDSeraphim here's some good sound advice: have PATIENCE. it can be truly difficult and trying to do so, but it'll be worth the wait... TRUST ME. i would know. there are a lot of guys i've wanted to go out with and had HUGE crushes on..now, the one thinks i'm going to hell (he's baptist) and the guy i had the biggest/longest crush on is a child molester, and the last major one turned out to laugh at the concept of "God". he's an "Objectivist". (go look it up for a laugh) right now i can tell that God hasn't put "the one" into your life yet. you'll KNOW when He does. but i PROMISE you He hasn't yet. also, out of my curiosity, how big is your school/ward/town? i know if i dated within my school or town i would never find anyone. EVER. my man is 30 miles away. my town is very small and my ward only has like 100 people i mean really i hate living here, i think if i move somewhere like a big city, maybe utah, i would be surrounded by lots of people and possibly be included in activities and have friends outside of the church walls. A problem with that is that im very anti-social, i barely ever invite people places but if someone where to call me up and ask me to go to a movie with them i would surely say yes. The one true friend i have is a 56 yr old man who isnt a memeber of the church but is my very strong christian brother, lol his 13 yr old daughter has a crush on me and i hope when i turn 16 he lets us go out on dates. cha-CHING! there's your problem. same here for me too. my town only has 100 families, my church is even smaller...i hate it. that's why, yes, wait until you get out of there to start looking ...honestly...we wouldn't more inbreeding would we? wink i dont think you understand the word "inbreeding" i might be wrong but i thought that a child born of incestuous parents, or parents who have the same mother and father.
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