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Lost:

Painful is this venomous bite I feel, miserable bite of the black widow spider,
I close my eyes, and watch from here as the portal to your soul closes even wider,
From the depths of your mental torture I surface, and reach out to grab your hand,
It seems as if your own shadow laps at your feet, breaking like waves upon the sand,

You look around, and although no one is there, you know in your heart you're not alone,
My path looks dark and evil, but I will perservere, for I have reaped what I have sewn,
Light is overcome by darkness, some say rain itself comes from angels in the form of tears,
Ever since you left, it seems that seconds turn into minutes, minutes into days, days into years,

With feelings of abandonement, I fade away within a whisper, the sun never again to rise,
If only you knew what endless pain I endure, if you could see the world through an angel's eyes,
Your life would be changed forever, your heart ripped apart, and maybe then you'd understand,
Why the largest waves may often choose their fate to crash down upon the shores of a forgotten land,

From the sea I have cried out of love, I hear the voices call to me, for I am doomed,
The music draws me closer as I listen, my fate is sealed forever, I am entombed,
So easily does the hunter become hunted, it seems that the tables may have turned,
The pain pours down upon my heart, stinging like needles as my soul is burned,

Since your morbid death I have heard the echoes of your soul calling me across time,
Should ever my dark soul find the shadow that once was you, should my heart follow the rhyme,
Beyond the shallow emptiness that once was your heart, I hear your soul's final screams,
Through the vast forest that creates illusions so complex that reality is distorted, it seems,

Past the winding rivers that overflow with tears, overtaking the land, as they escape and intertwine,
Across the dark void which separates one from one, from two, and keeps from me any vital sign,
Maybe you are alright, but perhaps that can't be true, because your impure soul couldn't pay the final cost,
Within these miserable dreams and broken promises I disappear, for I am lost.

(Note: I have decided to do the oldest ones first... I wrote this when I was 13.)

Mom:

For you and I, how differently you make the rules,
As I say these words, my tears collect in darkened pools,
I sit here hoping you can't hear me in my own mind,
Anyone could see how pathetic you are, no matter how blind,
When you hear this, you may wonder if I'm talking about you,
If you weren't so blind yourself, maybe there would be something you could do,

This wall you have created surrounds me, and now it's closing in,
I know your cruel ways will never change, but I still won't let you win,
I wish things didn't have to be like this, injustice in so many ways,
Everything wasn't always this way, as terrible as things are these days,
It's too bad my own mother can't open her own piercing eyes and see,
I tried to stop it, but one day these words just came lashing out at me,

From the depths of my broken soul, directly to you these words outpour,
Mommy, I don't want things to be the way they are anymore!

Ghost Rainbow:

Writing through days of broken hearts,
I disappear within my own little world,
This is my heaven,
And no, you cannot have it,

Fighting on bended knee to save this, our last kingdom,
Through fields of broken hearts,
And skies so filled with wishes,
We find ourselves arriving at once choice anyway,

It's all that was ever really there,
All day I stare at a black and white page,
And with only words, paint a picture so lovely,
All they see is black and white,

But somewhere in there,
Is my rainbow...

Tell Me:

They say that if you love someone enough you'll let them go,
And if they return to you, then they're yours, and you know,
That they will remain to you completely loyal and true,
They will stay by your side forever, they will never leave you,

Tell me, what happened to the person inside who was so kind?
To the same person that I have worked so hard to find?
In my heart, I know that I should've treated you much better,
But I also know that you didn't lie to me in every single letter,

Please tell me you'll take back all those cruel things you said,
That constantly torture my dark soul, with all feelings now dead,
The only thing left to heal my injured heart is time,
Now the only way I have to hold onto you is in this sacred rhyme,

Deep down I know you can't refuse that in your heart I still survive,
Though to me your heart is dead, our memories will always be alive,
The deep pain that I have felt I would never wish on anyone,
For all of their life before them would then be undone,

In truth you deserve to be helpless, alone, and afraid, as I was,
I try to pretend it doesn't hurt anymore, but you know it still does,
It seems so ironic how I would give my life for just one person,
Yet they would be so stubborn to cause my misery to worsen,

Sometimes I feel like a ghost, doomed to walk the earth for eternity,
Tell me how to break this spell, how to make those neverending eyes see,
Every time I try not to go back, I find a part of you is with me still,
I only hope you know my love is not something you can easily kill,

To keep you, I would have given not only my life, but my world,
And I've tried my best to get you back, as all my pride itself unfurled,
Yet if ever I were given that one golden chance to go back,
If I were given back the very love of which I now lack,

I am certain that I would do things exactly as they were first done,
Because it is better to have that sacred little time then to have none,
So tell me... Please, just tell me...
And give me eyes with which to see...

Illusion:

It is in the midst of this turmoil that I give in to the poison, the cold,
I have tried at my bitterest moments to reach out, and grab hold,
To squeeze the very life from that ever-escaping warmth, breathe no more,
For what purpose is there in living when there is nothing to live for?

And so it was that I won you only to lose, with all this done in vain,
I now give in to my solitude, only for the fear of that mortal pain,
It was not until now that I realize the morbid lesson that life tries to teach,
Falling into this pit of dark redemption, it all slips slowly out of reach,

I throw myself upon the mercy of my only enemy, and ask you not to blame him,
Although the curse he has placed upon my soul his poisoned heart will condemn,
As I walk through this pit of dead ashes, all hope for this world falls silent,
With all the burden of mortal sins thus done, your pure soul turns violent,

My emotions gain on my abused heart, as before him I throw myself down,
I find myself wihin a sea of misery, the sea in which I now drown,
My very sea of misery I find he holds within his accusing emerald eyes,
These memories haunt me, and now cast shadows upon the flame that dies,

Of course this twisted distortion of reality makes sense, for it is he you are to blame,
As I wander throughout this path of bleeding corpses, all sins I must disclaim,
From my uprising, it is but sick humor to mention a faded word of how I fell,
It is the very way that I depart, tearing out your very soul, that will condemn you to hell,

With my sadistic view, I calm myself and slither away into this illusion,
Drowning in your liquid hate, I swim upwards toward the surface of confusion,
From this sacred place of darkness, I scream at him with deafening silence,
So from my own enemy do I crave even teh most simplistic act of violence,

From the depths of his distorted world, even he is aware of the pain that I seek,
His hatred is powerful, and I know that it will soon destroy me, for I am weak,
The evil of his hidden power, his black voodoo, will soon take upon me it's hold,
He offers me ice in exchange for revenge, and I fear it will soon turn cold,

I've remained here for so long, that into the abyss my reality is hurled,
Yet here I remain by choice, and prefer to be abandoned than to live in such a world,
In this sacred place where all others drown, I flourish, for I alone know how to swim,
And it is here that I choose to end my story, ever still I ask you not to blame him.

Don't Ask Why:

I really have to ask you why you left me in the dark,
The scar you left upon my soul is now a permanent mark,

I often ask myself why I have to live and die, every day,
Why did you leave me all alone? You just had to go away,

When I was almost over you, I found it only was a lie,
Sometimes I find it's better not to question why,

It's true we've had our share of pain and misery,
But you can't deny the truth that hides in memory,

The way things have turned out, if only I had known,
It never has been meant to spend one's life alone,

I used to think you were wonderful, can't hide the way I feel,
Without you in my life, this somehow seems surreal,

Deep inside your mind, there should never be a doubt,
That you're the only one I cannot live without,

When I was with you, in my heart I felt so warm,
Now love can only come to me in a different form,

I promise I'll never question why you left me here,
As long as you promise not to shed another tear,

You know I once loved you, how quickly things have changed,
Deep down in my soul, I feel my heart's been rearranged,

You just have your own way of tearing me apart,
In truth I'd rather die, than have you absent from my heart,

If only it were possible to take back words once spoken,
Everything that you've ever touched has been broken,

Never again shall it be my cold heart that you touch,
As never will I allow for myself to love another as much,

As I have loved you, I know I must suffer still longer,
But I must thank you for making me that much stronger.

(One of my personal favorites! heart )

Cold Fury:

Haunted eyes stare out into an empty abyss;
like roses on a window sill,

In the crazy light I disappear, stealing your poison kiss;
like the roses I've picked to kill,

I run past this curse, break like the cold wind;
smile, it's not for you,

Your empty heart is gone now, I've no more karma to lend;
smile, I'm crazy too,

Walk alone in an empty room and you may see this ghost;
the image of a girl, a child;

Even though you never deserved it, I've given you my most;
the image of an idea, gone wild;

The fight was a long one, the soldiers were brave;
with the flair of a vixen gone mad,

A small part of me will follow you to your grave;
with the flair of psychic energy, gone bad,

Does the daisy dare to flee from the petals haunting it?
like a mirage, it is suddenly gone,

Will light always overcome darkness, so that all should stay lit?
like always, toward you I am drawn,

You are my one and only maddeningly true and honest lover;
Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust,

My soul flies up and seems to float, around your aura it will hover;
Ashes to ashes, this is more than lust...