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 Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 4:38 pm
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 4:54 pm
So this guy goes to the doctor and the doctor walks in the exam room and say's I'm sorry to tell you that you have aids... I'm going to prescribe you Prunes and extra hot sauce... The guy ask's "Will that cure my Aids?" The doctor say's "No but it will show you what your a** hole is for."
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 4:56 pm
What do you call nuts on your chest?
Chest Nuts.
Whats do you call Nuts on the wall?
Wall Nuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin?
d**k in your mouth.
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 9:40 pm
Girls night out
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 9:43 pm
Jesus and the Robber
One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" while he rumagged through the desk.
He replied, "Who said that?!"
Once again he heard the same thing, "Jesus is watching you!"
The robber looked around the room only to see a parrot. He asked the parrot what its name was. The parrot replied, "Cornelius."
The robber said, "What kind of a name is that?! Who names a parrot that?!"
The parrot said, "The same person who named that rottweiler behind you Jesus!"
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 9:48 pm
I penguin is driving threw the desert in his convertable and his car breaks down so he pushes it to the nearest mechanic.
The macanic says "You should go get some ice cream I'll have it done when you get back."
The penguin walks to the ice cream parlor
and when he was gone the mechanic found out that he blew a seal in his engine so the penguin comes back and the mechanic says it looks like you blew a seal.
And the penguin says "NO! NO! Thats just icecream"
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 9:54 pm
XD OMG that is awesome
Two Cannibals
Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path.
Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Ooh dad, there's one." "No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait."
Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough." "No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait."
About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman.
The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her."
"No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either."
"Why not?" asked the son.
"Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 9:56 pm
This guy thought he was giving a girl a amazing orgasm cause she was screaming really loud...
And then she screamed "stop pulling my ******** hair!"
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Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 9:02 pm
Only three doors
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
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Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 2:52 pm
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
LAUGH AT MY COMIC GENIUS!
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Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 8:58 pm
Dead p***y
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead p***y.
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.
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Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:34 pm
What do you call it when a girl gets her appendix taken out appendectomy
What do you call it when a girl gets her uterus taken out? historectamy
What do you call it when a girl gets a sex change. Addadicktome
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Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:41 pm
What do you call a gay dinosaur Major-sore-a**
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