Feeling the soft earth beneath her paws, the goddess felt mixed emotions when she gazed upon the lands that had temporarily been her home. Much healtheir than they had been when she left, it forced a smile on her worried face. The land was flourishing, almost as like a reflection of herself. It reminded her that everything out be better, even if it took many, many moons. Everything would return to normal.
Mo'onasi wasn't sure what brought her back to these lands, but she wouldn't question it. She hadn't seen anyone since her children had grown old enough to take care of themselves; indeed, she only hoped that she hadn't been forgotten.
Her striped form slipped into the pride's lands, her wings folded tightly against her back. While she had first come here she hid herself in shame, she knew better than to do that. There were many within the pride that knew of her to be a goddess, and she wouldn't raise questions with hiding her wings.
"It's beautiful," she commented to herself as she let her paws guide her down the paths that were semi-familiar. A little more overgrown here, a little more used here. It almost felt like she hadn't left.
Although it might have felt to the goddess as if she hadn't left, she had indeed, and in that time span of her absense, many many things had changed. Not only had she left, but so too had some of the pride's most reknown members. Among those was the god of deception, who followed his mate's absence. It left a whole in the pride, a whole in his family, and a whole in many hearts.
Among those was Zuri, who, despite being a bit of a trouble-maker at times, was her father's daughter through and through. It never occurred to her that she would get so emotional, that things would go so terribly wrong that she felt as if her heart might break clean in two. Her mother was gone first, and then her father, and there was only a very finy thread to hold their family together. She felt like her world was rocky, crumbling beneath her paws.
She sat alone, in a patch of young grass, earth still easily seen between the fresh blades. Some places were like this in the lands, some were more prosperous already. She barely noticed, though, even as she stared down at her paws. What would she do? It was the flutter of wings that caught her attention, the overly loud sound that would never belong to any avian. Her eyes snapped up, around, to land on the goddess. She didn't hope for a second it was her father, no, but neither has she expected who she saw. For a moment, no name came for the face that she could barely remember, she'd been gone since Zuri was so small.
"Momo?" came the faultering voice, eyes narrowing.
The small goddess' ears perked up, curious on the voice. It didn't sound quite familiar, but then whoever it was knew her name. Her gold-olive eyes finally located the lioness, looking comfortable, if only in body. The purple eyes struck her for a moment, and then recognition. First, for Ush, who's colours were blatent on the lioness. And then the patterning. Kizuka.
Thankfully that was not the name that came out. Filtering through the names of the litter that the lioness had was not easy, but finally a name came forth. "Zuri!" The name that had fit her well.
"I...wow! I wasn't expecting to see anyone so soon! How are you?" Momo hadn't quite noticed the tone in Zuri's voice, but by the way she had been reclining in the thin growing grass she laid on. Something was amiss, Momo thought, with her tail swishing behind her.
A light smile did tug at the corner of her maw as an answering name met her, a recognition of sorts. She hadn't known if Momo would remember the whole gaggle of her friends' large litter, but apparently she did. It was nice to know there was someone out there other than her siblings that still connected her to her father and mother, as heartbreaking a thought as that was.
"I've been better," she answered honestly, probably one of the few times in her life. With her father absent, his namesake was lost in her for the time, and the lies and tricks she usually poured fourth in a split second were simply missing. She didn't have the heart for her games, and why should she? Besides, that wasn't a question one would answer with a lie anyway, not now.
"I don't suppose you know yet?" Her voice was soft, an attempt to keep the emotion out of it no doubt, as she had never particularly liked being a highly emotional sort. Too loud, and she knew her voice would crack with all the sorrow she felt, and that just seemed shameful. Still, her head tilted, deep indigo eyes watching as the goddess drew closer.
"Know?" She could almost feel the emotions in Zuri's voice, and so the goddess rushed forward to curl on the ground before the lioness. Folding her wings tight, she let her head linger closer to the ground, looking up at the multi-coloured lioness.
"I knew that there was something...off with your mother before I left. My kids grew into such a handful that I left without really saying anything..." her voice hushed at the end, feeling embarassed by that fact. They had grown too restless, and she worried for the saftey of her extended family. The children were just coming to their powers, and she would rather break hearts then break anything more lasting. Her time to apologize was now.
"I feel terrible for deserting like that, I do. I feel like it wasn't the right choice now, as I look upon you." Zuri looked quite different than how she remembered the spunky child so long ago. At least, in the lioness' eyes. To the goddess, it had only been a shorter moment, as time passed differently for her.
Zuri listened to the goddess, hearing her words, though she watched her in more or less complete silence as she spoke. Zuri didn't blame her, her of all the people here, and how could she? Momo was a part of their family, sure, but she had tougher things to handle than just a family of mortals, no matter how much of a handful such a large litter could be.
"I don't blame you, not for anything, and I'm sure none of us do either. If something was wrong with mother, then it wasn't up to you to fix it, she should have.. she should have told father." She frowned at that though, her tail twitching lightly. Zuri still didn't believe her mother had just left, she couldn't. All of her still though that her mother had simply gotten unlucky out hunting, that something had happened. Her mother loved her family too much.
"Whatever was wrong, whatever it was though, she left and she hasn't come back, Momo," she said, slowly and cautiously, to keep her voice from cracking, her eyes dropping to the ground. Then, after a moment's pause, she let out a deep breath, followed by more words, ones that almost wanted to choke the life out of her. "And dad, dad.. died. Is 'died' the right term for what happens to you?" She frowned, her brows furrowing as she looked up at Momo quesitoningly.
The sorrow that enveloped her was almost too much? Kizuka, gone? The goddess had always loved mortals, but Kizuka had been more than that. She had saved the goddess from nearly loosing herself into insanity. Who knew what would have happened if she hadn't been found by the sweet lioness. Momo shuddered to even think about it.
She blankly stared at the ground as her mind processed through the shock. It wouldn't do any good now if she herself broke down. So she merely let a small wall build around her heart to keep herself strong. Grieving would come after more knowledge.
"Zuri....I don't...know what to say," she said quietly. Her next words were slightly rushed, everything coming out quickly. "We don't die, really. It's like we start over as children. Sometimes we remember our past lives....and sometimes we don't."
She fell completely silent then, letting her eyes wander away from Zuri's. She didn't know how she would feel if her eyes sunk into the deep violet ones. Probably guilt, even if none of it was her fault. Momo always felt the sadness of others weigh on her, as she only strove to create joy in the lives of those she loved.
"I've heard that there are times where events can trigger old memories....but." She couldn't continue. What were the chances? They didn't even know where he was anymore, either.
Zuri could see the way the news affected the lioness, she didn't have to guess. Even if Momo wasn't really blood related to them, she had been close. Zuri honestly believed that gods could be close to mortals because, after all, it was her father's love for their mother that had sent him to his death, wasn't it? Even if Momo only felt one tenth of that love for her family, she knew she cared deeply for them. She was too young to remember when she left, too young to remember them all together, but she knew just from the way they spoke of her.
"That's what Aliona said," she nodded at Momo's words, sighing gently and looking up at the sky. Her brows were furrowed still, her eyes averted, not wishing to find whatever emotion lurked in Momo's. "We found a cub, after dad died, who looks like he could be an uncle or something. He doesn't know us, not really, but Aliona said it was dad."
She laughed, in a sad kind of way, shutting her eyes at the thought. "I don't think I'd want this little cub to recall memories of our family, not like this. Dad let himself go to forget, so he wouldn't have to feel the pain anymore. The cub is happy, and if it's dad's soul in him, then I guess that's good in a way." She opened her eyes, looking back up at the sky again, "but it doesn't make it hurt any less for me."
Her ear flicked, curious at this development. So he was here? That was different than what had happened to her...the little that she remembered. Everything before she awoke was nothing but haze, if it even existed.
"So his reincarnated self is here," she said quietly, examining her paw as if she was examining the situation. "That's really interesting." She shifted a bit uncomfortably, but knew that it might bring tiny comfort. "When I awoke from a sleep I barely remember, I was in the god's realm. I'm surprised that he was found here. Whether he knows it or not, there must be a part of him that wants to stay here with you and your sibilings."
Her tail twitched as she glanced up at the lioness, even if her eyes were elsewhere. "Pain lingeres. I feel it myself, and my children are probably nearly grown at this point." Her voice fell. "I'd have been lost without your mother. Wherever she is, I hope she is happily watching over you, Zuri."
Her eyes fell from where she was studying the sky, glancing at the lioness instead, though she was still careful to avoid direct contact with her eyes. "Really?" She had no idea about the god realm, what it was, or any of that. She and her siblings could only speculate on anything that was happening. "I had no idea about that. I suppose he did want to be here, although it's no surprise. We're here, and he's lived here for a long time, at least by mortal standards" She frowned, realizing at this point that she was close to simply rambling. She supposed it was just because she was so uncomfortable with this 'sharing feelings' thing.
For a long moment, she simply stared at her paws, letting the words wash over her. Why did this have to be so painful and awkward? Zuri had never, ever liked this sort of thing. "I hope she is too," she finally admitted, quiet and under her breath, but she knew it was the truth. Her mother was somewhere, she knew that, no matter what, and she would never have abandoned them without a reason.
"You should go see Aliona, while you're here," she lifted her head up, to look at Momo again. "She's raising the little Ush, she could probably use some.. tips." The idea was still strange, the name still foreign on her tongue, but she did manage a strange sort of smile.
During the long moment of awkward silence, Momo wondered if she had done the right thing. Living through so much, she had always learned to keep your chin up. Knowing that was harder than doing it, though, and she remembered how hard it was to initally get herself out of depression. It was only with the help of Kizuka that she had done so. Knowing how it felt, she never let herself sink back close to it. As she watched Zuri, she knew that she would never find the words to help her. Momo did not have parents, and barely knew the concept, as she would hardly consider herself an adept mother.
She stretched a wing out in empathly, lightly hovering it over Zuri's shoulder. She assumed it would be a little awkward, but there was no hiding what she was. It was her way of comforting the lioness. "I'm sorry if I stepped over my bounds," she said with a shake of her head. "I'm not the best at this, even tripping over my words. While I'm here, feel free to call on me if you want to talk again."
She felt sadness herself, but moreso for the fact that she hadn't been able to help Zuri much. Hopefully someday she would. With her tail curled towards her body, she nodded her head. "It will be interesting to see, but that is probably a good idea." Chuckling, she continued. "Especially if he is any bit as mischevious as Ku'i and Aharu when they were nothing but cubs."
She tilted her head before offering a soft smile. "Do you have an idea where I might find her? You're the first one I've come across since returning."
She stiffened slightly at the outstretched wing, but only for a moment. She simply grew accustomed to it after a moment, realizing that her only discomfort was in the fact that it reminded her far too much of the father she had lost and the little cub that was the living, breathing memory of him. "No, it's alright," she said with a small nod, "you're doing the best you can. I'm not really the best at this either, to be honest. I'm not really the cuddly, loving type." She turned her face to look up at Momo, offering her a nod, "thank you though, for doing it. Without mom or dad, this is the closest anyone has been to me like they might." If she needed her while she was here, then she would seek her out, though she didn't think she had any shortage of listening ears - not with that Rishi fellow always trying to hang around.
"Well, she's probably near the caves, actually," she said, glancing in the direction of them, "she has her own cubs, along with him, so she stays close to them most of the time." Oh, she knew that they were handful, especially when one threw in little Ush. She just couldn't bear to be around them to help, not just yet, not with everything so fresh on her mind. Aliona always did have a bigger heart than her though.
Momo laughed, though it was obvious she was still embarassed of herself. "Well, I'm glad I didn't make a total fool of myself. Don't keep yourself too far away from us. If so I'll be sure to find you to make sure you're still around." It was a poor attempt at a joke, one that a mother might make, but Momo had never been too good at that. She had a heart that was a bit too soft for anything but love.
"I'll be sure to find her. Especially if she has her own set of children running around like your bunch did when you were that young." Raising herself up, her wings folding themselves again close to her back.
"Though I'm sure it's hard, I'm glad to be back," she said, her smile warming slightly. "Even more so since it seems I'm remembered." Not that she expected differently, but she was never one to have high esteem for herself.
Zuri felt a half-hearted smile stretch across her maw at the small joke, a light touch of laughter leaking out. "I'm sure I won't be going anywhere, I don't really think the family could take many more of us just up and disappearing to be quite honest." She did nod her head at her though, because no matter the awkwardness of the situation, Zuri did appreciate it. She felt a little more.. something. She wasn't sure what it was, but it was there.
"Oh, hers are all that and more, I'm positive," she said with a little laugh, her head tilting up to watch the goddess as she stood. It didn't even surprise her that her laughter came a little easier, that it made her feel less guilty to be laughing now. She settled down into a comfortable laying position, curling her paws against her chest. "I'm glad you're back, we could all use you right about now," she nodded at her, and turned to lay her head down, content that the goddess was moving on to help her sister.
Momo nodded her head. "Thank you. It means a lot to me, since I don't quite have a home to be in. This is probably the closest thing to it." She tilted her head to the side as she thought about it. Yeah, it pretty much was. Even after everywhere she had been, this was the place that most felt like home.
Her tail bobbing behind her, she looked back at Zuri over her shoulder. "I will see you soon."
Slipping through the Umanda'mfuni jungle, the goddess kept her attention to the caves in her memory. Knowing that there would be a different face to greet her upset her, but she knew that at least everything else would be the same. A welcome invite, a home to belong to. Hope.
