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 Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 3:37 pm
January 109
Jashua Aldon stretched out against the back wall of White Shadow’s fort, beneath a tree. She smiled as she watched her Bonded, FlameWake, scamper about after a grasshopper not too far from her. Pleased that she was here, that she had made it this far. She couldn’t believe it really. That someone like her had Bonded when Loche, strong, confident, Loche, had not. That was when she remembered, she still hadn’t read that letter she had received from him the day she had Bonded with FlameWake. Having been at White Shadow barely two days she had yet to obtain a uniform that fit her so she stuck to her Recruit’s uniform until that day come. Reaching into her pocket she pulled out the letter he had sent her, running her hands over it with a smile. Knowing it was filled with his best wishes and hope for her. She couldn’t wait to respond and tell him she had Bonded, that as soon as FlameWake was old enough she would come visit him and introduce the two. Still smiling as she awaited her Patron she opened the letter, two things fell from the envelope, one was another envelope addressed to Jashua in Loche’s handwriting, the other was a letter.. But it wasn’t Loche’s messy, small, illegible writing she saw there. No, she recognized this writing from letters he had received, this was the loose, gentle cursive of his mother’s pen. This worried her as she read on.
‘Dearest Jashua, I am so sorry for having to share this information with you by writing, but I won’t be able to come up to you for awhile and I know you cannot leave the Academy during winter. Please Jashua, I hope one day you will be able to forgive me for this seemingly heartless way of conveying such news.
Jashua, you of all people know how Loche didn’t bond. Well when he returned to us he seemed to be in denial, he would talk about how ‘There was always next year’. I think that, when he heard of the next Bonding, he realized that there really wasn’t next time.
Jashua, I don’t know how to tell you this. But Loche took his own life last week. In one hand he had a pistol he’d stolen from the Academy, in the other he had a letter that was addressed to you. I didn’t open the letter and have enclosed it here.
I know you and Loche were close, I am so very sorry I cannot be there for you. He talked about you a lot. It seems that you meant a lot to him. I hope one day you will be able to forgive me for giving you this tragic news in such an impersonal way Jahsua. I would love to meet you face to face one day.
My love and deepest Sympathies
Azeal Arinton’
As Jashua read the letter it felt like something had fallen apart inside her, and her own tears joined the already tear stained paper. Loche, her Loche, the one person who had gotten her through her Academy years, the one who had had more faith in her than anyone. Loche had taken his own life. Loche had been more distressed about not Bonding than he had let on, even to Jashua…
Hoping for more answers she grabbed the other up from the ground and tore it open. This time Loche’s small, illegible scribbling met her eyes. It almost comforted her, as if Loche was still there.
‘Hey Josh.
Y’know. We spent a lot of time together in the Academy, for the years we were there. You were a pretty awesome girl, I mean, you managed to keep the DSSG in line. That’s something no one else could ever do.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, when your stay at the Academy is over, Bonded or not…
Jashua Aldon will you marry me?
Loche Arinton’
A whimpered escaped Jashua’s mouth as she read. Loche, Loche who had taken his own life, Loche wanted to marry her? Had Jashua known sooner she would have agreed in a heartbeat. But now….now she would never even see him again, now he was lost to her. The papers in her lap crumpled as she pulled in on herself, her glazed eyes staring off blankly, tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Loche?” FlameWake felt the sudden change in her Rider’s mood and approached. She knew who Loche was, she knew how Jashua felt about Loche, but she made no connections to the words ‘Death’ or ‘Gone’ that were running through her riders mind. Searching confused through her riders mind she quickly understood her riders emotions as she made the connections. Whimpering herself she approached Jashua quietly, laying her head on her Rider’s shoulder comfortingly.
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 4:56 pm
Calmly, slowly Alister Shields drifted across the snow, as a silent as a ghost. This was his first full day back to the fort (more like second but the night before didn't count) since Twilight had been confined to the caves months ago. True he'd spent days and nights alone in his room but for the most part he'd hovered around the caves until the black female had chased him off. Of course he'd expected her to do that at some point or the other not that that had stopped him from hanging about at a distance.
A slight brush the wolf's mind against his and then the flick of her tail just as she moved a flowing black shadow past him and toward the tree where he'd instructed the girl to meet him.
Jashua Aldon.
Rolling his eyes at the addition from Twilight he merely snorted shaking his head. Jashua Aldon...and FlameWake...the first apprentice pair he'd even considered in years...and the only reason he had considered them was at Twilight's prompting and insistence.
It'll be good for you, she'd said. You need someone else to pay attention to, besides Calla. He'd snapped at her for that one, which had only served to amuse the wolf more much to his disdain. Oh if only the wolf had stopped there, but no...Twilight enjoyed torturing him, quite possibly more than he enjoyed torturing the newer riders and even some of the older ones.
Besides, she'd said heading out to roll in the last clinging bits of snow. You don't really have much of a choice. True words, but a blow to his already suffering pride. Suffering by his own hand it seemed but those thoughts were for another time...right now he was more intent on getting this first meeting over with so he could return to his room and hide away there with the vain hope that his sanctuary wouldn't get invaded.
You can worry about hiding away later...right now we seem to have a bit of a problem.
A problem of what order?
A quiet almost barely audible huff came from the black female as the wind shifted kicking up the remains of the fluffy snow. She's crying.
There was a moment of silence that passed through Alister's mind before he frowned and as he drew nearer the frown turned to a scowl. This was certainly not what he had been hoping to deal with...but as it stood he never did have much of a tolerance for shows of weakness...at least not in the open.
Be gentle with her will you. Tucking her tail around her, Twilight settled herself in the snow to watch her rider, as a sigh drifted from her.
Aren't I always?
"Private Aldon...on your feet, now." There was no pity in his voice, no trace of even the faintest hints of remorse. If there was one thing this private was going to learn and learn quickly was just how heartless and ruthless Alister Shields could be.
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 5:27 pm
Alister’s harsh summons fell on deaf ears. Jashua was wrapped in her own mind, she could feel the darkness pushing in on her. Loche. Loche. Loche. Loche. Loche, Loche. Loche. Loche.
Gone, dead. Killed by his own hand, killed by his own disappointment in his self.
Loved her. Wanted to marry her. Wanted to make her his, Bonded or not.
Never could now. It was over, he was gone. She didn’t deserve to be here. Her lowly, weak, depressed self didn’t deserve to be here. Here, in White Shadow, here bonded to a wolf, to FlameWake. Here, succeeding where Loche had failed, and in that failure taken his own life. She, Jashua Aldon did not deserve to live, not when she had been given what Loche had been deprived of. All the work she’d done for him, how loyal she’d been to him, and now she’d betrayed him, the very bond between her and FlameWake was a betrayal to him.
The tears continued unnoticed down her cheeks. She wasn’t here, in White Shadow with Alister staring coldly down at her.
She was at the Academy, a lost and confused girl with a suitcase in one hand, hair falling in her face, struggling down the hall with her heavy suitcase. A tall man came up behind her and took the suitcase, his red hair hanging in his face, almost covering his glittering silver eyes.
“Hey there. Loche Arinton. You look lost.” He said, smiling down at her.
“J-jashua Aldon. R-room 87.” She managed to stammer out in her surprise, glad to be rid of the suitcases weight and able to brush the hair from her face.
“Nice to meet you Josh. Funny name for a girl.” Loche said, laughing. His was a gentle, soothing laugh, Jashua was already casting him as the large teddy bear type of person, “87 eh? Well then looks like I get a cute girl next door!” His voice was singsong as he said this, leading a now furiously blushing Jashua down the hall to room 87 and waiting patiently as she fumbled with the key she’d been given.
“Don’t worry Josh. I’ll protect ya from Adrian. You can join the DSSG if ya want. Look, for now you just get comfortable, change into your uniform. Dinner’s in ten I’ll come get you then ‘Kay?” Loche asked but he failed to wait for an answer, “If you need anything I’m right next door.” He said before continuing on past her and into the room on the other side. Leaving Jashua dazed and confused before finally dragging her suitcase into the room.
FlameWake eyes Alister warily as he approached, failing to notice her mother nearby. She kept on alert as Alister stopped before her Rider, who was obviously lost. And as soon as the harsh words left his mouth her hackles were up. In a flash she lunged at Alister, snapping at his legs and hands fiercly.
“SAD! SAD!” She hissed at him, orange eye’s glaring at him in a deep rooted anger. No one had the right to treat her Rider like that. Especially when she was in such a state! As far as she was concerned this man had no right to even be near her Rider! It was then she recognized him. This was the man her mother and father had often shooed away from the cave, but he never left. She lunged again, with renewed anger this time. FlameWake already did not like this man.
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 5:45 pm
The scowl was deepening and the usual irritation was there as well, simply getting worst as he found himself the target of the pup's fury. You do want your pup alive don't you Twilight? While he wouldn't dream of causing any serious harm to the pup simply because of her mother, that didn't mean he couldn't...and wouldn't make her life a living hell.
Of course I do. Huffing again Twilight rose calmly moving to grasp FlameWake by the scruff of her neck and giving the pup a good shake. "Calm yourself pup, Alister's not gonna do anything much to her. Rough her up a bit yes..but nothing more than that." Voice stern but still holding the gentle tones of a mother scolding a child, Twilight dropped her daughter at her feet, before settling gold and green eyes on the dark pup. "It's understandable that you want to protect your rider but you shouldn't go about snapping at other riders, you might get yours in trouble."
Grateful that he wasn't under attack from an angry ball of fluff for the moment, Alister returned his focus and annoyance to the young woman seated under the tree. With a growl of annoyance he bent grabbing her arm and twisting it as he dragged her to her feet. Still keeping his grip on her arm, his brown and green eyes narrowed dangerously as he stared down at the woman. His day wasn't going to be getting any better from here on out he could see that...but at least he had a new victim to transfer all his annoyance to. And oh how he would take advantage of that.
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 1:15 pm
Jashua didn’t react as Alister pulled her up from her position. She simply gripped the letters tighter in her hand, not caring that she was crinkling them, damaging them. That didn’t mean anything. They were just paper. It was amazing how something as simple as paper could cause such damage to a person’s mind. The numb feeling that was coursing through her blood she knew would soon be followed by pain, but that didn’t matter. Pain would be good. She didn’t deserve to be here at all. Why, why had he done it? Why hadn’t he sent her the letter first? Why hadn’t he tried to contact him if he considered her so dear?
Why couldn’t she join him?
Jashua found Loche beneath the shadow of a tree at the edge of a clearing. His silver eyes dark as he watched the newly bonded. Jashua sat down beside him, doing her best to keep a smile on her face.
“This was the last one Josh.” He whispered, even his tone seemed darker than normal.
“Not necessarily. There have been late litters before.” Jashua pointed out, carefully keeping her voice cheerful and hopeful. Watching Loche out of the corner of her eye.
“None to come out in a week. My birthday’s in a week Josh. I’m going to be too old.” Loche said coldly. Jashua was at a loss, she’d never seen Loche like this before.
“Well that doesn’t mean you have to leave yet!” Jashua insisted, she knew what he was thinking. He was already contemplating how he was going to arrange all of his belongings in his suitcase when he got back to his room. Jash didn’t want him to leave yet.
“Yes it does Josh. I’m too old. I’ve got to go home and figure out what I’m going to do with myself. Maybe I’ll get a job at a fort.” Loche said with a sigh, brushing dark red hair from his face.
“Then I’ll come with you!” Jashua suggested, “We can wo-“
“No Josh.” Loche cut her off, “You’ve got another year, another chance.” Loche said, his tone and the look her gave her showing that there was no room for argument in this matter.
“Hey Loche!” Justin came over, a small dark ball of fluff nipping playfully at his heels, “Josh!”
“Does it have a name?” Loche asked, his tone and face changing. Happy now, but Jashua knew it was a lie. It comforted her slightly, that he would only share those dark thoughts with her.
“Her name is SilverEye.”
That memory. That day, that final bonding last year. That was the day she had lost Loche. Had he written the letter before then? Planning to send it to her later and then forgotten until the day he took his life? Took himself away from her? Why hadn’t she seen it coming? Why hadn’t she insisted on coming with him!?
“W-w-why….” Her voice was a barely audible whisper. Her question directed at no one but herself, still she failed to acknowledge Alister’s existence. Failed to even see him really, her vision was dark and blurry, tears still fell down her face.
“Mom! Man bad.” FlameWake’s words were followed by an image of Alister being chased away from the cave, shooting a glare at Alister before looking back up at her mom. Struggling to find the words to convey to her mother what was going on with her Rider. Maybe her mother would understand, would know how FlameWake could help. The small wolf was feeling lost and confused, not knowing how to defend her Rider from whatever it was that was plaguing her. “Loche.” FlameWake sent and image of the young man that she had drawn from Josh’s memory, “Gone.” Her words were puzzled. She didn’t really understand what gone was, only that it was hurting Jashua very, very much. “Josh sad. Confused.”
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Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 6:34 pm
There was no sign of flustering from the man, not even as his grip tightened and shifted to her wrist. A quiet. slow, deliberate tightening that was more intended to fracture or even break the young woman's wrist as the remains of his patience began to wane. Really, hadn't he had enough torment to deal with over the past few days? Did the fates believe he needed a very comatose apprentice as well?
A quiet huff and his grip tightened. One last warning before he gave into one of two immediate temptations. "Private Jashua Aldon. Pay attention before I break your wrist." Was it an idle threat? Not at all. It was either he would break her wrist or shoot her. Breaking her wrist didn't seem to be that much of a problem, and it would take very little energy considering the mood he was in. Provided...it would take even less to simply shoot her. Ah decisions...decisions and equal temptations.
A quiet amused chuckle escaped Twilight and she shook her head. "No darling...not bad...annoying at times but not bad." There was a quiet bit of amusement radiating from the black wolf and she nuzzled her pup all the while milling over the image and words. Gone...the word had two meanings as far as she knew...one being gone in the temporary sense...and the other...the other meant gone, as in dead and never coming back. Both could cause someone sorrow but...lifting her head to stare at the still weeping and oblivious girl Twilight gave a soft sigh, this seemed to be concerning the latter meaning of the word.
Looking down at the confused little wolf pup, Twilight gave a soft sad smile and let out a breath. Now to explain such a concept to the pup...but how? Tail swaying slowly she pondered her words for a minute before tilting her head and looking down at FlameWake. "He's gone...meaning...he's not coming back. Josh won't get to see him again, ever." Her voice was low as she searched her mind for something an image of some sort that would help the poor pup to understand...but to be honest...she couldn't find one. Death and dealing with it were things that had to be learned it seemed. It was either that, or she was simply unable of putting into words just...what it meant for someone to be gone.
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Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 8:50 am
A flash of red caught Jashua’s eye, though still she was oblivious to the pain in her wrist.
“Loche?” She whispered, though she had acknowledged Alister’s presence it was not he she was speaking to, in fact she seemed to be looking straight through him. “Loche, that’s not a very nice prank.” Her voice was hallow, revealing how lost and numb she really was. “So you managed to get a job at the fort then? How did you get your mom to write that, you were never good at forging things.” She whispered, monotone and hollow. She was back to the present, but still she denied reality, carrying on her half of the conversation with the man she thought was Loche.
“I suppose the other letter was a fake as well then? You really shouldn’t do that Loche, people will tend to take you seriously.” She continued, lecturing the man that wasn’t there, failing to feel pain or emotions. She had even run out of tears, her face dry, leaving behind streaks of salt and empty eyes. Had one not seen her breathing, not heard her speaking, one would have assumed she was dead. The way here eyes were glazed and unfocused, her face expressionless. It was obvious to any onlooker that wherever Jashua was, it was not here.
FlameWake was still confused, but felt safer with her mother present.
“Never meet Loche?” She asked, head cocked slightly to one side, eyes darting between her Rider and her Mother. Resisting the urge to attack the man again, not wanting another scolding. She approached the explanation from various directions, but still failed to come to a conclusion. How could she not meet Loche? She knew so much about Loche, almost as much as she knew about her Rider, of course she would meet the man she knew so much about! But her mother would never lie to her, would she? Mom had never lied to her before, why would she now? Something prevented Josh and her from ever seeing Loche again. But though FlameWake wasn’t sure what that was she knew she had to do something about it, something to make her Rider feel better.
“What Wake do?” She asked, looking expectantly up at her mother. Mom would know what to do! Mom knew everything and would know what to do to protect her Josh, as tempting as it was to launch another assault on Alister.
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Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:20 pm
A look of pure disgust crossed his face and dully Alister noted the feel of bone slightly giving way in his grip but not completely. A fracture then, not like it'd matter to him either way. The girl was...irritating him to put it mildly. Shoving her away from his person he released her wrist with a slight growl before turning on his heel and beginning to march back to the fort. What a waste of time. Really...was this the best the academy could put out?
Absolutely...disappointing not to mention annoying. A comatose apprentice, if he had known in advance that this was what he would have to deal with, he would have turned down the proposal. "Twilight. We're leaving." He announced despite the fact that he'd already begun to head back the way he'd come.
Shaking her head Twilight nuzzled the pup gently rising to her feet. "Wake can go and snap her rider out of this state while I stop mine from escaping." She said nudging FlameWake toward Jashua. Oh no..Alister wasn't escaping per se, rather he was leaving which...would not bode well for Jashua once she finally snapped out of this state...whatever this state was anyway.
Calmly slipping past Alister, Twilight planted herself in front of her rider with a huff. 'You're not leaving.' Seeing the look the man tossed at her she huffed. Don't give me that look either. That girl needs a patron and considering you're the one they dropped her on...I think that speaks for itself.
Why should I have to be subjected to dealing with a brain dead fool? Arms crossed and staring down the wolf, Alister kept a fair amount of distance between himself and Twilight lest the wolf spring at him out of annoyance as she had done on more than one occasion.
I thought I'd given you enough of a valid reason? flicking her tail in annoyance and more than a little irritation Twilight huffed pacing in front of Alister and at the same time staring him down. The girl is is hurting because her friend died...at the very least have some sort of sympathy for her.
The only reply to that was a bitter laugh from the man and not for the first time Twilight really and truly considered biting him.
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Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 6:54 am
Her vision still blurry as Alister turned away Jashua fell to the ground again, seeing Loche turn from her and leave. Fresh sobs fell from her as the reality of it all sunk in again. Fear of being alone pressed in on her, taunted her, mocked her. Jashua whimpered beneath it all, wishing it would go away, wishing it would leave her alone. It was then Jashua felt a warm weight in her lap, automatically her hands reached out and stroked FlameWake’s head softly.
FlameWake nodded and moved hesitantly towards Jash, a half-whimper stuck in her throat as she laid her head in Jashua’s lap, orange eyes looking up at her pleadingly, “Josh? Josh are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay.” FlameWake said, she attempted to imitate her mother’s soothing tone, but in the end it came out more as a groan than anything else.
Jash forced herself to smile, resting her hand on FlameWake’s head.
‘Josh will be okay dear.’ Jash forced herself to say. Through this whole time she’d almost forgotten Wake! The pup needed her and Jashua had allowed herself to slip back into her depression! She couldn’t do that, she couldn’t leave Wake to be alone like she was. Calla pulled herself up onto her feet, leaning heavily against the tree behind her. She was tired and dizzy and feeling weak, and on top of that there was a shooting pain in her hand. Shaking herself to try and steady her footing only caused further pain in the extremity. Tearing away part of her skirt she wrapped it about her hand and tied it as best she could to keep it in place until she could get it examined. Her thoughts were still fuzzy but she knew she couldn’t stay this way, Wake needed her, Wake needed someone to show her the world and she had chosen Jashua to do so, she would have to fulfill that duty before she could think of herself. As one last mark Jashua knelt to the ground and dug out a small hole between the roots of the tree.
“I’m sorry Loche. Wake needs me.” She whispered as she gathered the scattered pieces of the letter and set them beneath the roots, covering the hole back up she turned back towards the Fort. It was then that she finally recognized Alister, the man she supposed was her Patron until she was old enough to care for herself.
“Sergeant Alister Shields.” She strode over to him, forced to salute with her opposite hand, “Private Apprentice Jashua Aldon, I hope you can forgive this error.” Her voice was still quiet and shaky, her thoughts unable to shake Loche completely, but she would have to try.
FlameWake danced behind her rider, yipping cheerfully. “See mom! See mom! Wake help! Wake can help!” She said proudly, stopping before her mother and smiling up at her, her orange eye’s glittered with pride even though she didn't quite know what she had done to help. She still didn’t understand what was wrong with Loche, but she was glad Jashua was being Jashua again, she didn’t like it when Jashua wasn’t Jashua.
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