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 Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 7:01 am
 The last star left in heaven....
Friday, February 20th.
Today was an okay today.. I guess.. I got one hour of sleep. I had to go put my gain share check in the bank, so I was stuck going. We went to the Trade Fair and I got some of my stuff.. and we bought some DVD's. I'm getting rid of the Trade Fair booth I used to rent, I wasn't making s**t.
I bought All Dogs Go To Heaven and I forced Matt to watch it. Other than the singing, he really liked it. I guess I forgot what cartoons were like when I was a kid. All Dogs Go To Heaven is Rated G.. but in the movie the characters spend most of their time drinking, stealing, trying to kill someone, gambling.. and there are many characters that smoke. You just don't see that stuff in kid's movies anymore.. why, I don't know. I don't get what the big deal is. There was also a cross-dressing, obviously gay alligator in the movie.. hahaha.. I love that movie..
All the drama with my guild is making me nuts. I just want everyone to be happy. I'm like losing major sleep over it. But I can't talk about that anymore today..
Me and Matt are doing okay.. I just feel like I haven't seen him. We ended up on different sleeping schedules, somehow. If I'm awake, he's asleep. If he's asleep, I'm awake. And other than this guild business keeping me awake.. I feel like all I did Tuesday and Wednesday was sleep. I slept so much.. I just keep wasting my days off doing nothing. My room hasn't been clean in like two weeks. It seems all I do now is sleep and get on Gaia.
I have a report I'm writing for work... I quit writing it. I had books in the works- haven't looked at them. My website hasn't been touched since I made the guild, and I've yet to draw my last avatar art OR draw the stupid Punisher for this guy at work. I need to get motivated, badly.
.....has fallen down to earth...
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:26 am
The last star left in heaven....
I posted this in the guild... but I wanted it here in my diary as well..
As some of you may know, I have this scary obsession with thinking about dying. An unwanted obsession, that in the past few years I've almost broke free of.
Until just a few years ago, the only person I had ever known who died was my grandpa. I used to see him every Wednesday for like ever. But.. like I said.. I "saw" him. He was a grumpy old man, and he made dollhouses all day. He rarely ever spoke to me even though I was at his house so often. I was young when he died, and I didn't like him, really. I didn't know him. When he died, it didn't really affect me.
My sophomore year, one of my best friend's dad died. I never even met him. But being the kind of person that I am, she asked me to be at his funeral to be at her side. I cried and cried. I cried for her and for her family, not for him. I didn't know him at all, but he was so loved.. and it hurt me to see everyone there.
Yesterday.. my friend died. I hadn't really seen her in a while. The last time I really spent a good amount of time with her was when I was in high school. I saw her just a few months ago, though, at Wal-Mart. She was so happy, laughing. She was all excited about going to college. Though I hadn't seen her since then, and we never hung out really outside of school or school events.. I considered her a friend, and she did me. We just hung out with different crowds.. she was a good girl, I was a troublemaker. But we always got along, and I always enjoyed talking with her. I was all stressed out about what was going on with the guild, and then I got this text message. Very plain, to the point- yet so mind altering. "Kailee died. Car crash." I felt this rush come over me, and I was scared. I didn't know the number. I wasn't sure if someone I didn't know accidentally texted me.. I didn't know if it was my young cousin Kayla. I was so afraid it was Kayla, she just got her drivers license. I called the number to hear my friend Sara on the other end, bawling. "Are you okay?" "No.. no.. Kailee Eastwood is dead." Oh my god. It was someone I knew. And someone I know had died. Sara continued to cry. "I gotta go.." she said. "Take care of yourself, okay." I told her.. I set down the phone. Wow.. dead. It was like, the strangest feeling I have ever had. I have never known someone like that, never had someone die I really knew. The first thing I saw was her laughing, so happy in my head. It's not right.. it's so hard. I cried for her, and for her family. She has a loving mom and a little league football coach dad. She has like six siblings, all younger than her besides Clint. I could not imagine how they must feel.. Clint was a good friend of mine, and we have stayed in touch after school. He was kind, such a great kid, just like all his siblings. They were a great family.. ARE a great family. And it pains me so much to think of what they are feeling right now.
Whew.. I just needed to get that off my chest. Everyone.. even if you aren't religious.. pray for this family, cause I am. I don't know who I'm praying to.. but I'm praying neverless that they can somehow get by.
.....
.....has fallen down to earth...
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Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 4:59 pm
The last star left in heaven.... Six people that me or my mom knew have died in the past four weeks. Kailee was the hardest for me. But Matt's grandma was hard too. "Mrs. Audrey Maxine Taylor of Garden City, Missouri was born March 15, 1922 near Garden City the daughter of Clarence Daniel and Bessie Katherine (Dykes) Conrad. She departed this life on Monday, March 9, 2009 at Menorah Medical Center, Overland Park, Kansas at the age of 86 years, 11 months, 24 days. On December 12, 1940, Maxine was united in marriage to Glenn E. Taylor in Clinton, Missouri. Maxine was a homemaker and enjoyed staying at home taking care of her seven children. She enjoyed her family, music, flowers, wind chimes, the outdoors and collecting everything. Maxine was a lifelong area resident. Besides her parents, she was preceded in death by her husband, Glenn on April 8, 2000; twin grandsons, Christopher and Christian Bates; a granddaughter, Tammy K. Fuller; great-grandson, Keeton Stutzman; a brother, Clarence "Red" Conrad and a sister, Marjorie Green. She is survived by three sons, Glen "Sonny" Taylor and George C. Taylor both of Garden City, Missouri, Gary L. Taylor, Harrisonville, Missouri; four daughters, Ruth E. Akins, Creighton, Missouri, Glenda "Candy" Bates, Garden City, Missouri, Freda M. Blair, Butler Missouri, Judy C. Felton, Sibley, Missouri; twenty grandchildren; twenty-six great-grandchildren; four great-great-grandchildren; a brother, Raymond Conrad, The Colony, Texas; a sister, Geneva Conrad, Denton Texas; other relatives and many friends" .....has fallen down to earth...
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Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 8:44 am
Death and chaos seems to be the theme of the year.
heart crying Deaths of friends/family 2009 crying heart
My Dad - Samuel Shepard
Matt's uncle - Junior Bates
Matt's Grandma - Audrey Taylor
Matt's Friend - Tila Stark
My friend - Kailee Eastwood
Ryan's Mother-in-law - Kathy Sanders
Family Friend - Debbie Kilgore
Best friend of me and Matt - Jed Simmons
May they all rest in peace...
Also, I've had a lot of crappy things happen to me..
scream gonk The crappy events list gonk scream
-My sister tried to kill herself
-I suspected my mom of being back on hard-core drugs
-We lost our house.. the only one I've ever shared with Matt
-Sonny got his finger cut off
-Our car broke down and had to be towed.. like five times
-We had to live in a single motel room with six people
-Ryan left Debbie
-My mom got engaged.. yes, that's crappy if you met her fiance..
-Debbie got her oldest girls taken away
-Renay left Larry
But... I need to not be a sour a**.. and I need to look at the good things that happened too.
whee 4laugh The Good s**t 4laugh whee
-I made it to 21!
-I was finally diagnosed and medicated properly.. after years of b.s.
-My mom got her bad kidney taken out
-Matt and I are finally engaged
-I got a job that actually means something
-We ditched the friends that never cared
-We met new friends that actually do
-I started IoG
-Matt went to his first concert.. at 22.
-I met my first "underground" band that may actually go somewhere.. and got their first CD ever, signed.
-I went to the state fair for the first time
Whew.. I feel better already.. next up, things happening this year or next that I look forward too!
wink cool Good things to come cool wink
-My Wedding
-Meeting in December
-Me and Matt getting our liscences.. or at least our permits! We'll do it, I swear!
-Getting another raise at work
-Getting the van in our names
-Finishing spenstuff, I swear I'll do this too!
-Maybe getting my grandma's house and def. getting my grandma's car (she's moving to Washington)
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Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 8:48 am
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Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:26 am
Ever since the epic fail of the rings, I have kept track of what I've got. Here I will list my rings, that way if my computer ever crashes, I'll know where I am.. elaborate.. maybe. Asterics mean I have all the rings in the set. Green means it's leveled up to 10, blue means I have all the rings in the set at 10.
zOMG Rings:
*Medic: footspeed
Diagnose: 10.0
Defibralate: 10.0
Bandage: 10.0
Adrenilane: 10.0
*Angel: luck (loot)
Hunters Bow: 10.0
Solar Rays: 10.0
Wish: 10.0
Healing Halo: 10.0
*Ninja: accuracy and dodge
Divinity: 10.0
Mantis: 10.0
Shruiken: 10.0
Ghost: 10.0
*Demon: health regen
Fire Rain: 10.0
Scaredy Cat: 10.0
Teflon Spray: 10.0
Iron Will: 10.0
*Space Trooper: accuracy
Guns, Guns, Guns: 10.0
Duct Tape: 8.0
Improbability Sphere: 10.0
My Density: 10.0
*Pirate: persistent armor
Shark Attack: 2.0
Slash: 8.0
Quicksand: 10.0
Keen Eye: 10.0
*Chef: dodge
Hack: 6.0
Knife Sharpen: 2.0
Pot Lid: 10.0
Meat: 9.0
Prankster: maximum health
Hot Foot: 2.0
Heavy Water Balloon:
Gum Shoe: 8.0
Fleet Feet: 10.0
*Shaman: stamina regen
Dervish: 9.0
Hornet Nest: 3.0
Rock Armor: 5.0
Coyote Spirit: 10.0
Athlete: debuff resistance
Bump: 8.0
Taunt:
Turtle: 8.0
Fitness:
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Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:39 am
A New List for a New Year!
scream gonk The crappy events list gonk scream
- My mom has cancer
- Matt left me for a week
- Things with Matt still seem iffy now that he's back
- Called off my engagement
whee 4laugh The Good s**t 4laugh whee
- I got another computer that's pretty cool
- Found a fun myspace app, maybe the only one
- Got diagnosed right after years of bs.. yes.. I said this last time.. haha
- Got on medicine that actually helps me
wink cool Good things to come cool wink
- My raise.. when is that again??
- Spenstuff?? Ever??
- Matt's parents moving out.. crossing my fingers..
- Getting a car?
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Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 4:29 pm
gonk What about me visiting in late March?? Does that mean nothing???
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