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 Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 11:27 pm
I know I'm not around much, and don't deserve your help, but... here the deal...
Long story short, a friend of mine cheated on his ex girlfriend(girl A) and ended up getting married to that girl(Girl B). Now he's having problems with her(Girl B), she's having problems with him, most of my friends are on his side, and he's cheating on his soon-to-be-ex-wife(Girl B) with that same ex-girlfriend(Girl A). The main thing that ticks me off is how the finger is always being pointed at the wife(Girl B) (she has a really bad temper I'll admit), but still... I'm not really sure what to do... especially when I'm trying my best to stay neutral and all that.
Please help... sweatdrop
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Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 6:33 pm
I'm a bit confused with who's been cheating on who. Could you give them fictional names or call them girl a and girl b or something? I want to make sure I have a clear understanding of the situation before I make any suggestions.
But you are absolutely worthy of our help. We love to help anyone.
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Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 10:38 am
So he cheated on his girlfriend with the girl who he was gonna marry, and now he's cheating on his wife with the original girl?
Pray'd
Just be there for both of them, but get on with your life too.
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Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 1:33 pm
[L.O.S.E.R.]: I edited with the Girl A/Girl B stuff
Elisabeth: He cheated on his gf, then decided to marry the girl he cheated on his gf with. Now he's going back and cheating on his wife with the same gf he cheated on, so yeah...
I'm trying to be there for both of them, and the wife is making that part easier, but my friend and his friends are being ridiculous... -_- Part of me wishes I was the type of person who could just let it go... but it's just... so unfair...
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Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 7:21 pm
He made a pact with God when he married, it is his duty to uphold that. That is all I'm going to say.... confused
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Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 7:26 pm
Haven923 He made a pact with God when he married, it is his duty to uphold that. That is all I'm going to say.... confused
Seconded.
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 4:59 am
[[@ Rin: I love your avi. I mean, srsly. I'm looking at your equipped items when I'm done posting...!]]
If he loved her enough to marry her [Girl B], then surely they can work it out?
rolleyes Life. It annoys me.
I'm praying for them to work it out and for you to know what's best. 3nodding
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 5:55 am
Well, the Bible does say divorce is fine if it's for martial unfaithfulness. However, a man and a woman become one flesh when they get married. That's what my Christian RE teacher says, anyway. They should still try to work it out.
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 12:24 pm
@ Haven & Spike: I know he made a pact with God, this is partially why I'm annoyed. They are both unbelievers, however... so this is like nothing to them, I suppose.
@Elisabeth: I think is was more lust than love because he only knew her for like... two months before they got married... (Thanks for the compliment, I appreciate it. ^_^ )
@ Voldemort: According to a friend of mine, the husband told him that the wife also cheated on him(though the husband hasn't always told the truth, so I'm hesitant to believe this...). So they're both being jerks and all, but if she did it first as the husband claims, I don't see why he can't just be the better person and not do it back?
Also, It's not because they've both cheated that they're getting their marriage annoled...(I'm positive the wife knows nothing about the husband cheating) they just don't like eachother's attitude. I want to suggest marriage counseling, but I'm sure they wont listen to me... they never do.
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 12:55 pm
Ahh, they're not Christians. Well, you should probably get marriage counselling for them (if they don't want to go, you can't make them, but at least suggest it) and pray for them. Maybe you should ask the wife if she really did cheat on him?
Maybe you could let them know what you believe about marriage, and that they're breaking God's rules, and that marriage is sacred and you shouldn't break it? Maybe they really will be better off if they get it anulled. At least you could tell them not to rush into it next time. There isn't really a lot you can do if they're not Christians. That's another thing you can pray for: that through this they'll be saved.
((If I'm not making sense, it's cause I'm ill. Also, my parents undownloaded the Google toolbar from the computer, so I have no spellcheck for my Gaia posts. sweatdrop ))
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 2:36 pm
(You're fine. I really appreciate thie advice. ^_^ )
I would ask, but... I feel awkward about it. Also, I think if I do ask, and it's not true, she'll rush further into getting the wedding annuled.
They both know what I believe, especially about marriage. They would really listen to me if I mentioned God's rules... ^_^;
Several of my other friends are rooting for the marriage to end... It kind of depresses me...
As for not rushing into things, I would whole heartidly agree... but society these days... My opinion wont even be a whisper to them.
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:39 pm
Well, all you can do is try. You can't jump inside their heads and make them act right. Just let them know how you feel about the situation, and if they don't listen, just let it be. Continue to be supportive and neutral, and maybe ask your friends if they'll just cut the wife some slack. If they start talking bad about her, just say you're neutral and don't join in. And most importantly, remember we're all praying for you and this situation.
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Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:03 am
Thanks. ^_^
Turns out the divorce went through... and all my friends look at me like I'm insane for not taking my friend's side in all of it. sweatdrop Then again, they could never understand how I feel abiout these things, so I don't expect anything different. I also found out a bit more of what the wife was doing, and it annoys me even more that my friend couldn't wait until after the divorce to sink to her level... Oh well, It's over... I suppose...
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Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 11:54 am
I'm sorry to hear that. At least the drama might die down.
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Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 1:27 pm
Yeah. I just wish they wouldn't give me the attitude anymore, but I already talked it over with another friend of mine... I'm gonna try to stay away from them as much as I can. I only upset myself went I get sucked into these dramas...
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