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 Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 9:25 am
Yes?
Whoever invented Valentine's Day should be STONED. And RAPED. And MURDERED very hard. And then BURNED.
It is a very mean holiday. Especially the single version: Single Awareness Day?! Not only is that S.A.D. (ha, ha, ha. -.-) but come on. Single Awareness. WHO WANTS TO BE AWARE OF THAT?! Why remind them? Valentines' day is discriminatory against the single and I'm about to kick a certain someone in the balls. Rrrr.....
*cough*
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Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 3:43 pm
Can do! Got any spare condoms on you?
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Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 6:00 pm
I was wondering whether to send you a valentine or not. I'll take this as a no.
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Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 7:03 pm
I'm sorry. I love you, though. heart
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Posted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 4:45 pm
LIfe ******** itself pretty hard without them.
-.- *grumpy*
Of course VDay is the least of my worries. But whatever...it's the easiest to whine about.
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Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 7:28 am
It's hard to get STDs you don't already have from masturbating. Well known fact. But if I'M going to get into the action, I demand protection!
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Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 7:42 am
Protection is good.
One time without protection is all you need, and you will never go back.
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Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:58 pm
Unless -
I'd like to read a story about a paranoid, perhaps hypochondriac young women who discovered that the condom had broken while her boyfriend and she were busily copulating and became obsessed with rare STDs she might just not be showing symptoms of, too terrified of finding out the answer to go to the hospital and get tested and trying to figure out, to the minute, when her period should come, etc., etc, until she went crazy and walked away - not just for that but for a variety of other reasons, unable to take the stress of the city and the job market and her high-class, high-speed life, and so forth.
And her name, of course, would be Psyche.
*coughs delicately*
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Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 4:23 pm
Well thats one way to ruin sex. neutral
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Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 4:29 pm
KIDS! Don't try this at home.
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Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 5:26 pm
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Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 5:32 pm
;D That and The Internet: the entirety of my sexual education.
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Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 9:04 pm
Can't live without condoms. You know what? I was wrong. Nothing is ever easy. ******** life.
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Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 9:37 pm
She'd seduced Death: that wasn't hard, although the slide of polished bone against her hips and the way calcified digits had rubbed so strangely over the curve of her outstretched arm was not as easy to appreciate, connoisseur though she indisputably was. There was beauty there, though, and she had heat enough and feeling enough for both.
Now it was his brother's - or maybe his mother's - turn.
"Hi," she said, insinuating herself next to the concept no one had bothered to put so clear a name to, but who was low and fat and fertile and rank, with hair like wheat or mud depending on the sun, and who was leaning morosely over the counter. "Got a light?"
NOW'S YOUR CHANCE KIRBY. LEAP FOR IT. LEEEEEAP FOR IT.
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Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 2:40 pm
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